


the love you're given

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Character Growth, Cupid!robert, Death, Gen, Heaven/Hell divide, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Slow Burn, True Love, robert has to help aaron fall in love and Feelings Occur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 72,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13603815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: robert is damned for (not quite) all of time, cursed with a bow and arrow and a list of names. he's finally reached the end and only has aaron dingle to cupify - if only he'd let him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IM BACK!!
> 
> guys it's been an age, honestly i have missed writing a mega wip so much!
> 
> this is ridiculously left field, and sort of the most random thing ever but i'm known for that. it was originally going to be used for my valentines day fic but i ran away with myself as per. 
> 
> hopefully you enjoy!

  
He falls with a loud thud which disappears as soon as his head hits something light.

It takes him a while to realise where he is, because when he opens his eyes, there's this bright light shinning in his face. And it won't budge.

And then there's this sparky bright light and a clap of something and he's being dragged up onto his feet.

He's pale, purple and green bruises on his arms and a redness against his chest which won't budge.

He tries to wipe it away, scrubs harsher and harsher until he hears a voice.

"There's no use Robert." The voice demands attention, it makes something shake around him and he wants to hold onto the something but everything is just the off white colour and he's standing on -

Air?

"Who's that?" Robert says, blonde hair pressed against his forehead and his left hand shaking almost uncontrollably. "Come on, show yourself."

And the figure steps forward, dark, looming.

He makes Robert turn cold.

"What's happened to me?" Robert whispers, shuts his eyes and tries to think about the last thing he remembers. There's a fight, him and Andy, and there's _blood_. He's getting into a car, and Andy's pushing the brakes down and racing towards him and -

"You're dead."

Robert's nose turns pink, and he's suddenly standing on ice.

It makes him jump, his teeth chatter and then he's shaking his head. He can't be dead, not actually _dead_.

" _No_." He says, "How - I didn't -"

The man is still standing in front of him, and Robert wonders how long he'll be there as he feels tears stretch down his face over and over and over again.

He feels himself being pulled down somewhere and the man follows him, he's falling and falling until the temperature is hotter and he just might be sick.

"It's too hot." Robert holds his throat, ands the man watches it register, the realisation, with a dark smug smile. "I'm in Hell?"

Hell, it makes something _die_ in Robert's chest. There's a sudden disappointment within himself and he thinks of his mum.

Of the fact that for so long, the only comfort he had was that he would see her again one day.

And _now_ -

"No." The man says, motions for Robert to follow him and as he starts walking, it gets hotter and thicker and he sees himself along the sides of the room. He sees himself being born, breaking hearts, hurting people, and it's awful.

"I'm not?" Robert says, suddenly confused and tears still falling.

"Well then -"

The man suddenly halts in front of Robert and turns himself round, he smiles again and then takes a seat on this black throne.

"You've hurt many people Robert, haven't you?" The man isn't gentle, he's quick, sharp. Robert nods. "Don't you think you should pay for what you have done?"

Katie.

He hurt Andy.

He hurt everyone, he's the reason why everything bad ever happened.

"Yeah." Robert says, "I'll do anything, let me - let me make it right?"

The man taps against the chair, once, then twice, then three times before he turns his head and looks towards a bright door.

"Through there." He says.

And Robert goes willingly.

He's hit by a bright light and a sweet smell of something, feels a butterfly fly towards him and he ducks in fear, vulnerability.

And then he hears a laugh.

It filters through the sky and catches him.

He looks up and sees a woman standing in front of him, she's got a flower head thrown across her blonde hair, beautiful green eyes and -

 _Wings_?

They make him stagger back, before she's guiding him towards her.

"Now, I was told you'd do anything." Her voice is gentle, almost disappears as soon she speaks. He nods at her and she smiles. "I think the biggest lesson you have to learn young one, is the sanctity of love."

He almost laughs, he almost wants to tell whoever this is to _fuck off_. Because suddenly, in the bright blue lights and soft music around him, he isn't scared anymore.

If he's dead, he's dead and there's nothing he can do about it.

"What do I have to do then?" Robert holds his breath and she frowns at him.

He doesn't expect to hear what he does.

Because apparently, he isn't aware of how special his soul is.

"Your mother, her soul was intrinsically linked to the goddess Venus, the Goddess of love, and your father's the war God, of Mars."

And he wants to laugh his fucking head off.

"You must be having a -

He shuts his eyes and when he opens them again she's bought him closer to her and she's frowning.

"I suppose that makes me what then? A decedent of -"

She's glowing suddenly. "Yes. Robert Sugden, your soul is intrinsically linked therefore to Cupid himself."

Robert looks down at himself, sees the bruises have disappeared and been replaced with a soft rosy tint to his skin.

She _must_ be absolutely mad.

"Oh and it hurts me Robert, to see you waste your love the way you are. Mean, unkind, selfish." Her pity makes him squirm, and then she sighs. "You're _dead_ because of your actions, and now - you'll spend the rest of your days -"

"Doing what?" His eyes are wide, blown and he's sure his freckles are bright against his pale skin.

"Making others fall in love, watching, helping. You'll make up for your earthly life Robert. Until you've learnt how to love properly."

It sounds like _misery_ , it makes him cry out -

Only he can't do anything about it, and the next thing he remembers is waking up with an itchy back.

He shakes his head, pulls himself up and tries to stop the dull ache pressing into his back over and over again. He reaches back, and then -

Feathers. Fucking _feathers_.

He has _wings_ and loses his mind, tries to tug until there's blood on his hands but they won't disappear.

The woman appears again, only this time she's taller, more gentle in a soft sort of way. "You look beautiful Robert."

He shakes his head, "I look like a _joke_." He tells her, and his temper needs to subside.

She disagrees, turns and then passes him a golden set of bows and an arrow. "We'll train you as best we can, make sure you're ready."

"For what?" Robert hisses, "You don't honestly expect me to shoot at people just to make them fall in love do you?"

She frowns at him and smiles a little, "How else do you expect to make them fall in love?"

And Robert tells her doesn't want to do this, doesn't know why he _has_ to.

But she reminds him, and reminds him and he cringes against his own wrongdoings.

"This is your punishment Robert. Not forever, but for now. You used people's love for you, again and again, and now - you have to watch people experience something you never will again."

She hands him the arrows, and the bow, and the list of names.

"I have to make these people fall in love, all these people?" There's twenty names on the list and she nods. "This will take _years_."

She barely pulls a face, "You have years Robert."

He frowns at her, _groans_ , and his wings still itch.

 

  
_Nine years since:_

 

Robert slides down the golden pole with easy, lands on his feet as always and feels Leyla's eyes on him.

She's telling him off for sliding down the pole when he should be thankful he's got wings.

He isn't thankful at all though. In fact, he's still a little fuming about his situation.

But he's had nearly a decade to get passed it.

"Wings are over-rated, trust me." He says, shakes his head with a sense of confidence he didn't know he still had. She smiles, laughs even and then he's tilting his head. "Anyway, what is it you wanted?"

He's been _summoned_ and he doesn't take kindly to that.

Not when his 'job' hardly involves him being up here at all.

He spends most of his time in the clouds, just below this place, sitting there and idly watching his people go about their lives.

He's quite proud of himself actually.

He's just set a girl up, someone who lives in his village, with a bloke who she's been in love with for years.

Gennie and Nikhil.

It sounds nice when you say it aloud, and even he had to admit, pulling back on his arrow, watching Nikhil try to fight through his awkwardness and just _kiss_ Gennie, well -

He had a smile on his face.

Maybe, just maybe this whole Cupid shit actually had managed to melt the frost over his heart.

Just maybe.

Leyla frowns at him, blinks for a second and then smiles. "Oh. I don't know - she just wanted to see you."

She, is the Goddess of love herself, the woman who gave him his wings in the first place, all those flipping years ago.

He knows her know, knows her to be called Clarissa.

He rolls his eyes, "What have I done now?" He's asking, feels some sort of stern word coming and can guess why.

It's probably about messing around with the Angels, getting their pretty little lilac feathers caught up in his.

Leyla shrugs, and he walks towards Claricia's door. He has to squint because of the brightness, he still hasn't got over that, not even after all this time.

"Robert." Clarissa's voice is warm, levelled with a brightness and she smiles as he sits beside her. "Gennie and Nikhil, they make quite the match don't they?"

Robert nods, rolls his eyes a little.

Because _yeah_ , he won't deny that his wings always seem to turn a musky green at the tips nowadays because of how all the love makes him feel.

Because he gets to _watch_ people fall madly in love, he gets to _know_ that he'll never ever get to have that feeling again.

And well, he's only human.

(Well, not anymore but _still_.)

"It must hurt." Clarissa sympathises with him, tends to pity him probably more than she should.

And Robert hates taking it, but he's hardly in the position not to.

Not when he's lonely, _all_ the time.

"I didn't used to care." He shrugs, and he's back to being a nineteen year old. He isn't caring about who he shoots, who they suddenly fall in to the arms of. The first few people on his list took a matter of months.

Now though, Gennie's taken over two years.

Now, he freaks them out, talks to them, tells them that he's their very own Cupid and gets over how shocked they seem because he's hardly the poster boy for a mythological God but -

Hey ho.

He's delicate now, he _cares_ now that it's nearly over.

"You were only young then." She tells him, stands and her hands touch the ground, make gardens grow through her feet within seconds. "It's different now." She supposes.

Robert stays silent, doesn't know what to say until she turns towards him.

"Anyway, I wanted to speak to you because, well, you've only got one name left. One more soul." She's always talking about souls and Robert always rolls his eyes.

He's giddy with excitement though, because after this, well, that's _it_.

The condition, he has long since learnt, is that after he helps all the people on his list find the loves of their lives or something dramatic like that - he gets to become mortal again.

Gets to be a real boy.

"I know." Robert smiles as he thinks about it, just _one more_.

Only Clarissa doesn't seem to share his excitement, her gold dress shakes a little as she walks towards him. "It'll be the hardest one yet Robert. For so - so many reasons." She's vague and it's annoying.

"Why's that then?"

Because they couldn't be as hard as Bob Hope. The amount of flipping arrows he's had to receive was a joke.

"This one, he's a sensitive soul." Clarissa's hands falls towards the grass and a butterfly lands against her knuckle. "He'll test you."

And oh, _great_.

Robert tries to remember the boy's name, and it takes him a while but he _does_.

"Aaron? Aaron -"

" _Dingle_."

And, not another one.

His face says it all. "Great." He blinks before sighing hard. "And the whole cousin thing is off limits?" He half jokes.

Clarissa is never impressed when he jokes, but he he starts laughing anyway.

He'd never seen him before, heard Gennie tell him about her tear away nephew a few times but he supposes putting a name to the face will be different.

"Right. Well, I best be off -" Robert waves a hand up and feels this surge of wind pull him back towards the goddess.

"You should know a few things before you see him."

And she tells him things which make him ache.

She tells him about his _dad_ , about a heartache he's getting over.

And suddenly Aaron Dingle is the most problematic fallen soul he's ever had to try and save.

"And does he want to fall in love?"

There's _that_ ,

Aaron Dingle doesn't even _want_ to fall in love.

Apparently, Clarissa just believes he deserves someone to love him, to say.

"Better get more arrows then."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robert meets the infamous aaron dingle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little early valentine's day gift <3

 

Angels are always circling the village, they're mostly there to keep watch but others like to sit and watch Robert's handiwork for him.

"Robert!" He hears his name as he comes floating down from the clouds like a pro. When he looks up, Tilly is calling him over, her soft lilac wings engulf him suddenly and he tries to prize himself away only -

Gennie's kissing Nikhil and they're walking down the street, hand in hand.

It makes him smile a little.

"Isn't it _beautiful_?" Tilly's a young sweet angel, she hasn't seen much horror of earthly life yet and he doesn't want to be the one to rip her happy thoughts from her.

So he smiles down at his work and then turns towards David.

It had been quite the pleasure to shoot an arrow at his back, watch him pull it out in a daze and then pluck up the courage to tell Alicia that he loved her.

That had been an achievement.

Especially now they're still happy.

Robert's walking down the village, a soft glow about him as he watches the world go passed him.

That's when he's nearly knocked off his feet by a certain someone.

A certain Aaron fucking Dingle.

He pushes passed what he obviously thinks is absolutely air and Robert catches flight, watches Aaron storm towards the back room of the pub in a huff.

"Why me?" He groans, looks up towards the sky and curses the fact that he gets this stupid ridiculous job.

And then he gets over himself and follows Aaron inside, he doesn't like going into the Woolpack.

Because Victoria works there.

And Andy drinks there.

(Thank God he's fucked off to Spain for a while.)

And they tease him all the fucking time about being Cupid.

They're awful twats.

Well Vic isn't, but _Andy_ -

He'd been relived when he realised that Robert wasn't _dead_ of sorts after he nearly killed him. But then he was the brother with wings and that was even worse.

Vic sights him instantly, "Robert?" She sees him, family members _see_ him, no one else.

"Can't stay long. I'm after Aaron."

Her face becomes ridiculously animated, "Not to do your bow and arrow thing?" She's asking, almost like she doesn't even want to think that and Robert rolls his eyes.

"Sort of the idea of me being Cupid Vic." He pushes passed her, walks through the back but she follows, and she's _quick_.

"No! Look, he's - he'll _hate_ you trying to do anything with him." She's adamant and she's usually right, but he doesn't want to listen to her warnings.

So he doesn't.

Instead he bursts through the door and finds Aaron playing video games, earphones in, world seemingly shut out.

He's older than Robert thought he was, has blue pools for eyes and thick curly hair which is being hidden under mounds of sleek gel.

He's got awfully hunched shoulders and has red marks etched over his knuckles.

Robert's eyes flicker, and he feels a _whisper_ , it happens when the Angels want to communicate with him.

They tell him that Aaron's a self harmer and Robert physically winces before blowing a small breath and rubbing at the golden chain around his neck.

It makes him visible to humans and Aaron -

He nearly _jumps_ out of his flipping skin.

He stands, and his earphones fall down towards the sofa and his eyes are wide and alert.

"What the -"

Robert huffs, he's been here about a billion times and he's so thankful that this is the last surprise appearance of his.

"Yeah. The wings freaked me out for the first time too." Robert says dryly, there's no point trying to calm a human anymore, especially not one as volatile as Aaron anyway.

He just lets the younger man stare at him, up and down and up and down and then he's shaking his head. "Am I dreaming?"

Robert sighs. "Nope. Just in need of my assistance it seems."

And Aaron gulps hard. He's heard about Angels, every little village has them, this sleepy one apparently has some watching over them.

He also knows that some have their own private ones.

The ones who need the _most_ help in life and he doesn't want this to mean he's fallen into that hapless category.

Only, this man in front of him, with his pale skin, bright freckles, blonde mop of hair, he seems to be here for him.

"Assistance in what?" Robert sighs, he's already sick of the defensive attitude and it's been all of five minutes. "I don't need me my own private Angel -"

"Well good. Because I'm not one." And this is the part where he drops the clanger. "I'm - well, I'm Cupid."

See.

Usually, when he says that, he gets a frown, a 'can you repeat that?', even the odd 'where are the cameras?'

But he hasn't ever had _this_.

Aaron literally picks him up off the floor and slams him against the wall hard, like it's light work or something.

Robert is powerless for a second and Aaron's just holding him by his shirt, frowning.

"Leave me alone!" Aaron's shouting, something black pouring from his stomach because he knows what this is about, he believes that this twat is actually come to save him from his loneliness, his misery and he _hates_ him.

" _Woah_!" The tips of Robert's wings turn red and he frowns. "Are you off your head? I'm here to _help_ you, and this is what I get."

He almost can't quite believe it.

Kerry practically fell at his feet when he told her that he was going to help her find the love of her life.

It just so happened to be _Dan_ but - at least she was thankful.

Aaron's just -

"Help? I don't want your help. I don't _need_ your help." Aaron doesn't want to cry over this idiot, but it takes about three seconds before there's tears in his eyes. "Don't you get it?"

Robert rolls his eyes. "Not what the God's say."

And oh well, that just makes Aaron angrier and it takes Vic running in to make Aaron let go of him.

She's shouting, not at Aaron, at _Robert_.

"What? You are kidding. I'm trying to -"

Vic shakes her head in such a condescending way that he almost boils over. "Rob, just go."

And he does, _gladly_.

Because Aaron Dingle is a flipping maniac.

 

~*~

 

He reports back, has to keep a diary of sorts of his progress on each person he's helped.

He writes about Gennie first, how happy he felt to see _her_ happy. It's times like these where he wishes he could still talk to her, something he doesn't have the luxury of doing anymore.

Once the arrow's fired, the bond becomes tangled, _fizzles_ and there's no going back.

He writes about seeing David briefly as well, and then he's having to write about Aaron.

He doesn't _want_ to. He hardly writes anything down.

Just,

Grumpy Git.

He underlines it three times, smirks at the page and then Clarissa is by his shoulder.

"I told you he'd be difficult." She says, and she's almost singing as she speaks, "But you have to patient, he's sensitive."

"Sensitive?" Robert almost can't believe her choice of words. "He had me pinned up against the wall. Some of my feathers fell out."

He's hardly attached to them but _still_.

Clarissa smiles, she's nearly laughing and Robert hates this world. He hates how this is practically Hell anyway.

He'd probably be better there.

"Keep trying." She urges, insists.

Only Robert can't think of anything worse, he folds his arms over, pouts, sighs hard and watches the village _live_.

He sees people come and go and night creep in.

The Angels sleep when night falls, well most of them do.

Some of them keep watch, the older ones. They sit back and watch the stars and then the village at the same time.

It makes Robert feel out of place as he rests close, wings flapping softly and his eyes fixed on the main road.

He keeps looking down, until he sees Aaron walking from the bus stop to the Woolpack.

He must live there, Robert whispers to himself.

He wants to close his eyes, rest himself, only he doesn't. Because he needs to do this, he needs to get passed how ridiculously _rude_ Aaron is, and make him fall in love.

When he _does_ , he'll be happy and Robert will be rid of his wings.

He'll be _human_ again.

Thank _God_.

The thought makes Robert follow Aaron towards his room. And it feels invasive and wrong, so he doesn't allow Aaron to see him.

He just stares at him laying in bed, and then he hears him _crying_.

There's a picture of a man on his phone, and he keeps replacing this recording.

Over and over and over and over again.

Robert winces, sees that vulnerable, _sensitive_ boy that Clarissa and Vic warned him about.

He's curled up, covers thrown over him and so very alone.

Missing the boyfriend he killed out of love.

Robert thinks the boyfriend took all the love Aaron ever had, with him.

Robert turns to leave, wants to leave him alone but then -

"I told you to leave me alone." Robert pauses, and he turns slowly as Aaron looks at him.

"I -" Robert hasn't touched the chain, this hasn't happened before and he doesn't know what to say.

"You left a trail." Aaron sniffs, looks towards his floor and Robert jumps as he sees his feathers on the floor.

They don't usually fall so easily.

It makes him confused suddenly and he just stares at the boy before Aaron's wiping at his eyes and pulling his knees towards his chest.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Robert's trying the soft sort of approach, hangs by the bed and feels Aaron's sadness pour between them.

Aaron just stares back. "You didn't." He admits, and he's staring at this man. At this _Angel_ or whatever, and he's got about a million freckles. "It was everything else." He shrugs, shuffles on the bed and looks towards the space he's created.

Robert takes it as a sign, slowly sits and Aaron's wiping at his tears again.

"My very own Cupid?" Aaron says dryly, can't breathe right as Robert stares right at him. "Look, I don't know who sent you, but I'm not ready for anything."

Robert feels a kick in his stomach. "Okay." He says. "I'll be patient." He says delicately and Aaron seems so grateful.

"Your wings? They're - you're not what I expected." Aaron admits, after a few minutes of silence.

Robert smirks. He's used to being a surprise. "Yeah, they're not pristine white are they?" He stands, and Aaron looks the colour.

"Grey?" Aaron says, blinks quickly.

Robert nods.

They represent the lightness and the darkness of his soul.

He doesn't tell Aaron that.

"Sorry, if I hurt you." Aaron's such a small little soul, Robert _sees_ that. "I didn't mean to. I hurt a lot of people."

Robert smiles faintly. "I'm not most people though am I? I'm Cupid. And like it or not, you're going to fall in love Aaron Dingle."

It's said in jest, and Aaron pulls a face before wiping his eyes and pulling the covers back over himself.

"It'll get easier." Robert says heavily.

And then he's going.

He's writing some more notes in his diary.

' _Aaron cries a lot. That's not nice.'_

And then he goes to sleep, soft and sound against a cloud.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the response to the first chapter was amazing and so unexpected so thank you all so much!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaron struggles on an anniversary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for all the support! this chapter discusses jackson's death - just warning you!

 

So Robert realises quite quickly that Aaron's some sort of Jekhyl and Hyde.

He's angry and volatile whilst the sun is up and then lonely and sad when the moon takes her place.

And it's probably ridiculously exhausting.

He watches him work in the garage, decides that he'll settle up in the clouds and just sort of silently stalk.

Aaron's working with his uncle, and Robert scowls down at him, turns the cloud he's on almost black because Cain Dingle is just infuriating.

He's had loves in his life but he always used to throw him away.

And now Moira's lost John and he can't pull out his arrow for him.

He doesn't even want to, because someone as ridiculous as Cain doesn't deserve everlasting love.

"Oi." Robert hears Cain's voice. "You alright, seem stuck in your head?"

Aaron drops the spanner, and he tells Cain he's fine when he isn't.

"I just - well, I know what today is."

And of course Cain knows.

Everyone probably does.

Aaron rolls his eyes and shrugs. "Just any other day." He mumbles and Robert feels a feather drop.

It falls right on the bonnet of the car Aaron's working on and he's _embarrassed_.

Especially when Aaron looks up towards the sky like he wants to throttle him.

"Do one." Aaron mumbles, shakes his head and gets back to work.

Robert doesn't 'do one' though, he keeps watching over him.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's quite the methodical worker when he's not crashing things about like a mad man.

Robert plays with his hands, bored, and wonders how he's going to go about setting Aaron up with anyone.

He's gay.

And that's not exactly a problem in and of itself. But it _does_ make things that little bit more difficult in a sleepy little village with over 50% of the population completely past it.

And _not_ in to guys at all.

But, almost as if luck would have it,

Some geeky looking boy, wearing a red jumper and jeans, approaches the place and Robert swoops down lower to hear.

"Alright?" Aaron barely raises his head.

But Finn speaks. "Uh, yeah. Well. Ross wanted to see if the car was done. I told him I'd - have a look. To see. You know, if it was done."

Robert almost laughs, picks up on all the pink hues around the boy's head and well if he wasn't still that little bit of a dick, he'd find this adorable.

Only Aaron doesn't.

"Uh, no it ain't. Sorry. I'll drop the keys round later." It's not like he doesn't want to be around him, but -

Yeah actually, he just doesn't want to be around him.

Robert leans in even closer and then sighs as the specky lad walks away. He instantly rubs over his chain and lands down on his feet.

Aaron doesn't even flinch and that's weird.

"What? I knew you were watching me like some -"

Robert frowns. "Urgh, don't make it pervy." And _shit_ , he knows his mistake almost immediately and his eyes widen. "Oh, God I'm sorry I -"

Aaron feels it all suddenly, drops his spanner and starts marching up the road.

Robert's gone and flicked that switch. Again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -"

Only Aaron just keeps walking, skin prickling a little because of course his magical Angel person _thing_ knows about Gordon.

And that's brilliant.

Aaron manages to get himself all the way into his room by the time Robert's flown there.

He's sitting by the window and Robert gently watches over him. He's trying to be sensitive with the kid, he really is.

"We don't ever talk about that." Aaron demands.

Robert nods his head, when in reality, he wants to tell Aaron that his feeling of worthlessness stems right back to _him_. And the minute he deals with that, he'll be able to find love again.

"Understood." Robert raises a hand up and then gulps hard. "For what it's worth though, I'm so sorry."

Aaron looks up at him, and sees a sincerity in his eyes which he thinks is rare to find.

"Thanks." He says, uncomfortable suddenly.

Robert picks up on it and then tries to make things lighter. "So, who was that boy at the garage?"

And for a second, Aaron's forgotten why Robert's here in the first place.

He instantly rolls his eyes. "No one. Just - just Finn."

Robert frowns. "I'm sure he isn't 'no one'?" He tries to pick up on the name but nothing comes through.

Aaron sighs. "Trust me. He's -"

"Clearly got a crush on you or something. Don't you think -"

"Maybe because I fucked him a few weeks ago."

And well,

This could be easier than Robert thought.

He tries to hide his smirk, look past Aaron's lack of eloquence.

And when he _does_ ,

"Oh. Well, uh - that's progress." Because it is, because all Aaron seems to do is mope around about his ex.

Aaron scoffs. "No it isn't. My best mate just got out of prison, we were getting bladdered and - Finn was there. So we had sex." He winces, because it was ridiculous of him and he _hates_ himself.

Robert plays with the hem of his leather jacket and frowns. "Must have been something though -"

Only Aaron's eyes go vacant.

"Meant _nothing_. The - first person since Jackson died, meant absolutely _nothing_."

And that must be shit.

But, Robert just wants to shake the boy.

He needs to just try, he isn't trying at all.

"Aaron, you made it mean nothing. Doesn't mean it couldn't have been _something_." Robert waves a hand out and suddenly Aaron's telling him to fuck off and everything always goes back to this.

Aaron doesn't _want_ his help.

"I know you think you're not ready for this, but Finn seems nice, and the God's up there think you're special enough to get all this attention and -"

Aaron stands, his blue jumper is pulled over his hands and he looks about ten as he starts to cry.

And the sun is still up so this is new.

"I don't want _attention_. I just want to be left alone."

Maybe so, Robert thinks, but -

"Look. You falling in love with your soul mate or whatever, that's a simple necessity. It's not conditional to anything okay? It just _has_ to happen."

Aaron just stares at him, suddenly lost in his ridiculousness. "Alright, _Plato_." He pushes past him, heads for the stairs and okay Robert knows you shouldn't really touch mortals because it fucks things up a little, _somehow_ but -

He pulls Aaron's arm.

Something static surges through them and Aaron winces in pain. "You're mental!" He's shouting and then Chas is coming out of her room.

She can see him, and he isn't quick enough to rub at his chain so,

Well this is just great.

"You're - Robert Sugden, you're dead."

Aaron swipes his head, he hasn't heard what his name is yet. He's not even addressed him like that yet and -

"Sugden? As in, Vic?" Aaron asks and Robert nods.

Chas is still confused but he doesn't really give a shit.

Aaron can fill her in later.

"Look, can you just come back inside and -"

"Inside?" Chas' eyes widen. "You and him?" She's asking Aaron and _God_ that isn't even possible.

Aaron pulls a face. "What? No. I - I'm, he's my -"

"Cupid." Robert says bluntly. "Hence the wings." He sighs, waves a hand up.

Then Chas laughs. "You have to be kidding?" She says, a smile on her face which suddenly falls.

She looks terrified, and then Aaron's bolting.

Robert tries to follow him but Chas tells him not to.

"Not today." Chas says, levelling her voice. "It's his anniversary today."

And Robert doesn't need to have to think about who she's talking about.

He really doesn't.

 

~*~

 

Robert waits until the moon's out, follows Aaron towards the cemetery and sees him sitting by Jackson's grave.

He's got a couple of cans out and he pours one over the headstone.

"Still miss you loads." Aaron tries to hold everything back, he really does but he almost can't.

He's almost breaking and then -

A grey feather falls on his shoulder and he wipes at his face.

"Sorry. I just wanted to see where you'd gone." Robert stumbles.

Aaron doesn't even look at him. "It's been a whole year." He says. "Since, since what happened."

Since I killed him.

Robert knows about it, Clarissa told him, and it still makes something feel lodged in his chest.

It must have been terrifying.

Robert grounds down to his feet, because it makes him feel normal and then he sighs.

"Was he - uh - your age?" Robert's trying, he really is.

Aaron frowns, pulls his hoodie over him and shudders. "Don't act like you care. You want me to forget him. Erase him. Like he never existed."

Robert sighs. "That's not what I'm doing." He says. "I'm trying to help you. Not get over it but -"

"How many times!" Aaron shouts. He really shouts. "I don't want to get over anything, not with your help anyway. You're supposed to be _dead_ , no one wants you round here so just leave us alone!"

And the ground shakes, and Robert flys up before Aaron can say anything else.

_'I think Jackson was his special person. I also think he hates me.'_

He writes that night, on the comfort of a cloud.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to go up earlier this week but ... a little thing called the ROBRON REUNION got in the way and i sort of lost my way in life lmao. 
> 
> sorry for the delay and happy reading!

 

He's decided that Aaron doesn't need to see him for _at least_ a week.

He doesn't even watch over him.

Instead he busies himself with the Angels helping the children of the village.

They're always watching over Noah.

Someone has to.

It's been a few days since he's looked down on Aaron, but something almost tells him he should.

It's weird, he gets some sort of buzz flowing through him and he tries to ignore it as best he can.

But then Tilly is telling him that she's been watching Aaron for him.

"He's been sad." She says, a pout on her face. "His heart is sorry."

And well.

He was a rude dick wasn't he?

Robert didn't cry his eyes out or anything but he's not ashamed to admit that hearing all this talk about him being dead made him feel like shit.

"Is it now." Robert mumbles, plays with the hem of this leather jacket and then pulls his navy jumper down. "Shame his face doesn't know that yet."

She tuts and her feathers cascade to the clouds.

"Robert! Why don't you just try and -"

"No point." He says plainly. "He's not ready."

And he isn't. It's been a whole year and Aaron's still crying into his phone and listening to Jackson bang on about having so much to live for or something like that.

"Just stop sulking." Tilly tells him, wings flapping a little gently as she leaves him.  
"He's your last one, remember?"

And well, maybe he _can_ go down and see if Aaron's alright.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's his usual self, mopping about in the garage and slamming things too loudly.

Robert watches him, hands in his pockets as he sees the way Aaron stretches his body over and then pulls back in frustration. He's wearing blue overalls and boots and maybe Robert's being dramatic but he seems to have grown out his beard a little since he saw him last.

Cain's there one minute and gone the next and Robert decides that he might as well rub at the chain.

He does, and his feet slam against the gravel with impact.

Aaron instantly raises his head and his eyes flicker. "Robert?"

Robert nods.

Aaron places his tool down and leans against the bonnet. "Didn't think you'd be here." He says and Robert gulps.

"Not up to me you know? It's up to the Gods." He shrugs and Aaron looks away.   
"Maybe this wasn't a good idea."

Because things are cold.

And Aaron doesn't even disagree.

So Robert flies away.

And he goes to the pub instead.

Vic's there, she's behind the bar and she's laughing about something her idiotic husband is saying.

Adam Barton.

He's always been annoyed about the fact that he wasn't her Cupid. He still is, especially when Adam looks at his wings funny.

"Haven't seen you for ages." Vic actually looks pleased to see him and he blushes just slightly.

"Yeah well. Aaron's not really welcomed me here has he." He taps at the bar and realises that he's still visible to the whole pub so when Chas walks by, she stares at him like she still can't believe.

He wants to tell her to get a grip.

He doesn't.

"Aaron just needs time." Vic says and Chas agrees with her.

"He wants to get out there again, I know it." Chas says, and then she's pulling a face. "Although you being the one to help him, where's the luck in that?"

And oh,

That's nice.

Not.

Adam even scoffs. "Yikes Chas, what's he ever done to you?"

Chas scowls. "He's a love rat Adam." She waves a hand out. "You should have seen him and Andy's fights over Katie. I mean, Andy even -"

Killed him?

Robert shifts, nearly pulls away but then Aaron's coming into the room and telling her quite frankly to shut up.

Adam scoffs and Vic pulls a face and Chas shuts up.

Robert suddenly wonders why exactly this rude man deserves anything at all.

Especially from Clarissa herself.

"Just leave him alone." Aaron protests and then he's disappearing into the back and Vic is smiling proudly as he goes.

Robert smiles faintly.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's got his feet up on the table, arms crossed as he watches television.

Robert decides to just walk right in and Aaron doesn't seem to mind that much.

In fact, he turns the television off and sits up.

His hands are sweaty for a reason he doesn't know and he gulps hard. "Suppose I should apologise." He says.

And Robert suddenly wonders how long it's been since Aaron has done just that.

He frowns a little before nodding. "Suppose so."

Aaron sighs. "I'm sorry, what I said - you know, about you being dead and - I'm sorry." He is, he'd half thought that he'd see a cluster of grey feathers around him the next day.

Only he hadn't.

And that made something lodge in his chest.

Robert's eyes flicker. "Alright." He says, only Aaron really looks at him suddenly.

"No I mean it." Aaron says. "Don't take it personally. I'm just not that great of a person to be honest." He's come to terms with that.

Robert doesn't say anything, just nods and then breathes out slowly.

"Fancy going to the cricket pavilion. Haven't been there since before - well you know."

And Aaron knows.

He nods his head and Chas gives them a funny look as they go.

 

~*~

 

It's dark by the time Robert's feeling nostalgic about the wooden panels outside and he's watching Aaron smoke a cigarette.

He smirks, imagines the Angels horror to see him puffing the rotten stuff inside him.

Aaron feels Robert staring and frowns. "What?" He asks, "This frowned upon up there." He looks towards the starry sky and Robert nods.

"A little." He says, pulls a face. "I'm just jealous though, it's been ages since I smoked."

Aaron raises an eyebrow, pulls his legs towards him. "So, you - you were killed?"

He says it bluntly.

So very bluntly that suddenly Robert is bleeding out in the car again and Andy's sobbing on his shoulder.

"Yeah." Robert gets out, after trying and trying. "It's why I even got this chance." He waves at his wings and Aaron frowns.

"What do you mean?" Aaron tilts his head, puffs at the cigarette again.

Robert sighs. "They were going to send me to Hell." He's long since learnt exactly what happened.

Aaron breathes in. "What?"

Robert gulps. "Katie. What happened. Cheating on her and hurting Andy. I was rotten basically." He admits. He _can_ admit now. "But I had been _killed_ , taken pity of me 'cause of who my soul was linked to."

Aaron can see the sadness in Robert's eyes and frowns. "So, you never chose to do this." He says, eyes flickering.

Robert shakes his head. "It's punishment. I get to watch people find their soul mates, their epic loves and no one can feel that for me."

Aaron suddenly wonders if Robert's heart is frozen shut.

"You don't watch though, do you?" Aaron stamps on the cigarette and shudders against the cold. "You _intervene_." He says, frowning just a little because he doesn't know a lot, but he's heard stories.

Robert gulps hard. "It's not like that." He says, leans against the pavilion and looks at Aaron.

He's got tears in his eyes.

And, well the moon _is_ up.

"Aaron. I'm not here to put an arrow up your arse and watch you fall in love with Finn."

Aaron breaks, actually laughs and Robert feels this soft buzz flow through him.

Robert licks his lips, gulps. "The arrow, it just solidifies what's already brewing I suppose. Probably massively unethical but - don't tell Clarissa that."

"Clarissa?" Aaron asks, and Robert smiles a little as he thinks of her.

"She's sort of in charge of all things _love_ up there." Robert tries to explain.

And then they fall into this soft sort of silence, Aaron's not got tears in his eyes anymore and Robert's grateful because it's a sorry sight to see really.

Someone like Aaron is almost built to be hard faced and rude. He's a Dingle after all.

Aaron looks down at his watch. "I need to be heading back." He says, but makes no effort to move.

Because, he usually cannot stand to be around anyone like this.

Only Adam really, but that's because of how long he's known him.

But, he's okay around Robert.

He ridiculously feels almost safe.

Robert nods at him. "Okay." He says and then Aaron stands finally.

He pulls his hoodie up over his gelled hair and bites his lip.

"He was too good for me." He suddenly says and Robert frowns at him.

Aaron kicks at a stone and then sighs. "The other night, at Jackson's grave, you asked what he was like. Too good for me. There's your answer." He says, and he leaves before Robert can say anything back.

 

~*~

 

He watches over Aaron sleeping that night, not in a weird way or anything but -

He feels sorry for him for the first time.

Because thinking you weren't good enough for the man who you loved? Well Robert thinks of every single person he's ever cared about and thinks the same thing.

It makes him sad.

And then he's flying up, opening the book. He's thinking of what he can write down and he wants to write about what Aaron said to him last.

But then he thinks of something else.

_'Aaron didn't listen to Jackson's voicemail tonight.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this is still enjoyable for you, let me know what you're thinking below! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ;)

 

Robert knows Aaron a little bit now.

He'd like to think that watching him for nearly two weeks, gives him some knowledge.

There hasn't been any development though and it's not like he's on a time limit or anything but every time he sees Vic he almost cries a little because he's missing out on _really_ being with her.

Because he can't touch her, can't stay on Earth for too long either or his wings wilt and his skin pales.

He's never even stayed the night at hers.

And she's got a spare room and anything.

It makes him sad, and he's moping in the clouds until he hears someone talking to Aaron at the garage.

He's about the same height as Aaron, has black short hair and he's wearing a builder's hat.

He's a _builder_.

They can work with that.

"So how much is this gonna cost me then?" He asks and Aaron shrugs.

"Nothing." He says. "Only a quick fix." He mumbles as he looks at the van.

The guy smirks, digs a hand in his pocket. "Cheers." He ducks his head and then raises it. "I'll have to buy you a pint then."

Robert watches, almost grins.

But Aaron's eyes flicker and he can't think of anything worse.

"You're alright." He says.

"I'm working on some bloke's roof, lives close to here actually." Aaron looks at him, he looks nice, almost cocky as well.

But.

"Right." Aaron says, moves the spanner over is hand and gulps. "You should be heading back then. Now this is done."

And,

Robert could kill him.

The guy doesn't even look embarrassed. Resilient then, Robert thinks. That'll do just fine.

He laughs, takes the keys off Aaron and smiles. "Leon." He says, as a way of introducing himself. Aaron almost smiles. "I'll be at that pub over at around five. If you're around."

Aaron wants to tell him not to bank on it.

He goes though and Robert flys down with a scowl on his face.

Aaron can't quite believe how he momentarily forget that Robert is _watching_ over him.

"What?" He feigns confusion, busies himself with another motor as Robert stares at him.

"Well he wasn't ugly was he." Robert scowls.

And Aaron sort of really hates him sometimes, because he can go from being caring and actually understanding, to downright insensitive.

Aaron slams the hood of the car down. "Oh _right_ , so that means I should have pounced on him there and then?"

Robert rolls his eyes. "He liked ya, I could tell." He's almost smug and Aaron almost wants to hit him.

"Well. I don't give a toss."

Only,

"I think you might do." Robert says, and Aaron _should_ care a little. It's been a year, and he isn't expecting Aaron to marry the first bloke he sees but -

Well, he's got to start somehow and he apparently doesn't want to go back to the Rebound of Finn so ...

Aaron lifts his head, bites at his lip for a second and Robert's wings nearly take flight.

"Not. Interested." Aaron says, waves a hand up and Robert gives in.

Well, sort of.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's closing the garage up, the moon is out and his arms ache.

He hasn't seen Robert since he was doing his whole convincing act and he's thankful.

Well he is until he hears the sound of feet against the gravel and Leon is back.

He's got a slight grin on his face, yet almost looks desperate too.

"It won't start." He says, hands falling by his side.

Aaron sighs, he isn't sure if he's supposed to think this is funny or not and suddenly he's a little flustered and _shit_.

"Right. How comes?" Aaron tilts his head and Leon is closer to him now.

"Shouldn't you be the one who tells me that?" Leon asks and Aaron fights back the slightest smile.

"Yeah. Sorry, um, let me see then."

And it's just the cables.

"You're a magician." Leon says, smirks and then he's leaning against the van. "It's nearly five ain't it?" Aaron looks down. "Fancy that pint?"

And Aaron's heart beats out of his chest over and over again.

He wants to say no, he wants to say alright then.

He goes with the latter.

And Robert smirks from the clouds.

It's totally a win.

 

~*~

 

Aaron wants to hide himself away.

Because the minute he steps into the pub with someone who isn't Adam, his mum and Charity basically lose their damn minds.

Leon's a character, so he demands the attention of them almost immediately and Aaron cringes against it.

"Take it they're family?" Leon asks and Aaron nods.

And then he's sitting down as Leon brings their pints over.

That's when Robert decides to swoop down. Because he's bloody satisfied with what he's seen so far.

He rubs at his chain, and Vic comes towards him with a grin on his face.

"Aaron's looking very _cosy_ with that bloke." Vic beams, and Robert smiles.

"Looks promising." He says, tilts his head as Marlon calls her back in to the kitchen and Chas appears by his side.

She's almost trying not to smile.

"Go on, admit it. I'm helping." He's so _smug_ but he gets the right to be because well, Aaron is smiling and scratching his ear the way he does when he's nervous.

And it's _promising_.

Chas raises an eyebrow. "Maybe so." And she isn't giving anything away, he hardly expects her to.

He watches her go, watches Aaron come towards him suddenly and he smiles at him.

"So, you changed your mind then?" Robert asks and Aaron bites on his lip and pulls a face.

"His van wouldn't start." Aaron says simply. "Funny that innit?"

Robert's eyes widen. "Yeah. I mean - twice in one -"

"Almost like someone did it on _purpose_."

And Robert smirks,

"I have no idea what you're taking about." He says, _lies_ and Aaron smiles and lets him.

They stare at each other for a second, and maybe Aaron's on the brink of saying something nice but Leon calls him over and he disappears from Robert's sight.

Robert's eyes flicker and he doesn't care or anything, but well -

Leon keeps staring down at Aaron's crotch, and he's licking his lips like he's a teenager.

And he also sips beer and that's weird.

So,

_'Leon's a bit of a dick.'_

Robert writes in his book that night, but what he thinks hardly matters because he made Aaron smile and well,

Robert has no business with critiquing the chances of love.

 

~*~

 

The next day he expects at least a pat on the back for his work.

But he doesn't get one.

He frowns a little as he swoops down and ascends onto the village Main Street. Aaron's not at the garage and he sighs, turns round and walks towards the pub before halting outside the backroom.

Aaron's there, and Robert goes to run at his chain. Only he can also hear Chas' voice and God she's loud.

"I just don't bloody get it. That's all."

Robert frowns at her words.

"You and him seemed to be getting on just fine."

Robert blinks a few times, walks in slowly and Aaron's eyes are flickering, face red.

He's clearly annoyed.

He's got a hand on his hip and all sorts.

"Yeah well. Then we didn't." He flaps a hand up and Robert _hopes_ this isn't about -

"But Leon -"

And, oh great.

He hasn't seen Aaron since he was talking to Leon in the pub and they were getting on.

He'd decided to give them sort of space for a few days but now he realises that he shouldn't have.

Because Aaron's curled himself up and turned away from any chance of some happiness.

Aaron shouts, and she leaves.

She actually slams the door on her way out and it rattles Robert's bones, makes grey feathers fall to the ground.

Aaron's staring down at them, blinks once and then twice and okay _yeah_ , he might have missed having him just a little.

Robert decides to go ahead and rub at his chain and his feet land on the ground before he waves a hand out.

Aaron gulps hard. "Before you say anything, it just didn't work out." He tells him.

Robert's eyes flicker. "Hello to you too." He says before perching himself on the sofa. "So, Leon? What did he do?"

Aaron bites his lip, shrugs. "It wasn't him." He says heavily, thinks of Leon and how okay it was, until it _wasn't_.

"So, it was you?" Robert asks, hands in his leather jacket for a second before Aaron's eyes are flickering and he pulls one out and waves it around. "Aaron?"

"He was _forward_." Aaron says and then he pulls a face.

Robert feels his wings perk up and he frowns. Because Aaron can look after himself but - this dick didn't have to be awful did he?

Robert balls a hand in to a fist, thinks of Aaron's so called dad and that kettle of fish and he's suddenly guilty about not intervening with the bloke he knew seemed wrong and then -

Okay, Robert knows Aaron.

He knows him and so he can see through his words.

"There's something else." Robert says, and Aaron clearly likes this back and forth shit because he ignores Robert and storms out and he has to go and follow him.

 

~*~

 

He doesn't find him for ages, decides to give up and watch from the clouds.

He eventually slopes back home and he's sitting on his bed staring at newspaper clip outs about Jackson.

He looks so broken.

He wants to leave him to it, but _can't_.

He flys done and lands on the bed gently. Aaron can sense him in the room, always can.

He doesn't tell him to go.

Instead, he actually starts talking like he can _see_ him there.

"They found me not guilty." He shudders and Robert knows this, he sort of had to read a bit over the person he was responsible for.

He'd been cold about it, always sort of has to be. But seeing Aaron now, seeing his eyes red raw and wrinkles around his forehead, skin rough and curls long, he sees the effect of all the pain he must have gone through.

And he doesn't know what to say.

Aaron remembers it. "They said I wasn't guilty of killing him. I know I wasn't now but, then." He sighs, a hand lifts up the page of the newspaper and Robert sees Aaron's face staring at him.

He's younger than he is now.

It feels like he's aged _years_ since it happened.

" _Then_ I thought it was all my fault." Robert gulps hard, eyes flickering a little as Aaron shakes his head. "Now it's just - I feel sort of empty."

Emptiness.

It's probably why Clarissa thinks he deserved someone to help fill that heavy Jackson made hole.

Aaron's eyes are filled with tears, and he watches a grey feather fall towards the bed. He stares at it and winces, pulls his knees up towards his chest and Robert feels this softness suddenly.

It's nearly dark, the sun is setting, and Aaron's crying again.

Only this time, Robert's wings flop a little and he feels his heart tug towards Aaron.

He hates him for it.

"And I try and think about the good times we had? But it's _hard_ , and it shouldn't be." He says, and Jackson is there, and they're arguing. He's young and foolish and Aaron can't get passed all that time they wasted. "I don't want to be like this, don't want to sit here thinking about how sad things are."

Aaron moved his hand and it nearly brushes passed Robert's.

"But all I know is that he was too good for me. He was too good for the likes of me and - I'll never feel worthy of -"

Robert sort of loses it and yanks at his chin, suddenly visible to Aaron.

"Shut up." Robert tells him and Aaron's stopped crying.

Instead he sniffs and looks away.

Robert looks down at the newspapers and lifts one up. Jackson's face is there.

"Leon was a dick." Robert says finally, and Aaron raises his head.

"A bit." He agrees and then Robert smiles.

"I'm sorry, about Jackson." He says heavily. "But - he'd want you to be happy."

Aaron's heard that so many times.

"The question is, do you want yourself to be happy?" Robert asks, and Aaron doesn't say all that much.

"What sort of question is that?"

"One that I bet you have an answer for." Robert tells him, eyebrow raised. "You don't think you're worthy, and that's an issue."

Aaron sort of hates Robert.

The moon is up now and Robert's pale under it.

"I don't need a therapist." Aaron bites and Robert barks back about trying to help.

"This isn't even about Jackson is it?" Robert says suddenly, and Aaron's eyes are blown.

"What?"

"It's about _you_. You said yourself, you don't blame what happened on you. Yet you're still banging on about not being worthy and -"

"Because I'm not!" Aaron shouts, chin wobbling and all sorts and Robert stands.

He nearly loses his balance and Aaron brings a hand out, stops him from tripping and that _zap_ between them happens again.

It makes Robert shudder and Aaron pulls away.

Robert tries to get over it, looks at the stars outside and knows that he has to go.

"I need to go."

Aaron frowns, he doesn't want him to go but he does at the same time.

Robert walks towards the window and Aaron is staring at him.

"You flying out?" He almost jokes, only Robert nods.

"It's my job you know." Robert says, pulling the window up as Aaron looks confused. "Making you realise that you _are_ worthy, as soon as I do that then - then you'll be just fine."

He smiles and Aaron looks taken aback.

"Jackson was a builder too you know." Aaron waves a hand out and waits for Robert to get it.

The wind blows through the room and Robert gulps.

"Can't help but link everything back to him, and yah know, hate myself." Aaron doesn't tell people stuff like this, he doesn't tell people anything really.

But now,

He's talking to fucking Cupid who also is Aaron's friend's brother who everyone thought was dead.

Robert nods slowly. "Sorry." He says, shakes his head and sighs. "That's shit." He gulps, and Aaron nods.

"Night Robert." He says, and Robert goes.

' _I'll make Aaron realise he's worthy.'_

It's what Robert writes before he goes to sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is that a hint of jealousy i detect mr sugden? maybe ...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robert tries to help aaron face his fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter! 
> 
> pre warning for this one: discussion of gordon's trial as well as aaron's suicide attempt.

  
Clarissa wants a word with him and he momentarily thinks he's done something wrong but apparently he hasn't.

"I'm surprised. Aaron seems very open with you."

And okay, yeah Aaron is. But he supposes that he hasn't given him much choice but to spill his guts here and there.

"I'm the best." Robert says smugly, shrugs his shoulders a little. "He needs to get some confidence back, he seems to be stuck in a rut."

Okay maybe that's not the right word to use but -

"So, what's the plan?" Clarissa's walking though a field, and Robert has to bat a butterfly away from his face.

He hasn't really got a _plan_ , but -

"Erm. Convince him to go and have some fun." It's a shit plan.

Clarissa smiles nonetheless. "I think he may need to face his fears first." She says, all vague.

And Robert sighs against it.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's just tucking in to a bacon sandwich when Robert comes flouncing in.

Chas scowls at him and means it and okay so her tolerating him for all of five seconds was _only_ because Aaron was with Leon.

Noted, he thinks as she passes him and leaves them alone.

Aaron doesn't look impressed, "Alright?" He says, and it's not like he's really asking.

Robert nods. "You busy today?" And when Aaron says not really, his eyes sparkle. "Thought we'd go in to town or something, get you some bits and pieces." He knows it sounds absolutely ridiculous and Aaron picks up on it.

"Who are you? Me mum." Aaron bites down on the sandwich. "What's all this about anyway?"

Robert relents. "You. Trying to build up your confidence or whatever." Aaron doesn't say anything. "Because Leon was interested, but we all know exactly _what_ he was interested in and Finn is -"

"If I go will you stop talking?" Aaron finally gives in and Robert grins.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's literally the worst person to go shopping with in the whole world.

He huffs and puffs and points to random jumpers, looks away the minute Robert tries to show him something and then hums in response.

"Is that a 'yes' or a 'no'?" Robert frowns, arms aching because he's holding up to clothes and Aaron doesn't seem to give a shit.

He's embarrassed under the weight of how much Aaron doesn't care and then Aaron's looking at him with this sorry look on his face and he's forgiven.

"It's a -" Aaron goes to speak and then his eyes are widening and he's literally just walking out of the shop.

He keeps walking and Robert has to follow him.

"Oi!" Robert says, finds himself having to unfortunately run and then he halts as he sees Aaron standing outside the shopping centre. He's got his back against the wall and is staring down at the floor with a sorry look on his face. Robert pants. "Well that was a nice run around wasn't it?"

He huffs, chest moving up and down.

"Why couldn't you fly?" Aaron says harshly, eyes flickering a little as he looks at him.

Robert frowns. "Thought I wouldn't spot you as well." He gulps, "Didn't realise that those jumpers were so scary." He tries to make light of things and it doesn't work because Aaron just sighs. "Go on then. What happened?"

Aaron gulps, Adam's apple bobbing all over the place. "Saw Flynn."

Robert doesn't know who that is, for a second he thinks he's saying Finn but -

"Okay?" He says unsteadily, "And that's a bad thing?"

Aaron looks down, eyes blinking over and over again. "Sort of." He shrugs, "He used to know me, before Jackson died."

And Aaron thinks about it for a second, no one really still speaks to him apart from Adam. Everyone he knew before Jackson's death are just passed friends and that aches in a way he doesn't even want to talk about.

Jackson is a past life now and seeing Flynn just going about his business felt like someone had thrown cold water over him and told him to realise how much things are just _able_ to keep going.

Robert closes his eyes and leans against the wall. "Shit." He says and Aaron gulps.

"Yep." He says, and then he's moving again, he's walking and walking and this time Robert takes flight and follows him all the way until he sees this big court building.

He takes a guess, swoops down and Aaron squints up at the building. "Came 'ere first 'cause of Gordon. Then Jackson." He's ill suddenly, and he can fill the memories just _swirl_ through him over and over and over again.

He can't breathe and Robert stands closer to him.

"You're petrified." Robert tells him and usually Aaron would wallop someone for trying to _tell_ him how he feels but -

Robert just says it differently than he's used to.

"It's only a building Aaron." Robert suddenly stands in front of Aaron and the younger man looks away a little.

The wind picks up and the rain starts.

Aaron looks up. "Your wings? Will they get wet or -"

Gennie had thought the same thing, it was the concern which had made him like her properly.

Robert smiles a little too warmly than he usually wants to. "I'll be alright." He says before looking towards the court. "We could always stay in here, 'till it calms down."

Aaron thinks Robert's mental.

And then he thinks he's trying to help him face his fears.

"I don't ..." Aaron tries to breathe, counts to three and then Robert's walking in without him.

"I'm not going anywhere." Robert shrugs, as he turns around and Aaron -

He follows him.

 

~*~

 

About a million memories hit him as he walks up the stairs.

He's running out sobbing because his dad is winning the jury round. And then his mum is cheering like mad because he's got eighteen whole years.

And then _Jackson_.

He's not guilty.

He feels like he wants to die.

Robert watches Aaron look around the place in wonder, tears already spilling out from his eyes.

"I don't want to be here." Aaron tells Robert suddenly, holds his head. "There's -" he shudders. "There's too many memories here."

He winces under it all, his heart always gets hurt here.

"You haven't dealt with any of them Aaron." Robert tells him, tries to be kind.

He really really tries and maybe that's why Aaron decides to stay. He shuffles towards a wooden bench and maybe this is the heart to heart him and Aaron are going to have.

"I met Jackson just after my dad was sent down." Aaron tells Robert, whispers gently. "My head was all over the place and I didn't want to be gay. Because I thought he made me like this."

Robert hears it all, wants to stop Aaron from saying anything else that will make him cry.

It's hurting Robert and it shouldn't be.

"I can't get over Jackson because he was supposed to be my fresh start." Aaron says, frowns and he can't breathe because Jackson was _good_ , so good and he was a nightmare.

He didn't deserve him.

"I know, Aaron, I'm sorry -"

"No you don't _know_." Aaron snaps and he doesn't mean any of it but - "You're just some jumped up Cupid who can't wait to make me forget all about him."

And _God_ , Robert doesn't want to go here.

But Aaron clearly _does_.

"And now you've tried to bring me back _here_ , rope me in." Aaron hisses and bites and then he's marching away and Robert stays where he is.

Sighs hard.

 

~*~

 

Robert gives Aaron _space_ and it's become the most popular phrase of his at the moment.

Vic and Adam are up for keeping him company and he's not sure if he's supposed to be thankful or not but Adam's literally _full_ of explanations over how all over the place Aaron still is.

"He's still tryna deal with his dad, and now Jackson's on his mind as well." Adam says, hand around his pint and his breathing shallow.

Robert _gets_ that, he just wants Aaron to talk to him about it so they can get _passed_ it.

He tells Adam about the court visit and he hardens.

"Well, you shouldn't have done that." He says, frowns. "That would have just fucked him up even more."

And okay, Robert knows it wasn't the best idea but -

"That's your problem." Robert tells him, and then Vic joins them. "And yours. You treat 'im like he's five."

He doesn't know where any of this is coming from but it won't stop.

"You keep banging on about him being sensitive and vulnerable, but he's _fine_. He's actually quite a laugh when he wants to be."

Vic pulls a face and Adam goes to speak but Robert waves a hand out and tells him to shut up.

"No. Who do you think you are? You've known him for all of five minutes. I'm his best mate." Adam stands, pathetically tries to growl some dominance out and Robert gets it. He's _jealous_.

And it's ridiculous.

"Calm down Ad." Vic says and Robert smirks.

"Yeah _Ad_ , pipe down." He says, smiles and then Adam's off and Vic is shaking her head at him.

And he sees Aaron staring at him from the back room.

His smug smile falls and he's a twat again.

The Twat again.

"Nice one." Vic says. "You're supposed to be helping."

 

~*~

 

Aaron's sorry as soon as he storms off. He needs to stop doing that.

But Robert also needs to stop being a smug shit.

That would help.

He's decided to go to bed at half eight and doesn't expect anyone to be knocking on his door.

Only Robert is standing there and Aaron doesn't want to let him in.

"You finished being horrible to my best mate now?"

Robert gulps. He expected that.

"You ran off, I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Robert reasons, and Aaron moves away from the door.

He lets Robert in and sits down on his bed.

"I'm sorry." Robert says, Adam's annoyingly in his head telling him that he's pushing Aaron when he shouldn't be. He should just be thankful that he tells him the very little he does.

Aaron's eyes flicker, he wasn't expecting that and sort of doesn't know what to say.

Robert's standing near the bed, wings small against his back like he's purposely keeping them down. Aaron suddenly wonders if they droop when he's sad.

Then he tells himself to get a grip.

"I shouldn't have pushed you. You're right, I've got no idea how dark things got for you."

He doesn't, he knows dates and times but not _feelings_.

He usually doesn't want to go that _deep_ with his person, but he almost can't stop himself.

He feels like he's falling off a cliff and Aaron is _letting_ him.

So is Clarissa.

"I tried to top myself." Aaron whispers, and that brings instant tears down his face.

One, two and then they _cascade_ and he can't stop himself.

Robert can't even think. All he knows is that trying to kill yourself is probably not something that'll get you favours with the likes of Clarissa, and yet -

Here he is.

"In the garage. After my dad's trial. After I'd met Jackson. I didn't want to be gay so I tried to end it all." Aaron's shuddering, looks like a _mess_ and the small lamp in his room shines an amber glow over everything.

It should be making everything softer but it adds redness and rawness to the room and makes Robert want to turn away.

He's _never_ had this with anyone, this sort of conversation.

No one's ever been through this much before.

"Fuck." He says, a hand is on his mouth before he can say anything else.

Aaron frowns. "It's all pretty shit." He says lightly and then more tears.

And they don't seem to stop for anything.

"Jackson." He breathes steadily. "He was my _fresh start_ , and then I had to give him up." He flops a hand down and Robert can't help it.

He comes towards him, he has a hand placed down on the bed and he hopes Robert knows how much that means, how much it's a sign that he's attempting to try and settle him.

Aaron looks down at the hand, large, unassuming, belonging to an Angel or whatever Robert wants to pass himself off as nowadays.

He looks sad, he looks sorry him.

"I'm so sorry." Robert says, eyes falling soft and gentle suddenly. "Aaron, you're -"

" _He_ made me feel like I wasn't enough, and I still wasn't enough - because he wanted to die." Aaron curls himself up, shudders as he remembers his last wish.

Robert frowns suddenly. "That was nothing to do with you." He stresses, and then Aaron's telling him that he was never good enough anyway and Robert sighs. "You _were_ enough Aaron." He almost shouts and Aaron just stares at him all wide eyed and unsure.

"You barely know me." Aaron tells Robert, wills himself not to think too much of the comment.

Robert feels like an idiot. "I know you enough." He decides and Aaron doesn't say anything back.

He just cries, and Robert suddenly leans closer towards him and catches a tear on his finger.

Then this _zap_ happens and it shocks his whole body.

"Sorry." Robert says sheepishly. "Not supposed to touch." He gulps hard. "Some sort of barrier thingy." He explains and Aaron smiles for like the first time in what seems like years.

"It's okay." He whispers, and he sees a pinkness at the tips of Robert's wings.

It's stupidly endearing.

They just keep staring at each other until Aaron calms down and he's not crying anymore.

Robert looks outside and tuts. "I have to go." He says and he stands before hesitating. "Aaron, don't -"

Aaron drops his head. "I ain't gonna do anything." He says.

Because, Robert standing here makes him not want to do anything like that.

Robert's shoulders relax and show his relief.

And then he's gone, waving a hand out and thinking about how _much_ Aaron's gone through.

He gets why Clarissa wants him to find love now.

After the years he's had, all he's had to put with him.

_'Aaron is the bravest person in the world.'_

He writes in his book, eyes flickering and a faint smile on his face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're still enjoying!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron puts himself back on the market and things take a serious turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one!

 

Aaron's wearing one of Robert's jumpers - well _no_ not one of _his_ jumpers but one that he picked out for him when he was trying to boost his confidence.

It makes Aaron shake his head and almost laugh at how hilarious it is when Robert tries to be nice.

He's well aware that no one sees Cupid like this and doesn't know what to think about it.

He doesn't like to dwell.

That makes things odd.

"You look good." His mum's commenting because she can't help herself. He smiles at her awkwardly and he feels lighter.

It's odd but crying on Robert for about the millionth time actually helped.

Robert helped him dig deep and finding the root of all his pain was helping him try and overcome it all.

It's been a few days since and Robert hasn't been as vigilant as he was before.

He's probably been watching him from the clouds.

"Do I?" Aaron asks, almost teases and then he sighs. "I've stopped smoking." And Chas is impressed.

"Wow." She's smirking as she pulls a pint.

"What?" Aaron asks, confused.

"Robert Sugden really is your guardian angel isn't he?"

And Aaron nearly smiles. "He's Cupid. And he's hardly helped me out on that front has he?"

Chas' shoulders fall. "Not yet no." She says, glum all of a sudden and Aaron rolls his eyes at how dramatic she is.

He hasn't thought about seeing any blokes just yet.

He sort of likes the way things are for the first time in months.

And that's progress.

 

~*~

 

Robert notices that Aaron's head is being held a little higher and he smiles at him as he comes swooping down.

"You've actually got a slight smile on your face. You feeling alright?" Robert asks, hands in his leather jacket pockets and a smirk on his face.

Aaron's a little startled and he has to try and stop his coffee falling down him as he jumps.

"Jesus." Aaron hisses and Bob asks if he's alright. "I would be if I wasn't crept up on." He shakes his head and Bob just gives him a funny look before giving him some tissues and turning away.

Robert looks at Bob and smiles faintly before he follows Aaron until he's outside.

"Bob can't see me you know?" He tells Aaron, and they sort of comfortably walk side by side until they're sitting on the bench opposite David's shop.

Aaron frowns, sips at his coffee. "What do you mean?"

Robert draws out an arrow from his jeans and it's tiny, smaller than Aaron ever expected it to be.

Robert almost reads his mind. "They're not like the ones in movies. These are the most powerful arrows. The small ones." He holds it up and then gets back to answering Aaron's question. "Once I shoot you with this bad boy, I become invisible."

It sounds so harsh.

"Oh. Shit." Aaron says and then he's looking at Robert and seeing how his hair is growing out a little. He looks cold, freckles all over his face are golden and dazzling. "You ever miss the people you help?"

Robert thinks. He's not as heartless as he was before. "Some." He says, looks at Aaron and shrugs. "But I get to still look down on them. I get to see them happy."

Aaron thinks Robert should be smiling but he isn't. "What about you? Are you -"

Robert shakes his head.

"Enough about me. Looks like you're wearing a nice new jumper and I think it deserves a night out."

Aaron scoffs. "I don't." He says.

"Shame your thoughts are invalid then." Robert smirks, and Aaron smiles against it because he knows it doesn't go deep.

Robert wiped his tears away the night before.

He is a good egg.

"I'll pick you up at six." Robert says, stands and starts flying up.

"Whatever Cupid." Aaron bites, fights back a smile.

 

~*~

 

He's definitely not wearing cologne, that's what he's telling his mum.

But maybe he is.

Just a little.

And he's not even sure why he's making an effort but he is.

He's going out and he's convincing himself that it'll be fine. He'll be fine.

"You look charming." Chas is saying, eyeing him up and smiling. "Make all the boys fall to their feet you!" And she's so proud of him that he almost aches.

"Or their knees. Whichever." Charity weighs in, and Aaron sort of wants the ground to swallow him up.

"Oi." Chas slaps her and the she laughs and Aaron's taken aback by it.

Because it's rare that she laughs these days.

Because it was Gordon and then Jackson and then the suicide attempt and then the self harming and the self loathing.

Life didn't give her a break.

She's laughing like she used to do now though, the way Aaron remembers her when he was younger.

Happy, almost dramatic with it.

"How comes you decided to go out?" She's asking, a few minutes pass and Aaron clears his throat.

"Robert said -"

And Chas smiles.

He doesn't even know why but he blushes and Chas is suddenly grateful for Robert again.

"It's mad really, didn't think he'd be good at the whole Cupid routine but if he's getting you out again then he must be doing his job right."

It's something about the way she says it which makes Aaron wince.

Maybe because she says 'job' and it doesn't feel like they're just mates or whatever.

Aaron bites it down and nods. "Yeah." He says, "Whatever. I'm going alright, see you later."

Chas' eyes widen. "Have fun chick?"

And he promises her he will, he also finds himself promising Jackson too.

 

~*~

 

Robert's waiting and Aaron's taking his time.

He's expected him nearly ten minutes ago and he doesn't want to think about the thought of him not bothering to show up.

Although he hadn't actually agreed.

He huffs out a sigh against the cold air and then spots Vic walking towards him with a frown on her face.

"You look nice."

Robert squints. "And you look surprised."

She smiles and then rolls her eyes. "Where you of to?"

He kicks at a stone on the ground and sighs. "I'm _meant_ to be going in to town with Aaron but he's -" he looks up and her mouth is hanging wide open.

"What?" He's asking, annoyed slightly that she's inadvertently cut him off.

She seemingly composes herself and frowns. "Aaron Dingle?"

Robert scoffs. "There's not many of them around I don't think." She just stares at him. " _Yes_. Aaron Dingle, why?"

"He doesn't go out like that anymore. Not since Jackson died."

And that's not surprising but _still_.

"What, you or Adam haven't managed to try and persuade him to?"

Vic sighs. "We've tried but, he ends up doing what he likes anyway."

Robert goes to speak but Vic's eyes are still gleaming.

"This is a _big_ deal." She tells him and he tells her not to make it into one and then -

Aaron's standing there looking between them.

"We going or?" Aaron's saying in his usual grumpy fashion.

Robert nods quickly, and Vic smiles as Aaron walks off with Robert.

Robert tries to block her out.

 

~*~

 

Okay so the way Aaron stiffens as soon as they're out of the cab is _something_.

At least Aaron's actually making his feelings clear but Robert wants to know exactly what feelings they are.

He assumes irritation.

Robert frowns, watches the cab drive off as he pulls a hand in to his pocket and tilts his head.

Aaron's just staring at the club right in front of them and he can't look away.

"So, I know it's the only gay bar on the right side of Hotton but ..."

 _But_.

Robert's sort of expecting Aaron to snap out of this weird trance he's in but he doesn't.

"Aaron?" Robert says, and then he's standing right in front of the younger man and having to _zap_ something between them by touching his shoulder before Aaron's shaking his head.

"Sorry." He says, mouth dry, a million memories smacking him round the face.

"You know this bar?"

And come to think of it, Aaron probably does.

"It's where I met him."

And that's just _great_.

"Oh _shit_." Robert says and maybe it's the way he's genuinely sorry that makes Aaron almost smile and he feels a little more relaxed.

"It's alright. You didn't know." Aaron hugs his coat further around him and shudders against the cold night.

Robert rolls his eyes. "It's the local gay place and I didn't even think that -"

"Shut up." Aaron isn't a fan of Robert blaming himself and he doesn't even know why. "Let's just go inside." He starts walking and Robert is sort of stunned.

He expected them to be turning right around but Aaron's facing his fears or whatever and Robert can't help but wonder what Vic would say to this too.

He nods his head and walks into the bar with Aaron.

It's just an ordinary one really. More wooden features though, less subtle music than he was prepared for, pool bar in the middle.

Aaron remembers Jackson.

And for the first time in too long,

He smiles when he thinks about him.

"Pint?" Robert says, has to lean towards Aaron as he speaks and the younger man nods out a reply.

 

~*~

 

"See anyone you like?" Robert asks, he's remaining sober because he's on a job and Clarissa would lose her mind if she found out that he was treating Aaron like his mate.

Aaron frowns at him and he has to repeat it over the music.

Then Aaron pulls a face and looks towards the seats in front of them. He stares for a second and feels something swirl in his stomach.

Yeah there's fit lads all around but he doesn't feel a _pull_.

"Not really." Aaron shrugs, turns back on the bar and sighs. "Bit weird actually. Sitting here, being free and single or whatever." He's expecting Robert to say something about it being a whole year already but he doesn't. "I know it's been a year..."

"Oi. Chin up Dingle." Robert is almost having to shout over the music. "We're here because you deserve to be loved. And we shall achieve just that."

And Aaron smiles at him, all soft around the eyes.

"You sure you haven't had anything to drink?"

Robert frowns. "What, me? I'm your wing man mate." He gasps, points to his wings and Aaron shakes his head, for a second he resists laughing and then he really is and Robert thinks it's a fucking beautiful sound, he really does.

"Need to piss. Be back in a sec." Robert announces, swivels off the bar and disappears.

He's standing in the toilets, completely invisible to the two fuckers who are clearly having fun in the last cubicle.

And he sort of feels like shit suddenly.

He looks good, but his hair is all over the place and he's turning pale because it's nearly very late so he should be flying up soon and -

The fuckers are making him jealous. They're making him miss what it feels like to touch someone and not hurt them because their energies are divided.

He misses being loved, wanted, _known_ and maybe it's being in a place full of happiness which is making him this way but -

Well,

At least he's got Aaron.

He keeps that thought in mind as he leaves the bathroom, walks back towards where they were sitting by the bar and -

Some bloke is sitting in his place and he's rubbing a hand up and down Aaron's arm.

It's sort of weirdly alien to see and his eyes widen like mad.

And then he's moving his arms about and he's an animated loser isn't he?

Aaron doesn't think so though, he clearly doesn't because one minute he's looking more interested in railroads and then -

He's literally grabbing the man's face and they're kissing.

And kissing.

Just snogging in the middle of the bar and Robert -

He just watches.

He keeps watching until Mr Eager Beaver is pulling Aaron towards the toilets and -

Robert feels everything move in slow motion.

He's got the arrows in his pocket, the bow strapped to his back like usual.

He rubs at the chain and he's even more invisible now, not even _Aaron_ can see him. He keeps thinking about it as he walks into toilets again.

And he sees the man, all checkered shirt and brown hair and big eyes, pinning Aaron against the tiles and kissing him.

It could be so easy, one little pull, aim, shoot, action and it'd all be over.

But -

"No." Aaron _pushes_ at the man's chest and nearly sends him flying back.

He's heaving up and down, chest puffing in and out in and out and he gulps hard as he wipes at his mouth.

"What the fuck?" The guy says, and then he tries to get his breath back. "Fine then, tease."

And he's slamming the door shut as he leaves.

Aaron is suddenly still, and he presses his head against the wall before sighing.

He feels alone, stretched out away from everything and then he sees a grey feather fall towards the floor and it warms something in his chest.

"Rob?" He says, barely whispers it really and suddenly Robert's visible.

"Hey." Robert sees feebly, waves a hand out and sighs. Aaron's suddenly really small in his eyes and he wants to protecting him. He really does. "Let's get you home." He says kindly and Aaron's grateful.

He really is.

 

~*~

 

"Thanks." Aaron hasn't even looked at him the whole way home. He just hasn't and Robert doesn't know what to say until Aaron's clambering out of the cab.

"Aaron?" Robert says gently, tries to come forward and smile at the younger man.

Aaron just keeps his head down.

"I'm sorry if you - you didn't have a great time." Robert's apologetic, can't help it.

Aaron kicks a stone. "It wasn't like I didn't have a good time." He gulps hard. "It was just -"

He was kissing the guy - Daniel - one minute and then pulling away the next. But it felt good, it felt like he was almost alive.

Almost.

"You had a snog. And I'm proud of you." Robert shrugs and Aaron frowns a little.

"That's weird." Aaron scoffs, shakes a hand through his hair and then sighs. "I shouldn't have pushed him away."

Robert gulps. "It's alright." He says. "They'll be others."

And Aaron,

He sort of wants there to be.

 

~*~

 

_'Aaron kissed someone tonight, Daniel. He kissed someone who wasn't Jackson, or Finn. He kissed someone else.'_

Robert shuts the book, eyes growing heavy suddenly and he falls into a dreamless sleep.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron discovers something about Robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad people are still reading this slow burn fic, there's lots more to come!

 

Aaron's sort of got a banging headache which won't budge and he doesn't know why it's even there.

He didn't drink that much the night before but he did snog the first bloke who was interested in him.

And then pushed him right away again.

He feels like a fool the more he thinks about it, and the way Robert was there bringing him home afterwards.

Chas is slamming things about a bit too much and he sees her smiling warmly at him when he groans out his annoyance.

"Sore head love." She teases and she's full of this soft sort of happiness, _pride_ even.

"Bit." Aaron reasons and then he shakes his head.

It's starting to pound a little bit more now and he sighs out something before Charity walks on.

She's that little more bolder with her attack on him and Aaron sort of wants to hate her.

"So, get a snog or anything?"

And after all this time, after Finn, he still is drawn to shaking his head and denying what happened.

Because surprisingly, only Robert knows about that awkward one night stand.

He sort of aggressively made Finn swear that he wouldn't tell anyone about their drunken fling.

"No." Aaron says, just as Chas places a cup of tea down. He winces as he places his hands around the mug and then sips.

Chas makes a small sound. "So you got hammered for what reason exactly?"

"Wasn't hammered." He stresses and then his mum is backing him up.

"He wasn't. Saw Robert dropping him back late."

"So it's him we should be blaming then." Charity says, barely looks up and Aaron frowns at her. "For not doing his job and letting ya get Cupified or whatever." She waves a hand out and Aaron winces.

" _Cupified_?"

She pulls a face and puts a hand on her hip. "Alls I'm saying is sort of expected Mr Lover to be joining us for breakfast too, Sugden had a room of fit blokes to pair ya with and he didn't." Aaron's eyes flicker and she sighs. "He always was a disappointment."

And that makes him scowl.

"Sorry." Charity waves a hand up and then sighs. "Sort of wish I had my own Cupid."

Aaron doesn't know what to say to that.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's been roped in to shopping, and hates the fact that he's currently staring at cereal at David's and trying to remember which one Noah tolerates.

He sort of wants to have a personal shopper or something, and then he's thinking about the fact that he's got his own personal Cupid who hasn't shown his face yet.

He's trapped in his thoughts one minute, and then the _next_ , someone's pouncing on him from behind and he knows it isn't Adam because he's on a job so -

He turns and Paddy's standing there, face bright red from the energy he used to tug at Aaron.

He looks a right state and then he fixes his glasses.

Aaron tries hard to keep the frown on his face but it melts away and he welcomes the bear hug Paddy gives him.

He's basically his dad.

That's it really.

Think of all the dad sort of things and Paddy's done them.

He's also just come back from Germany with his wife Rhona and step-son Leo and it's been way too long since they've seen each other.

Skype just doesn't cut it.

"You look - God, you look well. I mean _better_ , not that you were awful before but -"

Aaron scratches his eyebrow. "Yeah. I get it. Cheers."

They seem to fall into easy conversation against the counter as David helps pack things away.

"Bumped in to your mum just now." And Paddy looks like he's almost trying not to laugh. "She said the most _wildest_ thing."

Aaron's jaw tightens. "What?" He asks, already on the defence.

And Paddy needs to compose himself quick.

"She said - that Robert Sugden is your Cupid." And wow he's laughing before he even sees Aaron's reaction.

It's not like it's _not_ funny.

It is ridiculously funny if you think about it, if you knew Robert when he was just some troubled teenager.

But -

"Yeah. It's hilarious." Aaron says dryly and after a few minutes Paddy lets it go and they're choosing Bob's for a coffee.

Aaron orders black, feels sort of hard for doing so and Paddy uses it to poke fun of him.

Again.

"Go on." Aaron sighs, can feel more questions brewing as he looks at Paddy. "Anything else my darling mother has told ya?"

Paddy's got this annoying nervousness about him and Aaron sighs.

"She said you went out last night." Paddy looks at Aaron through his glasses. "Have fun?"

Aaron feels his throat dry up and he sighs. "Suppose. I weren't out for long." And he tries to pretend that it isn't Paddy he's talking to, that he doesn't already know him through and through. He sighs hard and sips at his coffee for a second.

"I kissed some bloke." Aaron admits quietly and Paddy's mouth makes an O shape. "We went to the toilets and -" yeah he's bright red now. "Nothing like _that_ 'append." He screws his face up in almost disgust.

It could have though, he thinks.

Because Daniel was up for it.

"What was his name?" Paddy's only trying to make conversation.

"Daniel." Aaron says, "Sales assistant from Leeds." He blinks, remembers how he walked over and was talking to him for a bit. He kept talking and talking and then Aaron was just snogging his face right off because he was desperate to feel something and prove himself or whatever.

"Nice?" Paddy starts playing with hands.

Aaron mulls Daniel over.

He was nice enough to kiss after a few pints too many.

"Yeah." He sighs. "I pushed him away though, Robert and me just left."

Paddy pulls a face, "Wait, Robert was there? And he didn't do the whole bow and arrow thingy?"

Aaron doesn't say anything. "Should he have?" He's asking, gulps hard suddenly.

Paddy doesn't say anything, just mumbles something and then mentions all the beer in Germany.

Aaron just listens.

 

~*~

 

Clarissa's happy with him and Robert is thankful.

He knows that last night was a sort of close one, he could have easily pulled out the bow and arrow if he wanted to.

But, she's right when she tells him that the _old_ Robert would be so careless.

He's not him anymore.

He's grown up.

He flys down into the village with ease and sights Aaron walking out of the cafe, he's hugging who Robert can only remember as Paddy The Vet.

He's shorter though now, balder too.

He leaves Aaron and then the younger man is walking towards the cricket pavilion on foot, on the phone to Adam and laughing about something.

Robert watches him, the way his shoulders seem to roll back easier now and it makes him smile a little.

And then he's rubbing at the chain and sitting next to Aaron.

"Alright?" Robert nods his head, smiles before sitting. "How's your 'ead?"

Aaron presses against his forehead and sighs. "Not that bad. I didn't have that much to drink did I?"

Robert shakes his head. "Not really." He gulps. "You did get off with that bloke though." He smirks a little and then his face falls as Aaron stares at him.

"I didn't _get off_ with anyone." Aaron exaggerates, waves a hand up and then he's playing with his jumper, sighing. "Could have but ..."

It makes Robert's heart jump. "Is this the part where you tell me you didn't feel anything for him?"

Aaron doesn't say anything, looks right ahead at the fields.

Then he gulps. "He was fit." He quietly admits, almost unashamed and Robert smiles.

"So you felt a few tingles then?" Robert tries to laugh and then Aaron's looking at him strange. "You alrig-"

"Why didn't you shoot me?"

Because Charity was confused.

And then Paddy was too.

Just for a second, they barely mentioned it but it's stayed in Aaron's head.

"What?" And there's heart pulsing through Robert's head, his wings turn yellow at the top and he's _embarrassed_.

Aaron looks at him, turns his whole body so that he is. "You're supposed to shoot me with an arrow, help me find love. But you didn't, why?"

Robert sighs, gives in. "Because you pushed him away, and I'm - I'm not going to force anything." He's suddenly uncomfortable with the thought and gulps it down.

Aaron seems a little satisfied.

"So, you were lookin' out for me?" Aaron says, through soft eyelashes and a frown.

Robert nods. "Might be hard to believe but _yeah_ , you're interests are always the most important to me Aaron."

And Aaron's eyes flicker a little.

"All part of the job." Robert says, rolls his eyes a little and then pulls at the bow strapped to his back.

Aaron's face falls a little and he hides it with a smile before looking towards the shack and sighting a ball.

"Fancy a game?" Aaron's asking.

And Robert nods.

 

~*~

 

They play football for too long.

Which basically means they are catching their breath as the stars come out and Robert has realised he's pretty shit at football.

"Didn't realise you were so bad." Aaron says, his chest is rising up and down as he looks across at Robert.

He looks absolutely done in and it's fucking hilarious really.

Robert frowns. "Haven't played for _years_." He smiles for a second, "Haven't had to set someone up who's actually been that keen on it. I mean, _David_ maybe but by the time I was with him, all he cared about was _Alicia_."

He has a hand on his head and groans before gulping as he sees the way Aaron's looking up at the sky.

It's velvet, tiny crystals of beauty are thrown across it and Aaron isn't easily charmed but -

"It's a bit beautiful." He mumbles and Robert nods. "You live all the way up there?"

And they haven't really spoken about Robert.

On _purpose_.

It's hardly professional, like any of this is.

"Yeah. Further up though, in the clouds." Robert bites at his lip the way Aaron usually does.

"Is it cold up there?" Aaron's genuinely curious and Robert struggles not to squirm under the weight of it all.

"Na, it's peaceful." Robert blinks slowly and remembers what he thought it would be like.

He remembers thinking it was Hell, disguised.

"Not lonely?" Aaron's saying too much and Robert can't say anything back for the longest time.

He misses his mum.

He wants to see her, but apparently she's in Heaven and where he resides isn't as special as that.

He wishes he could go on a road trip and find her.

He wishes and wishes and wishes and -

"Sorry. Shit question." Aaron's saying, heart thumping because he's a _twat_.

Robert looks at him. "It's alright." He says. "It can get quite shit. Lonely. Really lonely."

He shudders a little and feels the moon stretch over them.

"Good thing you've got me to be your little project then."

"You're not a project, you're more like a -" he turns red and Aaron asks what he meant to say and -

"Mate?" Aaron asks and then he smiles.

Robert nods his head, raises his fist and bumps their fists together.

Something _zaps_ and Robert pulls back before standing.

"Need to get back, it's nearly dark." Robert says and Aaron frowns. "Something about my energy and not mixing with the earth's anymore."

Aaron sort of gets it, smiles.

"See you around." Robert says, catches flight and sees Aaron almost laugh as he hovers there. "Stop laughing."

"I'm not. I promise mate."

Mates.

Robert smiles against it, rolls his eyes and takes flight.

He watches Aaron become smaller and smaller until he can't see him anymore.

' _Me and him are mates. Sort of. Actually no, me and Aaron are actually mates.'_

He writes, a gentle smile on his face.

 

~*~

 

He wakes with a softness about him and it's strange yet welcomed.

Tilly's fluttering around him with a smile on her face and she's bought along Pearl.

She's the newest Angel, soft blonde locks and hazel eyes.

She's a bit besotted with the power and excellence of Robert and it's endearing, he supposes.

"Aaron's less grumpy today." Tilly tells him, "Is it because you're friends now?"

And, maybe?

He goes to speak and Pearl smiles adoringly at him before Clarissa is making fields grow and they fly up to let her pass through.

She's wearing a flowery headband and smiling faintly.

"Friends?" Clarissa says, and Robert shrugs.

"Sort of." He doesn't know why he's playing it down, and then he _does_.

It's unprofessional.

At the end of the day, he's doing a _job_ and it's not like they can be mates. Not like Adam and Aaron.

Clarissa's eyes flicker. "He seems happier." Robert nods. "Perhaps, try again?"

"With what?"

And there are bird tweeting too close to Robert's ear.

"Helping him find love. Another night out, get those arrows working."

And she smiles.

And he -

He eventually smiles too.

 

~*~

 

He's in a relatively good mood by the time he's flying down to Earth.

Until he's hearing Paddy and Aaron speaking and he has to hang low for a few seconds.

Paddy's stirring his tea and mumbling about something and then he's mentioning Robert.

"So is he just always hovering about then?" He's clearly curious but he's also a bit nosey and Robert watches Aaron chew at his nail before shrugging.

"Every now and again." Aaron leans over and dunks a custard cream in to Paddy's tea. "Depends really."

Paddy has lines on his face and he pulls this face, almost pouting. "Still can't get my 'ead around it. Robert Sugden, your Cupid."

Aaron doesn't say anything.

"You know what he was like with Katie?"

And Robert's skin prickles, he tries to not care what Aaron would think but he _does_.

He cares too much actually.

"Bits." Aaron shrugs. And he's actually quite sick of people telling him how Robert _used_ to be. "What does it matter?"

And God Paddy nearly chokes on the biscuit that he's wedged in his mouth.

"Because he's - well he's a _love_ _rat_ , and he's meant to be helping ya. It's just odd."

Robert rolls his eyes and holds his breath, he's waiting for Aaron to agree with him but -

"He's a good bloke." Aaron says, raises his head and looks serious and then he gulps. "Well, he's not - _not_ bloke but -"

Paddy giggles, face red and everything and Aaron hits him with a towel before sighing.

"What, you two mates then?"

And Robert, he's still holding his breath.

"Yeah." Aaron says, turns away from Paddy and Robert tries to not pay attention to how pink Aaron's cheeks suddenly go.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's alone one minute and then hearing feet against the gravel the next.

When he looks up, Robert's got his signature leather jacket on and a smile on his face.

It's more of a smirk actually.

"Fancy going out again tonight?" Robert says, comes closer to the car and lifts the bonnet up as Aaron stares at him.

"Dunno." He shrugs out a response and then frowns. "Why? You up for it?"

Robert looks at him. "No. I just wanted to say it for the fun of it." He deadpans before smiling and sticking his hand close to the engine.

"Oi. Mind." Aaron warns, tuts like he's a parent. "You shouldn't touch things."

The half smile on his face gives away his teasing and Robert bows his head a little before shrugging.

"Used to do this." He says. " _Before_."

And there's always the _Before_. That odd chapter of existence which he royally fucked up.

"I was a proper mechanic." Robert's sort of proud of that and Aaron's impressed.

"Wow. So you know -"

"This has a blocked fuel filter." Robert points out, waits for Aaron's confirmation and gets it via an eye roll.

He smirks, pleased with himself, pleased he's still _got_ it.

"So, go on then. You up for tonight?" Robert asks, he's got his long legs dangling down the side of the bulky file cabinet and watching Aaron run the place seemingly single handily.

Aaron twists something in the car and then raises his head slowly. He's thinking of another night out and then he's thinking about meeting Mr Right and it makes something bubble inside him.

Because yeah, he's realised the inevitability of finding love, of falling in love with someone else. Someone who's _not_ Jackson.

And he doesn't want to be lonely anymore, he doesn't want to feel that.

"Only if you help clean those cars." He points towards the two parked outside and watches Robert's face fall.

He can't believe he agrees.

But he does.

And about ten minutes later he's standing there with a hose out and hovering above the car because it's quicker that way.

Aaron's laughing at him from the ground, calling him _extra_ for using his 'useless' wings and then Robert's turning the hose on him and they're having a right old laugh.

That is until Robert senses someone's presence and then _hears_ him.

Andy's standing there looking all gormless and Robert lands flat on the ground, falls ridiculously awkwardly.

Aaron rushes to help him and the _zap_ which passes through them both is strong and unbearable so Robert tells Aaron to let him go.

"Shit." Andy looks awkwardly over Robert. "What you doin' here?"

Robert gets up and pats down on his knees before looking at Aaron. "Working."

And Aaron doesn't know why his heart hurts suddenly.

Andy frowns and then scoffs. It's like a Paddy scoff. "He your next project?"

And Robert's balling his fists. The tips of his wings turn scarlet.

"He's not a _project_." He says, sort of disgusted.

Andy lets it slide and then looks at Aaron, looks at how wet his overalls are. "Looks like you're working real hard." He says sarcastically and Aaron's sort of amazed.

He expected Andy to be sort of grovelling at Robert's feet and overwhelmed with guilt after what he caused but -

Well, nothing really changed.

Clearly.

Robert rolls his eyes. "Piss off." He says. "Leave us alone."

" _Us_? Cosy." Andy teases and he always has teased hasn't he? He literally can't help himself.

"Grow up." Aaron weighs in and it's rich because Andy's known him from when he was still acting like a twat, he knows how wayward he was.

Andy frowns and then shakes his head.

"Should be telling you that." Andy says, and then looks at Robert. He just has to look at him, and Robert shrivels a little within himself.

"Piss off Andy." Robert keeps his head hung and Aaron notices the way his wings droop a little.

He doesn't like it.

He wants the cocky cynical shit back.

"Yeah. Piss off." Aaron chimes in again. "Don't make me have to tell you twice."

Andy looks at him and then back at Robert. "Might as well just shoot yourself Robert, looks like you've got an admirer."

And Aaron rolls his eyes before holding at Andy's arm and drags him away.

Robert watches it happen, feels everything tense up inside of him and things are black and murky suddenly.

Just seeing Andy again makes him feel about nineteen again and he's fucking up and everything seems to be his fault and it's horrible.

And Andy's still just that stupid kid who hates his so called brother for stealing his _Katie_.

He doesn't hear anything until Aaron's touching his elbow and the shock makes him jump back.

"I hate him." Robert spits, and he shouldn't.

Because he remembers how distraught Andy was when it _happened_.

He remembers them trying to move on and then falling down the same rabbit holes.

And _hating_ each other and _God_ he just -

"I hate him." He goes to take flight, only Aaron tells him to stop. "You wait, when I'm human again, the first thing I'm going to do is punch him right in the face." He's pacing, practically talking to himself. "Just one more soul and then I'm throttling him with my bare -"

He stops dead as he looks up and Aaron's frowning.

"One more soul?" He whispers, eyes hard, chest beating. "That's me I take it."

Robert goes to speak but then Aaron's stepping back.

"So after you've set me up, you're human again? Everything back to normal?"

Robert nods, feels something swirl inside of him.

Aaron turns red suddenly and his heart drops. "So that's the _real_ reason why you're so bothered about going out tonight. Because you can't _wait_ to set me up with someone, not because you genuinely give a shit but because you can't wait for all of this to be over."

Robert's eyes widen and of course Aaron's twisted it like that.

"What? No, Aaron I -"

Robert feels this wedge between them widen and he can't get passed it.

Aaron's just looking so angry, so fucking _hurt_.

"Because you're _lonely_ aren't ya?" He says, all mean and harsh. "And I'm just another project, just like Andy said."

And he's agreeing with _Andy_ , he's really doing that.

"Aaron, you're not a project, I -"

"You don't give a toss." Aaron doesn't want to be like this but he can't help himself, he's struggling to get past it. "Everyone told me about ya, how selfish you are and -"

Robert frowns, feels the world sour around him. "That's not true, Aaron. I'm just trying to help -"

"Help? All you've done is force me in to things, buying me clothes, trying to control me." And he's going over the top now, he knows he is but -

"We're mates Aaron. I'm only trying to help you." Robert keeps saying but Aaron doesn't let it sink in.

Because everyone flipping _knows_ how Robert used to be and Aaron shouldn't have ever even tried to blur the lines, see this for what it wasn't.

"We're not _mates_." Aaron says indignantly and there's still this rage inside of him because he told him things, he really told him things and he doesn't give a shit. "Piss off."

Robert's wings sag and he gulps hard. "Please." He says, because he knows the Angels are probably in bits over this.

Tilly may cry.

"I said piss off. And don't come back, 'cause if you think for a _second_ I'm gonna let you manipulate me in to loving someone just so you can get rid of your shitty wings then you've got another thing coming!"

He's ridiculously angry and if Robert didn't know him better he'd call him a dick and tell him to chill out.

But Aaron's also got tears in his eyes and he's fucking hurt.

That much is clear.

Robert doesn't stick around to see him cry, he flys up and leaves Aaron wondering why he ever thought he was decent.

 

~*~

 

He storms passed the Angels, slamming things about and marching passed the clouds.

He's fucking angry and Clarissa knows he is.

"He'll calm down." She tells him gently and Robert doesn't think he will.

"He hates me. Even more than he did before."

And Robert,

He doesn't hate Aaron.

Not one bit.

Clarissa sort of frowns. "He's just upset."

And he has the right to be, he really does _yeah_ but it doesn't make Robert feel any less like _this_.

It's not his fault that Aaron just so happens to be the last soul he has to help.

He didn't plan for that.

Or for the way Aaron reacted.

"I might as well give up now." Robert can't even imagine seeing him again. "I'm staying like this forever."

Because he doesn't have it in him to shoot Aaron and watch him fall in love with the first person he sees.

Aaron deserves more than that.

Clarissa shakes her head. "Patience Robert." She says. "It'll be fine."

And he wants to write that down.

But instead he's writing,

' _Aaron hates me. I don't hate him.'_

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaron acts out to spite robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it feels like it's been a while! this chapter is fairly chunky and the next few will continue to be that way. 
> 
> also after the whole 'ed is the old flame' talk last night i couldn't help but laugh at how kind and soft i have written him here!

 

Aaron's in the foulest mood and yeah he knows it but he's not doing anything about it.

It's been nearly a week since the idiot called Robert Sugden basically admitted that he was only making all this effort and pushing Aaron to move on because as soon as this is all done, he's able to be himself again.

It makes Aaron wince as he thinks about it, it makes him want to completely forget how it felt to actually be thought of as someone worth saving.

He doesn't want to think about how much it helped.

All he _can_ think about is how much he hates Robert Sugden.

Just like everyone else does.

He finally fucking understands why that's the case.

He's fixing a car when Vic approaches him with a pout on her face.

She looks like she's building up to ask him something and he bows his head.

"If this is about Robert, then -"

"Andy said he was teasing, then he said he heard you screaming in Robert's face!"

And yeah, he really was screaming.

For _good_ reason.

"You know I'm his last one?" Aaron thought he was over this but apparently he isn't. He turns and looks at Vic.

She just blinks. " _And_?"

He scoffs. " _And_ , he's pushing me because he wants to hurry this up. He doesn't really give a damn."

Vic rolls her eyes. "Of course he does you idiot!" She sighs heavily, hand on her hip. "If he didn't, you'd probably be all gooey eyed over that idiot you bought into the pub the other week."

Leon.

Aaron sighs hard. He doesn't say anything.

"He cares Aaron."

He still doesn't say anything.

"And so do you. If you didn't, you wouldn't be so upset."

Aaron's eyes widen, "I'm not _upset_."

"Yeah you are." She sighs, "And I haven't seen him for ages. Because _he's_ upset, hiding from _you_."

And,

The thought of Robert up in the clouds by himself makes his chest feel funny, but -

"Good. I don't want to see him. I mean it." Aaron's sure of his words, and Vic, she can't change his mind on that.

 

~*~

 

Everyone's _sad_ for him.

And it's pathetic.

Because Paddy and his mum honestly think that because he's shouted at Robert and told him to piss off that he's never going to find love again.

"Honestly though, you keep upsetting him and then this happens. He's gone and you might get yourself cursed or something." He doesn't even know why he's let his mum follow him to work, but she's here, peering down at him whilst he tries to fix a car.

"Feels like I already am." Aaron grumbles out, shaking his head and sighing.

"Oh _love_." She's so flipping dramatic it's a joke.

So Aaron's thankful when Adam crops up.

"Alright?" He's asking and Aaron just has to point at Chas to explain.

Adam scoffs. "Is this about your doomed love life then?"

And Aaron rolls his eyes. It is apparently and he's sick of hearing about it.

Because he's not going to make an effort for Robert's benefit, the idiot who only really cares about getting rid of his wings.

"Yeah. I'd rather talk about literally _anything_ else." Aaron waves a hand out, and then Adam is offering to take him out tonight.

Aaron frowns.

"Oh come on, we won't go to the gay one." Adam always forgets its name, he's a fool. "Just want to have a laugh. That's all."

And Aaron could do with one.

He agrees, finds himself looking up at the sky and promising Robert that he will _not_ be falling for anyone.

Not ever.

 

~*~

 

The music is booming, and Aaron's having to hold back a laugh as he sees the way some lanky lad is gyrating on the raised platform.

Jesus.

"You sure this isn't a gay bar?" Aaron's pointing at the bloke and then Adam's throwing his head back and laughing.

They manage to make it through the sweaty crowd and order drinks at the bar.

Two beers.

And then two more and then another.

Aaron's not _drunk_ by the time Adam starts talking heavy, but he's not sober enough to shut his mouth.

"Go on then. You can tel me you know, if you regret being so angry with him."

And _him_ , is Robert.

"Who? _Cupid_?" Aaron laughs against Adam's shoulder and raises his pint. "Fuck 'im."

Adam frowns though. "I don't get it though. I mean - you're his last one, _yeah_ but -"

Aaron gulps. "Told him things Ad, 'cause - I honestly thought he gave a shit. But now I think about it - all he did was _push_."

He waves a hand out and he looks down.

He's not still supposed to be sad about this.

Yet ...

"Thought he cared." Aaron whispers, sips at his pint and Adam looks sorry for him.

"Seems like you cared too."

And Aaron doesn't like the way that sounds.

"Shut up."

" _No_." Adam looks all seriously suddenly. "You were mates, yeah. So you must have cared about him _too_. So -"

Aaron rolls his eyes and slides off the chair. "Does it look like I give a shit?" He asks,

And _yep_.

It does apparently.

 

~*~

 

His eyes are red raw, bloodshot.

And he's got tears in his eyes because maybe he is _drunk_ and that's not good because he'll only get emotional if he is.

He looks up towards the ceiling and sighs.

"Is this where you shoot me? Get it over with?" Aaron grips his hands around the sink and Robert is watching over him.

Of course he is.

He didn't want to, but -

Suddenly some bloke walks in and Aaron bumps straight into him, hands press against the man's chest and stopping him from falling.

"Woah." The man chuckles, and Aaron looks up at him.

He's _fit_.

And he stumbles a little, feels his hands press around his arms to keep him in balance.

Aaron just stares at him and Robert holds his breath as he looks down at the scene.

"Sorry." Aaron says, jumps back and the guy laughs.

He's all muscles and brown eyes, brown skin and big build and -

"It's alright." He says, and he looks at Aaron. He keeps looking and gulps. "Ed." He brings his hand out and Aaron's eyes glisten a little.

This feels _odd_.

He feels a pull in his stomach and Ed looks soft and kind.

He sees a lot in him and so does Robert.

There's definitely pink hues above his head and he's _interested_ in Aaron.

He actually _is_.

"Aaron." He says, he shakes his hand and then Ed's asking if he's alone. "Nah. With my mate."

Ed bites his lip. "You want to get out of here?"

And maybe he's not as boringly soft as Aaron feared for a second.

It's ridiculous, he doesn't know him at all but -

"I - um," Aaron stumbles and maybe he'll always be shit at this.

"I thought, sorry - I read it -"

And Robert wants to shake Aaron in to action.

"No. You didn't." Aaron says suddenly, licks his lips and then they're swapping numbers and it's weird.

Ed looks pleased with himself and smiles. "You sure I can't tempt you?" He says. "With my rugby lot and they're all trying to get off with as many girls as they can."

Aaron laughs a little and blames the beer and then he's looking towards the right and there's a feather on the floor and of course Robert's _about_.

Even when he told him to leave him the Hell alone.

"Sorry, got to go." Aaron hurries out like an idiot and Robert knows it's his fault.

_'Turns out, when I'm around I make things worse.'_

And yeah, he really does.

 

~*~

 

 

Another few days go by and Aaron's doing all he can to avoid talk about where Robert's disappeared to.

He's in the cafe when Vic walks in with a scowl on her face telling him that she misses her brother.

He doesn't say anything, doesn't want to be horrible but then Andy's coming in and saying that they're better off without him being around.

And Aaron sort of can't help himself.

"Yeah only 'cause he reminds you of what ya did."

And Andy looks frazzled, eyes flicker about the place and Aaron storms out of the place like he has some sort of right to be offended.

He doesn't.

He tells himself that as he goes to work, pulls his overalls on with ease but then nearly topples and -

He suddenly feels someone hold their hand out to hold on to.

And it's _him_.

"Hiya." Robert looks about ten years old, sheepish, freckles more visible than Aaron remembers.

Aaron feels his heart flip and he's staring at Robert's hand. He slaps it away before gulping.

"Probably deserved that." Robert clears his throat and Aaron lifts his head just a little.

He looks at Robert and sees a sort of rawness around his eyes. He looks sorry.

"Yeah. You did."

Robert sighs. "Look." He sits on the bonnet of the car and then jumps up again as Aaron scowls. "You're my last one _yeah_ , but that doesn't change anything. I'm not trying to push you. I'm sorry if that's how it came across."

Aaron feels the wind pick up around them and his heart is still thumping.

"It does change things." Aaron lifts his head. "Because I'm the only person stopping you from being who you want to be."

And when you say it like that then _maybe_ but -

"We're mates Aaron." Robert says and then sighs. "Or at least we were." He doesn't know what else to say and Aaron sniffs softly. "I was never trying to hide the truth from ya you know?"

And Aaron knows that.

He also knows that Robert's probably used to this happening, him fucking up, people losing their minds at him, then him being alone.

He sort of wants to punch him in the face and give him a hug at the same time.

"The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. Believe it or not." Robert is putting too much on the line here and he sort of hates himself for it but Aaron needs to know that he's sorry.

Because he genuinely is.

Because he's sick of mopping about and pretending that he hadn't hurt Aaron badly, that his crippling insecurities were piling high against the facts Robert couldn't change.

Aaron stares at Robert, floppy hair and eyes brighter than he remembers.

"I do believe ya." Aaron rolls his eyes as Robert nearly smiles at him. "Maybe I - overreacted."

Robert gulps hard, "Maybe so." He says, shrugs and then there's this softness between them suddenly.

It's edged with awkwardness and Robert has to clear his throat to get passed it.

"How about, I don't push you in to anything anymore, as long as you don't stubbornly resist any chance of happiness?" Robert steps forward, frowning, but with a smile on his face.

Aaron frowns, "And that means -"

"Ed." Robert says plainly. "Let's not pretend that he hasn't been trying to get in touch."

And yeah okay, maybe the odd text here and there but -

"If you were ignoring him as a way of punishing me, you can pack it in now that I'm forgiven -"

"Oh? Forgiven are ya?" Aaron raises an eyebrow and there's a teasing about it which Robert has missed.

He sort of really misses Aaron being a dick.

"Hopefully." Robert gulps, and he is hopeful.

He really is.

 

~*~

 

Vic sort of smirks when she sees Aaron and Robert walking in to the pub together.

" _Oh_." She says, and Robert hates how dramatic he flipping is. "You friends again now?"

Aaron turns red and tells her to shut up and Robert doesn't disagree.

He just sits down at a table and then grills Aaron when he comes back with a pint.

"So, Ed?" Aaron frowns and then Robert waves his hand out a bit. "Pretty fit, right?"

And, Aaron pulls a face. "Suppose." He shrugs, and he starts playing with his hands.

Robert watches him gulp at his pint and then kick his foot up on the chair and he wants to tell him that this won't get him a date with Ed but he isn't going to _push_ him.

"You gonna ring him?" Robert dares to say and Aaron just sort of looks at him.

A little deadpan.

"Maybe." He says eventually, because he's no longer being a stubborn about it.

Him and Robert are alright now, mates again.

 _Whatever_.

Robert nods a little, tells himself he isn't going to go on about it and instead Aaron's asking how he's been and he nearly falls off the chair.

He tells him about keeping Tilly busy, helping her look over the children.

And then Andy's walking in and things get _frosty_.

"Andy, wind your neck in alright?" Vic's actually sticking up for him and Robert keeps his head right down as he heads to the bar with Katie.

She never actually says anything and he's sure she doesn't hate him as much as Andy makes out she does.

"Alright?" Its Aaron's way of being nice, and Robert's eyes flicker out a nod.

 

~*~

 

Chas has some words for him and he tells himself that he doesn't care what she has to say, but she's also Aaron's _mum_ and he supposes she counts.

Regardless of how annoying she is.

And how much she hates him for things that happened about a billion years ago.

He thinks back to how he remembers her, wild and flighty and just everything she isn't now.

She certainly wasn't motherly like this.

But he supposes that Gordon being who he was fucked things up for her and made her see sense.

She's more than making up for lost time now.

She's wiping down the bar when she calls him over and sighs. "Look right, if you're actually going to do what you're _here_ to do then, you should be working a little harder on not winding him up." He goes to speak and she stops him. "I know you're alright now but - the last thing you want is him turning on ya _again_? Being a stubborn one and not finding love."

She's being dramatic, and Robert wonders if she's basically trying to tell him to not give Aaron a reason to lose it which is -

Understandable?

"Alright." He says heavily. "You do know that if he doesn't find true love, I don't get rid of these." He looks at wings and yeah she knows that, it's the whole reason why Aaron flew off the handle. "So why would I try to make him hate me?"

And she doesn't say anything.

"Don't worry alright? I'll make sure Aaron starts falling in love soon okay?"

And she looks like she could kiss him suddenly.

He wants her to stop pulling that face, immediately.

And she _does_.

Because it's replaced with big wide eyes and a small gasp.

Robert looks up to tell her to pipe down and then he sees Aaron walking in with Ed. He's laughing about something and Ed looks towards an empty table.

Suddenly Robert's seeing the pink hues around Ed's head and he's hearing the angels whisper in his ear.

The seem to be excited, really excited actually and Robert can't help but wonder if Ed could be the _one_.

Maybe, God maybe he really is.

Because Aaron's shoulders are relaxed and they're talking about _sports_ or whatever and he's got this softness about him that Robert had kidded himself he only had for him and his mum and Adam and Vic.

"God. Look at him!" Chas nearly jumps across the bar and that's when Robert snaps out of his thoughts and gulps hard.

"Yeah." He says softly.

And Robert does look at him. He smiles faintly and then watches Aaron comes towards the bar and wince as he looks at Chas.

"Two pints and nothing else." He says and she looks like she wants to throttle him but relents.

Aaron looks over and Robert smiles before nodding his head slowly.

He doesn't want to stay and watch, he'll catch up tomorrow.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Robert teases as he passes Aaron and he doesn't wait to hear what Aaron says back.

Instead he just flys up.

And has a soft smile on his face before he's opening his book,

_'Ed could be the one, and that's great.'  
_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoped you enjoyed this, let me know if you did!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robert battles against his feelings as ed and aaron grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bigger chapter because I am doing robron week next week and won't have time to write enough to put another chapter together. Hopefully this makes up for it!

 

There's a thudding in his chest and he can't really explain it but it's annoying.

His skin is a shade paler than it was the day before and he pulls at his face a little as he looks in the mirror and then sees Clarissa standing behind him.

"Your head is fuzzy." She tells him and he wants to tell her to leave him alone.

"I'm not feeling too well." He says, because his wings feel heavy and there's something wrong with his head.

Clarissa makes a small sound and Robert feels a butterfly land on his hand, its wings are blue and almost transparent.

It has a delicate look about it and Robert gets caught up in how it sits contently on his hand. He doesn't hear Clarissa attempting to talk to him.

Until,

" _Robert_?"

She's standing in front of him, well, almost floating and her eyes sparkle green.

"Sorry, I - I told you my head was hurting." Robert gulps hard, feels like he needs to sleep for about ten years.

"I was saying, at least Aaron has found Ed." She smiles and Robert wonders why she's so pleased.

He supposes everyone is.

He's pleased, just doesn't see the need to go on about it.

"They only had a drink." Robert tells her, holds at his head and sighs.

Clarissa pulls a hand through the clouds and they turn to meadows suddenly, her fingertips sparking gold.

"He stayed for more than just the one, Tilly was watching him for you. She has quite the bit to report." Clarissa says and as if by magic Tilly comes flying in with a smile on her face and Pearl a few inches behind her.

He groans against the excitement in their wings and waves a hand out.

He was fully convinced that he was too ill to go and see Aaron today, but now, he might as well get the gossip from him.

"I'll go down and see him." He says, and Clarissa's eyes flicker and he suddenly can't read the look on her face.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's just sitting on the bench near David's when Robert flys down. He's got his feet up on the bench and looks like one of those reckless youths you'd leave well alone.

Robert feels their differences stretch between them.

He doesn't know what to do.

He hovers over him and debates whether or not he's up for it, and then a feather falls and Aaron's raising his head and frowning.

"Come out with your hands where I can see 'em." He's teasing, and he's wearing one of the jumpers Robert bought him, it's a purple one, jagged lines drawn across it.

He's also smiling.

Robert rubs at the chain and lands on his feet crunching against the rubble.

"Hi." He says, waves a hand out and then Aaron's making room for him to sit.

He does and then he's gulping hard as Aaron looks at him.

"Go on, I bet you're _dying_ to know what happened after you left." Aaron brings his knees up towards his chest and squints against the sunlight.

He's half surprised Robert didn't stick around and take photos.

Polish his arrows from the back of the pub.

Robert doesn't say anything and then laughs breathlessly. "Uh, yeah go on. Give me the details." He turns towards him and Aaron starts talking.

And he keeps talking.

He had a few drinks with Ed and, well he basically stayed until closing time.

Robert's skin prickles. "Really?"

Aaron nods. "Yeah." He shrugs. "He's alright to be honest."

And well, he _must_ be, Robert thinks.

"Thought he was a bit ... dull." Robert doesn't know what his brain is doing but apparently it doesn't want to be subtle or respectful right now.

Aaron's face sort of falls. "Well, I mean, he's alright." He shrugs, and it's not like they were having this deep discussion the whole night.

Ed stayed and they talked mostly about him and rugby and then Adam was coming in and they playing dates. The three of them.

It was nice, it felt -

Nice?

Robert sees how deep in thought Aaron is and he smiles. "You seeing him again?" He asks, and Aaron looks at him.

He notices that his wings are pink at the top and he doesn't know what that means.

"I think I might." Aaron says, eyes flickering and Robert smiles, almost teeth showing and everything.

"Only way is up." He says and it's almost to himself really because Aaron's texting Ed when he looks at him.

And he's back to being a grumpy shit again in Robert's eyes.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's taking his time on this car, deciding that he needs to actually work today instead of give in to how much Cain is teasing him over Ed.

Ed.

He actually had a laugh the night before but there's always something holding him back and he cannot even begin to try and think about attempting to get over that invisible hurdle.

He turns the engine, feels the low rumble of the car rise through him and for a second he's back to where he was a few years ages.

He's sort of overcome with this ridiculous bout of sadness and sudden horror of how awful his thoughts used to be.

And he freaks out a little, feels the crushing weight of himself and everything else just plough into him without warning.

He's like that one minute and the next he's kicking open the door and finding it hard to breathe right on his own.

That's when Robert's suddenly by his ear telling to him to breathe, telling him that it's okay, that it's _fine._

"Can't - Robert, I can't -"

"You can. Come on, in and out. It's easy. You can do that all on your own." And Robert doesn't know when he subconsciously swallowed a therapist's handbook but it's helping Aaron come down from whatever he was getting himself worked up over.

And he resits the urge to touch him, hug him and give that sort of comfort.

He hovers slightly over his frame and waits for the harshness of breath to subside.

And then Aaron feels like a twat because of his stupid brain.

He's embarrassed.

Sort of really embarrassed.

"Sorry." He says, all quiet and subdued.

Robert frowns. "Don't be sorry. Just -" he sighs. "What bought it on?"

And maybe everything and nothing did.

"Maybe Ed. Someone looking at me like he did last night."

"How," Robert clears his throat. "How did he look at you?"

Aaron doesn't know how to speak for a second and then he bites his lip.

"The way Leon didn't." He scoffs and Robert looks at how soft and red Aaron's face is. He's also got tears in his eyes but Robert's sort of used to that really. "Like, I don't know, he really liked me."

Robert is warm suddenly and he hates how fuzzy Aaron can make his ice cold heart.

"He does like ya, he wouldn't have come all this way to this small village to drink in an even smaller pub, if he didn't." Robert lets the words roll out and then they hammer over his head.

"Yeah?" Aaron says, and Robert knows that he won't give away even half of what he feels before he knows that Ed is interested. "Could - could ya tell?" He doesn't even know what he's asking but Robert gets it.

"Yeah. I could tell." Robert says, and Aaron blows out a breath.

It's weird, seeing Aaron like this. He's almost going mad all because he maybe likes a bloke.

Robert finds it ridiculously endearing yet wants to shake Aaron at the same time.

"Says he wants to go out properly tonight." Aaron says, waves his phone up and Robert's eyes flicker.

"Oh." Robert says and suddenly that's _quick_ and he realises that he needs to found out a bit about him before this goes ahead.

You know, actually do his job properly.

"Should I? Do you think that's a good idea?" Aaron's asking, a serious look on his face.

Robert's eyes flicker again. "Why would you ask -"

Aaron scoffs, and there's wrinkles near his eyes as he laughs a little. "I don't know _Cupid."_ He says and Robert turns red.

Aaron almost makes him forget sometimes.

"Uh, yeah go for it Aaron." Robert says, voice attempting to sound light as he speaks.

And then he's making an excuse and telling Aaron he needs to leave.

"You gonna be okay?" Robert asks, hand almost hovering over Aaron's as he walks up to him.

Aaron just stares at him before nodding slowly. He gulps and then his shoulders relax a little.

"Course I will." He says. "Thanks though." Aaron doesn't thank Robert enough.

He should.

 

~*~

 

He gets that Ed's a rugby player but surely there's _more_ to it then that.

Surely.

Robert's thinking about it as he hovers over the patch of grass Ed's running across.

All sweaty and ripped and Robert rolls his eyes at him. There's just _something_ about him that makes Robert feel weird.

He's not able to see him and Robert sort of wants to keep it that way as he hovers over him and then hears someone blow a whistle.

Ed stops, and then a few guys are jogging over to him and telling him that the session is up.

They also say that they are heading into the changing rooms and Robert follows with a smirk.

And yeah everyone's practically naked and he blushes under how small the towels are around the waits and Jesus Christ he can't wait to be human again.

He's getting himself a little too distracted and then he's hearing some big lad teasing Ed over having drinks with -

Oh, _Aaron._

"Shut up. He's nice, bit grumpy but nice." Ed says, pulls his jeans on and then sighs as they all start laughing.

And alright, he seems decent.

But then, Robert is sticking around until it's only Ed and the big lad left.

And he's mentioning some guy called _Mark_.

"What about him then? Didn't he want to see you? I mean, you can't keep ignoring him."

Robert's wings turn red at the tips and he sort of wants to punch him because yeah maybe Aaron looked happy but he knew something wasn't right.

Ed doesn't really say anything and then he sighs. "It's complicated. I suppose I should though? I do love 'im, he's just - he's a lot to deal with right now."

And Robert has heard enough thank you very much, so he flys up and shakes his head until it just might fall off.

And he's that fucking cynic he always was again.

 

~*~

 

He's not a complete dick, he tries to warn Aaron off him in the nicest possible way he can but Aaron's actually got this sort of nervous happy energy running through him.

"Spit it out then." Aaron's lathering gel over his hair and looking in the mirror. He's also wearing a green stripped jumper and has a frown on his face that won't budge.

Because Robert looks pale against his grey walls.

"Ed." He says, "He uh - well -" Robert sort of can't bring himself to break the smile on his face. "He seems alright."

And Aaron's shoulders relax against the words.

"Yeah." He says, turns back towards the mirror and alright, Robert's going to just have to derail Ed as best he can.

 

~*~

 

Derailing a rugby player should be hard he supposes, but when you're invisible and it's nearly dark outside.

It's pretty easy.

Ed drives some average normal looking car and Robert can't work out what make it is but it's probably nothing special. He watches him from the clouds and decides to swoop down as he gets to the country lanes.

He decides to cut the engine and smirks as he watches Ed slow down to a halt.

He sort of feels bad, hears the Angels gasp in horror at how directly he's intervening into the world.

Because strictly speaking, it's not allowed. The only time Robert is supposed to intervene is when he's shooting someone with an arrow.

Robert practically feels the looks all the way from where he's standing and he frowns.

"Just doing my job."

And his job is to help Aaron find love, not let him actually start falling for an idiot.

 

~*~

 

He's quite the smug shit about it really, he's almost triumphant and tells himself that he deserves a drink in the pub.

He also realises that Clarissa is going to be pretty pissed off with him but it's worth it, it's worth it for Aaron to actually you know, get a proper chance at love.

Robert swoops down into the village and walks into the pub before he's halting stop. He turns himself back around and then sees Aaron standing outside with _Ed_.

Something literally bursts inside him and he wants to shake the world because God this wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to _stop_ this from happening.

Aaron's standing close to Ed and he's shuffling on his feet and then Ed's pointing towards the pub and he's walking straight passed Robert who's completely invisible to him.

He rubs at his chain though, and Aaron sees him as Ed walks towards the bar.

Aaron looks a bit startled. "Hey, you -"

"You can't go have a drink with him." Robert's blurting out, and suddenly it's starting to spit and the clouds are forming overhead.

And Robert should be getting back.

Aaron frowns, "Why?" He's saying, and the walls are piling up inside him again, he can literally feel his heart close shut just like Robert's is.

"Because - I - didn't his car -"

"It broke down, he had my number though so I went out to fix it." He frowns, has his hands in his pockets and the rain falls down onto his shoulders.

And oh _great_.

Of fucking course Ed called the mechanic in his phone to help with his car.

Robert gulps hard against the words and sighs, "You still can't, 'cause - he's not being honest." And he shouldn't be telling Aaron like this but he is, he's seeing the way Aaron's face falls. "He's - I overheard him talking about some guy called Mark, he said he loves him."

And he expects Aaron to look a little more bothered, but he just frowns. "As in - his wild stepbrother?"

And yep, _shit_.

Robert's mouth just hangs open and Aaron sort of smiles at him.

"Don't worry." He's saying and he comes a little closer towards him. "You wanted me to try didn't ya? Well. This is me trying. Properly I suppose." The rain is falling harder and Aaron stares at Robert's wings, they're grey and sagging slightly against the water. "I should -" he points towards the pub and Robert steps aside.

He watches Aaron go and realises that he got it _wrong_ , maybe Ed really is just a good bloke.

One Aaron already knows quite a lot about.

"Rob?" Aaron turns and smiles at him. "Cheers, for looking out for me." He says.

And Robert sort of squirms under the way it sounds, "No problem. Have a good night." He waves a hand out and Aaron says it's only a casual thing, that he's just decent company but he sees the smile on his face and no one's put it there before now.

It makes his heart jump and he wants it to be cold again.

_'Ed really is a good guy.'_

Robert writes, shuts the book and falls asleep after a few hours of trying.

 

~*~

 

Robert rarely dreams, in fact, he can't remember the last time he did dream. But he wakes up thinking about what he dreamt of the night before and it's Aaron and Ed.

They're kissing and laughing about something and Aaron's staring at him and saying,

_'Shoot me, I want Ed. Shoot me.'_

And his hands freeze around the arrow.

He doesn't know what exactly that means but it freaks him out and he feels rough for it. And then Clarissa doesn't help matters but having a right go at him.

"You should have heard the rest of the conversation before you made your mind up about who this Mark was." Clarissa's voice is soft and she's almost singing and he wants to tell her to stop but she doesn't, instead she asks if he's okay.

And alright, he hasn't been feeling like himself for a while now but he's not going to let that get in the way of doing his job is he?

Aaron needs him still, to see how this is going to work and if Ed's actually The One for him.

He suddenly wonders if Aaron's still admit that Jackson was The One.

"Just think about you becoming mortal again Robert." She smiles at him and he mirrors her, feels something rush through him.

Because it's sort of a win win really, Aaron gets true happiness and he gets to be human again and find some love of his own.

Thinking about it like that makes him snap out of whatever he's allowing himself to get bogged down with.

Everything's _fine_.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's not sure who's more excited about him literally having a few pints with Ed, Paddy or Chas.

Either way, they both literally jump up and down as soon as he enters the pub and they're like wild dogs he has to keep at bay.

He decides that there's no point in trying to ignore the obvious.

"Yes. It was alright." Aaron waves a hand out and then gulps as Chas' eyes sparkle. He's happy that she's happy, he's happy that he's finally allowing himself to be open to the idea of being with someone new.

But he's also not sure why there's this big block in the way still.

He knows it's not because of Jackson, or _Gordon_ and that kettle of fish.

He'd love to find out.

"He's dead fit." Chas says, "All biceps and toned -"

Aaron literally cringes against her words and tells her to shut up, and she laughs off his annoyance.

"You seeing him again then?" Paddy asks, moment later and when Aaron's had a sip of his pint.

Aaron gulps and thinks back to the night before, Ed was heavy with the hints about getting out of the village and actually having some fun.

And Aaron had smiled back, but it hadn't met his eyes.

He's not sure why he was waiting for Robert to come down and advise him on what to do but -

It would have helped.

"Maybe." He shrugs and then he drags himself back to the garage.

 

~*~

 

Robert flys down with the pattern of sound from the wind and Aaron's under a car.

His feet are slamming against the gravel, in time to the song playing on the archaic radio Cain keeps in the garage.

Robert smirks, and this heaviness that his shoulders had seems to melt.

"Thought you said Taylor Swift was a whiny sap?" Robert says and then Aaron's jumping, his knees hitting the car and his head bumping it hard as he slides up.

"Shit." Aaron's swearing, and then he's throwing in some other swear words just for fun it seems and Robert smiles just a little. "Why are you always creeping up on me?"

Robert frowns. "Creeping up on ya?" He says, shrugs. "Bit harsh." And it's not like he means it, but it makes something flicker in Robert's eyes and Aaron picks up on it.

He always seems to.

Aaron huffs, scratches his eyebrow. "Sorry, you alright?" He says, leans against the car and Robert nods. "How's everything ticking up there?"

Robert rolls his eyes. "Great. How about down here? Take it you and Ed had a good night."

And he takes it that way because Aaron was smiling when he left him.

Aaron sort of chews at his gum awkwardly. "He's nice." He says, and then he sighs. "He's asked if I want to get something eat tonight."

And that's the step Robert was expecting.

It's still a surprise though, if that makes any sense.

"And - you said what?" Robert asks and well, Aaron hasn't even told anyone, he's not had to think about that Giant, 'I'll let you know' that's still hanging over him.

"I'd get back to him." It's a cop out and Aaron knows it.

Robert doesn't know what to think, sighs a little and then decides to start playing with his arrows. He bounces them up and down in his hands and then hears Aaron scoff.

"Don't get any ideas though." Aaron says, and he's joking, but also looks positively petrified.

Robert shoves them back into his pocket and shakes his head. "As if." He says softly, "Go tonight." He tells Aaron after a few minutes of silence.

Aaron's frown tells him that he's unsure.

"First date in - in a long time and I think it'll help. And he's a good guy isn't he?" Robert has a million reasons why Aaron should go, they all just so happen to be superficial and that's weird.

Aaron agrees, sort of nods his head and says thanks and then Robert is smiling and he asks him what's wrong.

"Oil." Robert says, comes towards Aaron a little too casually and reaches out to wipe it away from Aaron's cheek.

And then Aaron's hissing at the connection and backing into a stack of tyres.

"Sorry - I completely -"

He completely forgot.

It shakes something deep within him and Aaron just stares at him until he's flying away and trying to figure out how to breathe on his own.

 

~*~

 

Robert is sort of hit by the cologne as soon as he's standing in Aaron's room.

And suddenly the age difference between them is that it wider.

Aaron's standing by the mirror, hands towards his face and pulling at his skin as if to wake himself up, or psyche himself up, or something.

It's ridiculously endearing and Robert feels a feather fall towards the ground but Aaron's too distracted to even notice.

He's wearing a plain black jumper, jeans and -

God he's going to throw a hoodie on top isn't he?

He does.

And Robert suddenly makes himself visible.

"Don't even think about wearing that outside this room." He says, and Aaron suddenly stares at him and frowns.

"You what? I'm just trying to keep it, you know, causal." Aaron shrugs, but the coolness doesn't meet his eyes at all.

Robert scoffs then, glides a little until he's sitting on Aaron's bed. It smells like Aaron does.

"So is that why you're wearing that much cologne then?" Robert has his arms crossed and his face falls just a little as Aaron sniffs at himself and sighs.

"Too much?" Aaron _blushes_ and Robert smiles.

"You're fine." He jumps up, and Aaron's chewing his lip a little. "Oi." Aaron's looking nervous and Robert doesn't like it. "You'll be alright you know?"

"Will you be there?"

And Robert wasn't planning on hovering above and watching them make heart eyes across the table.

"Don't think so." Robert clears his throat and can't read the look on Aaron's face. "You can tell me about it though, after." He says quickly and Aaron smiles.

"Cheers." He says, punches Robert's arm lightly and feels the _zap_ race through him.

Robert smiles against it and watches Aaron go.

He doesn't tell him to have fun.

 

~*~

 

Ed's into rugby.

He really likes it, the rules, the tackles, the runs.

His face sort of lights up as he talks about it and God, he talks with his hands a lot.

He's animated, the type of bloke who laughs at his own jokes and waits for Aaron to do the same.

He's also kind, like the type of kind Aaron's mum says he's like, _deep down_.

The type of kind Paddy saw in him.

"What about you then?" Ed's tilting his head and asking Aaron about what sport he's into.

And it's ground they've touched on their pub chats but Aaron entertains in over his burger.

"Erm. The usual. Football." He says, gulps hard and Ed smiles. It makes Aaron roll his eyes. "Don't mind rugby either." He shrugs.

"I'm glad." Ed says, and he likes Aaron. Aaron can tell. He sees the way he looks at him and it's the way Jackson did before the accident, before he knew how awful it was to love him.

The conversation stays light, and there's a beat of something between them.

Ed's older, he's more refined in his ways of getting around things that make Aaron look away uncomfortably and gosh Aaron's thankful for that.

He's also thankful that Ed doesn't seem to be expecting much.

"You could always come to a match you know?" Aaron hears Ed over the hum of the restaurant and his eyes flicker.

"Yeah?" Aaron says, and the pull is still there between them. He welcomes it gladly, yet feels something pull him _away_ too and he's not sure when he'll ever truly be able to grab this with both hands and make a go of it.

But he's _praying_ it will happen.

So he's saying he'll go, and it rounds the conversation _back_ to rugby and Aaron's not even that fussed considering talking about _himself_ is -

Too much.

It's not easy.

It's not like Ed is Robert, he can't just blurt things out about himself and feel like it's safe to.

Aaron's thinking about Robert suddenly and can't stop even as Ed rabbits on about something with too much talk about fields involved.

He doesn't sense him here, but you're not supposed to sense Cupid are you? You're also not supposed to see his wings falling but Aaron does and -

That's weird but he doesn't want to dwell.

And then he's seeing a waiter walk towards him with a concerned look on his face.

"Aaron Dingle?"

Aaron frowns against it, sits up a little straighter and nods.

And apparently there's some sort of emergency he has to attend, and his heart is beating out of his chest and he's guilty for leaving the comfort of his stupid village and leading his own life because _something_ has happened and this waiter is as useful as a white crayon and -

"Go. I'll - I'll ring ya later." Ed's kind, gentle and Aaron squeezes at his shoulder before he's rushing out of the restaurant and attempting to call his mum.

'An emergency at home' is probably the vaguest sort of warning he's ever been given in his whole life.

As he starts charging down the road, he suddenly sees Robert standing there.

He's almost waiting for him and Aaron frowns, face red and chest heaving up and down and then _stopping_ as if Robert calms him or something ridiculous like that.

"Rob? There's an -"

And Robert just smiles. "There isn't. Just needed to do something to get you out of there."

He's still smiling and Aaron frowns harsher.

There's this feeling sort of bubbling up inside him and he wants to smack Robert.

"Are you kidding? Why would you even do that?" Aaron's got a hand on his hip and the sun is neatly setting around them. It makes Robert look almost golden.

And Robert doesn't have a concrete sort of answer. He just blinks and thinks back to what he watched over. Ed was nice _yeah,_ but he also banged on about rugby for about two whole hours.

"You looked bored." He shrugs out, sort of feels like a dick _now_ for being so presumptuous but Aaron's eyes flicker.

"How would you know that? I thought you weren't going to be watching over? Thought you were busy?" He's almost blushing against the fact that Robert watched Aaron try his hardest to _flirt_.

Robert shakes his head, hands go straight back in his leather jacket and his wings poke up through it.

They're a soft grey, and Aaron wonders what it would feel like to touch them.

"You're meant to be my priority." He says effortlessly and Aaron has to look down. "You want to get some chips?" Robert's asking, sort of blurting out and he's almost waiting for Aaron to tell him to well and truly _do one_ but he doesn't.

Instead he nods and,

Maybe Robert _was_ right to stop whatever disaster of a date that was.

 

~*~

 

Robert doesn't look the type who would settle for greasy chips on a park bench.

But he is.

In fact he ends up with ketchup on his chin and Aaron stares at him for too long and Robert pulls a face.

"What?" He asks, a soft smile on his face which fades as Aaron points to his chin. "Oh, cheers." He says and then he's wiping it away with a harsh swoop.

"Didn't think you'd like chips." Aaron says, smiles to himself as Robert frowns. He kicks his legs against the ground and watches the sky for a second.

It's nearly pitch black.

"Haven't had chips like this for ages." Robert says, chips remind him of when he was younger, when everything in the world was that little bit more sweeter and kind.

Aaron nods slowly, slopes down further on the bench and feels the weight of the chip paper warm his lap.

For a second he wonders if Ed thinks he's a dick for having to leave, and he _cares_ and that's something at least.

That's really something.

He's thinking about it as Robert asks him if he's alright.

"Yeah. Just - you know it wasn't that bad." Aaron says, and the wind picks up around them, Robert's wings shake and then they sort of curve in. "Being with Ed."

Robert stops kicking against the frown suddenly. "Sorry. I shouldn't have -"

"I like this better though." Aaron says, offhandedly, sliding a chip across the ketchup and then looks up at Robert's face.

His face is all expressive suddenly, mouth open, eyes wide.

And he's also a little red, his wings pink at the top.

"The chips. I like chips better than the ones at the restaurant."

Robert frowns, gulps hard. "Yeah. What were they like?"

Aaron looks down, "Uh thrice cooked." He says and Robert scoffs.

And then they're laughing, this soft sound which makes Robert look about ten years younger.

"I should be getting back." Robert says, looks straight up to the sky and Aaron bites at his lip. "It's getting late."

"Yeah." Aaron says and Robert stands slowly.

"You alright getting back?" Robert's asking and Aaron nods.

"You could always fly me back?" He says and Robert says it's not possible, that he's not that powerful and Aaron rolls his eyes.

He realises that they're teasing each other and they're actually mates, actually close.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Robert says, and Aaron watches him go.

 

~*~

 

Robert sort of tiptoes across the clouds and feels the wind nip at his wings a little before sliding into his room.

He settles down and then feels a knock on his door.

Tilly's there and apparently Clarissa wants to see him.

She's wearing this flowery crown and her wings are golden as she sits there, frown forming on her face which is ridiculously unnatural for her.

"You stopped the date?" She asks, well _tells_ and Robert suddenly shrinks under her expression.

He knows he probably wasn't supposed to do that. He knows he was acting on impulse but -

"He was bored." Robert shrugs, tries to play it cool, tries to not act like he knows what he did was wrong.

"Maybe so. But you know the rules." Clarissa says, shakes her head and suddenly this giant book is slapped down at Robert's feet.

He remembers having to read it when he was only a kid.

Nineteen and with wings suddenly.

You're not supposed to touch a mortal.

You're not supposed to stay on earth at nightfall.

You're not supposed to interfere with earthly efforts of love.

Robert gulps against it, rubs at his eyes and sighs hard. "Yeah. Yeah I know. I'm sorry alright."

He's not sorry actually, in fact he's _glad_ , because Aaron preferred chips.

"Don't do it again Robert." And she means it.

And Robert does understand, he does.

But,

_'Aaron prefers chips.'_

Is all that he manages to write in his book.

 

~*~

 

Usually days like today don't matter to him, he shrugs off any sentiment and decides to stay in bed and hear the birds tweeting away peacefully.

Today is usually  _strictly_ a day off.

But he's getting on a bit, he's not old, but _older_ and the day doesn't need to be spent alone in bed eventually sobbing silently.

Not when he's got Aaron to help.

Aaron.

Robert smiles softly against the name as he swings his legs round the bed and stands. His hair is flat against his hair and it's golden, his bare shoulders are filled with patterned freckles and he clicks his neck in the mirror as his wings flap up.

Days like today make him hate the colour of his wings.

They make him wonder why exactly he gets to be like this, why he gets to be _grey_ and so murky.

He hates how they represent how _morally_ grey he is, when all he wants is them to be white or even pink.

Just like Tilly's, just like Pearl's.

There's a soft knock on the door and Clarissa glides in, she smiles softly at him and suddenly there are flowers growing in his room.

He silently curses her and then she smiles. "You don't need to work today, you know that."

And he does know that.

He huffs out, sits back down on the bed and feels grass at his feet.

"I know. But I will. I want to."

Clarissa frowns against it and sighs. "You never have before?"

And that's right.

Robert stands, shrugs out something and then pulls his leather jacket on.

"There's no point moping about here is there. There's nothing I can do about it. In fact," he gulps hard. "Being _here_ makes me even worse, knowing that - that she's somewhere I can't be."

Clarissa makes this soft sound and her wings flap just softly against her back, gold crystals fall down at her feet and she sighs. "If you're sure..."

"I'm sure." Robert says, and he leaves before she can say anything else.

 

~*~

 

Aaron flicks through the channels and sort of curses himself for the lack of good daytime television as he sees yet another old re-run of 60 Minute Makeover start.

He's sloped off work, been in and out way too quickly but Cain was in a good mood - something about Moira and going to see her.

The thought makes him wince as Adam comes tumbling in with a scowl on his face.

"Your Cain is sniffing round my mum, _again_." He exaggerates everything with his hands and Aaron rolls his eyes.

"Whatever." He says, not in the mood to have this conversation and Adam seems to give it up as quickly as he starts. He sits opposite Aaron at the table and nicks the neglected slice of toast left on the side of the plate. "How comes you're not working?"

Aaron sighs. "Couldn't be bothered. We didn't have much on anyway." He shrugs, drums his fingers against the table and Adam smirks. "What?"

"Is that code for, Ed wore me out?"

And Aaron turns _bright_ red.

"Piss. Off." He says after a few seconds and Adam goes into one, he _won't_ stop laughing and then when he does he pulls a face.

"You have snogged right?"

And _no_ they haven't.

Maybe they would have, it Robert hadn't intervened.

It makes something tug in his chest and he doesn't know why.

Aaron gives it away with just a look and Adam sighs.

"Oh come on _man_." Adam slams down on the table just enough to rattle Aaron a little and he rolls his eyes against how much of a drama queen Adam is. "He's well into ya, you've seen him a few times now."

And Aaron knows all of this. It's not like he is _repulsed_ by him.

"We haven't, I don't know - the time hasn't really -"

"You're not supposed to schedule in a snog." Adam says and Aaron sighs.

"Will you _stop_ saying the word _snog_." Aaron slams at Adam's right arm and then the idiot is laughing again.

Aaron sits for a second until his phone is buzzing and Adam's making a grab for it.

And of course Ed is forwarding him the ticket for the game.

The game _tonight_.

"Looks like you're going then." Adam says, slides the phone to Aaron.

Almost by accident Aaron looks up towards the ceiling and then down towards the floor again.

Looks for Robert basically.

He hasn't seen him.

"Aaron?" Adam waves the phone in his face and Aaron shakes himself a little before grabbing the phone.

He hovers of the message, feels something ripple through him and then he's taking the damn plunge with or without Robert there to help him.

_'Sounds good.'_

He texts.

Even smiles faintly whilst doing it.

And Robert,

It's not the time for him to weigh in with his sadness.

He flys up away before Aaron spots him.

 

~*~

 

Robert's _not_ getting himself upset or anything by sitting on the bench by himself and watching the world go by.

He's not.

And then Vic is seeing him and he's not quick enough to escape her calling. She practically drags him down and the spark between them clearly aches her but she persists and Robert relents.

"You're not going anywhere. Not today." Vic is soft, eyes already watering and Robert doesn't have it in him to upset her anymore.

They just sit together for a while, her flowers in between them.

"They're nice." Robert says, admires their soft violets and warm blues of the flowers and the way the shoots of green almost unripe buds are standing nicely between.

Vic smiles faintly. "Thanks. She liked those colours didn't she?" And she almost has to ask, that's what makes Robert ache the most.

She has to ask, has to _check_ her mind hasn't conjured that memory up for her out of thin air.

Robert pulls a hand over hers and she vibrates a little from the connection until it hums down into something almost bearable.

She is family after all, their connection is always tighter and stronger.

"She would have loved these." He says, and for once he's her big brother and not some weirdo she has to keep apologising for.

It's soft and calm one minute and the next Andy and Katie are appearing.

Their flowers are orange and yellow and just _bright_ and if Robert was a prick he'd call them garish.

"Alright?" Andy says, all dumb and stupid. "What?" He asks when Robert looks at the flowers.

"Bit garish them." Robert says, almost pokes them and Katie tuts.

Victoria holds her breath as Andy says that she liked orange and yellow and Robert scoffs against it.

Even *now, things get like _this_.

Andy's face becomes even more annoying, the way he stands is even more stupid, and that expression of his is suddenly punchable.

"Piss off." Andy says. "You're such a child."

And Robert rolls his eyes. "Why don't you just turn around. Pay your respects elsewhere." He says, scowls and the clouds go grey overhead.

Andy goes to speak and Katie pipes up.

"He's got every right to be here." She says and Robert stands suddenly.

"Robert, don't go. Please." Vic says and her voice is so tight, she's clearly trying not to cry.

Robert closes his eyes, and Andy's mouthing off yet _again_.

"Go on, fly up up anyway." Andy laughs, and when Robert looks at him, really looks at him his face falls.

He's always got this.

He's always always got the fact that Andy is such a _dick_ to him because somehow in his stupid cow muck filled mind it almost numbs the fact that he tried to kill him.

That as far as he was aware for a while, his so called brother was dead because of him.

"You always manage to ruin everything don't ya?" Robert says. "Can't even let me and Vic have today." He says and he pushes passed him as he goes.

" _Rob_." He hears Vic. He feels sorry for her.

But he also wants to feel sorry for himself, somewhere alone.

So he does.

 

~*~

 

The door is knocked on about a second before it's opened and Aaron wonders what the point was as his mum stands there grinning.

"I take it you've seen Adam then." He deadpans, looking at her though his mirror and slathering more gel on his hair.

"He said you've got another _date_ with the lovely Ed." She says, jumps up a little.

He rolls his eyes. "A ticket to see him play." And the more he's thinking about it, the more he's realising that he'll probably be standing there amongst the stalls _alone_.

Because he doubts Robert is going to show up.

He hasn't seen him all day.

Chas dramatically sits on his bed and sighs, proper hands on chin and everything. "Oh! And then going out afterwards. To celebrate like." She's using her hands way too much and he suddenly needs a cigarette.

"I don't know." He shrugs, walks towards the cupboard and yanks out a pair of trainers.

He hasn't thought about that, hasn't thought about anything else other than kissing Ed at the end of the night.

He wants to kiss him.

Not like the way he kissed that random in the club.

In another, _better_ way.

"Is Robert going with ya?" She asks, and she doesn't exactly hate him anymore but it's only because she's got her head around the fact that he's _helping_ her son find true love.

Aaron whips his head around and sighs. "Why do you care?" He says, doesn't answer the question.

She pulls a face. "Because he's your _Cupid_ and I'm wondering when he's going to start using his arrows and be done with it."

The thought makes Aaron drop his trainer and nearly topple onto the bed.

It's _a lot_ to think about.

But he also knows what he's like, if he kisses Ed, he could become smitten like he was with Jackson and then _yeah_ , Robert _would_ be shooting him.

"I - I don't know -" He stumbles, can't help but do anything else until his mum pulls a hand over his.

"You like him don't ya? I can tell."

Aaron frowns. "You can?"

And Chas nods, he supposes some of it is her own wishful thinking but there's some sort of sincerity in her look.

"You're smiling again."

And yeah.

He is.

 

~*~

 

The sky is practically golden by the time the match starts, the sun is just about to set and Aaron's decided to drag Adam along with him.

Yeah he had to get his own ticket but he didn't see to mind.

Adam was more of a rugby fan than Aaron had given him credit for.

Apparently this was going to be a good game.

"Yeah. You've said that four times now." Aaron says, tugs his coat up and drags the zip towards his neck, pulls all the way as he moves his weight from one foot to the other.

The sound of trumpets start and Aaron pulls his head up to see the teams coming out.

He looks towards the right and sees this little boy with green paint across his face and waving a poster out in front of him.

It's got Ed's team name across it and also his _face_ which makes Aaron's eyes widen.

"Didn't realise he was such a big deal." Adam says and Aaron gulps hard.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Aaron says, slowly looks up towards the big screen and sees that the game has started.

Ed's moving around the field, running hard and fast and then leaping and grabbing the ball.

Aaron holds his breath for a second and then another second and then Ed's running the whole way and everyone's cheering.

It makes his cheeks blush red.

"God he's good!" Adam practically shouts in his ear and Aaron nods. "Ey, Robert should be 'ere to see this!"

And Aaron doesn't know why that makes his face fall.

 

~*~

 

Robert is spending time near the memory well and moving his fingers through the water as he hovers.

It's murky and grey because it reflects the mood of the individual.

And he hates that, but looks passed it as he sees her face.

Her brilliant happy face.

He remembers her, feels himself want to fall down and join her - wherever she is.

It's ridiculous but, the thought of just _hugging_ her again is enough to reduce him to tears.

The thought of just hugging _anyone_ right now is somehow this massive ask and he hates these stupid wings so much that it burns through his whole body and turns the tips of his wings crimson.

That is until Tilly rests against him and he shakes his sad thoughts away.

"Why don't you go and visit Aaron?" She says, words gentle against the water.

Robert blinks quickly. He was going to go see him before but he was discussing Ed with Adam and he didn't want to be a gooseberry with wings.

He pulls a face suddenly and sighs. "He's busy. With Ed."

Tilly's eyes flicker and Robert holds his breath as he waits for her to say something. But she doesn't. Her eyes - beautiful and glistening - are wide and happy instead.

"He might not be now!" She says.

She reminds him so much of how Vic used to be when she was younger and he smiles against her before wiping at his eyes.

"Okay, okay I'll go and see him." He says, and before he knows it he's flying down from the clouds and floating across the village.

He doesn't see him though, and instinct tells him to turn around, but it _also_ tells him that he's at the rugby match and he drags himself there instead.

The Angels whisper to him that he bought Adam along, they also whisper that he's probably on the way back now and Robert believes them.

He actually believes them and that's what he sees it happening.

Aaron's in the locker room, the lights are all dimmed and Ed's there.

Robert knows something is going to happen even before it does.

"You were good with the whole ball thing." Aaron says, and then his eyes widen. "Shit I mean, you're - you're good at rugby." He says, hands flying and Robert thinks it's adorable how endearingly bad Aaron is at flirting.

Apparently so does Ed.

That's probably why he does the whole leaning against the locker, eyeing Aaron up and down, smirk thing and says,

"Shut up." Before he's leaning in closer and -

They kiss and something explodes in Robert's chest out of _nowhere_.

Aaron's so soft and tentative about it but Robert sees the pink hues above his head and they match Ed's.

They match.

He's suddenly so painfully sure why a tear rolls down his face.

Because -

What he feels, he feels so _deeply_.

It's probably why he flys away before he sees anymore.

 

~*~

 

He thinks he deserves a drink.

He really does, so he orders one off Vic and slopes in the corner of the pub.

He makes himself invisible as well and watches Gennie and Nikhil laugh and joke about something.

Robert smiles almost faintly as he sees Nikhil try and fail to tackle a cheese burger.

Some things never change he thinks, before he's sort of hating how happy they are.

How happy _he's_ never ever going to be.

He doesn't think things could get any worse but then Aaron's coming in with Ed and Chas is losing her shit once again.

Suddenly she's out from the back and playing barmaid.

"Anything I can get you boys?" She says, oozes ridiculously motherly shit and Robert probably hates her a little bit more today just because he doesn't get to experience that and Aaron always brushes it off like he doesn't want it.

He's selfish.

Well, no he's not but Robert's had too much to drink and he's bitter.

And Ed is making oogly eyes at Aaron and bumping their knees together.

He stands suddenly and gulps the remainder of his pint before he's walking outside and sucking in the cold night air.

"If you can hear me, know that I miss ya." Robert whispers up towards the sky.

He always wonders if she can.

He always hopes.

The minute is ruined as Andy comes around the corner and spots him.

"Oh, look who it is." Robert says, pulls a hand out dramatically and sighs.

"Not now Robert. We're just going to have a quiet drink, try and toast to -"

Robert almost scowls. "You don't get to do that." He squints, and then Katie is stepping up.

"Of course he does. You know that."

Only he doesn't.

Not really.

"All I know is that he's the reason she isn't here anymore. He's the reason I didn't get to see her when he _ploughed_ a car into me!" He's shouting now and causing a great big scene and Aaron hears it from inside.

He must do because he comes out and he looks so upset suddenly.

"Rob? Hey - hey what's -"

And Robert waves a hand at him, "Piss off Aaron."

Aaron's eyes widen, "No. No - what's wrong? I haven't seen you all day and then you show up and argue with Andy in the middle of the street."

The sky is turning black now and Robert wants to hide in its colour.

And suddenly all he can see is Ed kissing Aaron and Aaron kissing Ed and Ed kissing Aaron and -

"He's ridiculous. That's why." Andy blurts out, frowns. "You just have to stamp over everything and make it -"

Robert doesn't let him finish, he almost _lunges_ forward and suddenly Aaron's pulling him away and tackling him to the ground.

Robert groans out in pain and blinks before he's seeing Aaron just sprawled out on top of him and the connection between them makes the younger man _hiss_ before he's jumping off.

Robert is frozen almost for a second or two as Aaron looks at him.

He keeps looking at him and his chin is wobbling.

Robert has to look away and he struggles to his feet before attempting to fly.

"Rob? Robert -"

But he goes, flys up as far as he can until Aaron's voice is nothing.

He leaves Aaron staring hard at Andy and frowning. "Well what the -" but Andy waves a hand and disappears.

Aaron debates whether or not to follow him, only Ed comes out and he decides to get back to him.

It's only when he's ordering another pint that Vic groans against it all and tells him.

"It's the anniversary of our mum's death today. It always hits him the hardest." Vic says slowly and then frowns. "I thought - didn't he tell you?"

And Aaron gulps.

He feels hollow suddenly. "I was - I was a little busy. I mean - all I was doing was -"

Talking about Ed.

Talking about kissing Ed.

Talking about how things were going with _Ed_.

They were meant to be _mates_ and he can't help this sick guilty feeling pour through him.

Vic frowns. "It's alright. He - he's used to it."

Used to dealing with it on his own, up there? Aaron thinks, nods slowly as she walks away and then brushes at hand over his face as he remembers how broken Robert looked outside.

He can't stop thinking about it and then Ed's squeezing at his shoulder and he smiles faintly.

He tries to forget.

He can't.

 

~*~

 

_'You would have liked Aaron mum, maybe as much as Ed does.'_

Robert manages to write before he falls into a hazy drink induced slumber against a white cloud.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this, let me know what you thought!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert has to watch Aaron and Ed take the next level in their relationship as Aaron and him grow even closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a well over due chapter and a lot of wild stuff happens which I hope you appreciate!

  
The Angels celebrate anything, absolutely anything at all so Robert isn't too surprised when he wakes up to the sound of party poppers ringing in his ears and soft singing.

He tries to sit up and his head _aches_ , he's sort of fully aware that he over did it the night before but he doesn't want to think about that.

So he swings his legs around the bed and flattens his hair down before the door is being burst open and Tilly is _flying_ in with Pearl.

He jumps back against her glee and then she's flying around the room.

"Robert! Robert! Aaron kissed Ed last night, did you see?"

And something sort of slams into him suddenly.

He remembers alright.

He tries to smile faintly and she drags him out of his room, makes him groan as he follows her in only his pants.

All the Angels are clapping for him in unison and he blinks against them before rubbing his eyes.

"Well done you." Leyla's walking towards him with a smirk on her face and her shocking pink suit is enough to make him wince a little. "Didn't think you'd crack the Dingle nut but you did." And she laughs at herself, all giggly.

Robert doesn't say anything, just nods his head.

"Yeah well, Ed's a good guy." Robert gulps against and watches her strut away from him before Clarissa is appearing before him.

"This is a lot of progress Robert." She says, smiles a little and Robert is aware.

He's aware that once his individual physically expresses desire for someone else, _strictly_ speaking he's allowed to shoot them.

But that seems ridiculous when he thinks about Aaron.

"I know." Robert says, and she gently touches his shoulder, guides him across the lake she's suddenly produced with the back of her hand.

"Yesterday was very difficult for you. Maybe you should think about taking the day off today." Clarissa looks concerned, and he wonders if she saw his behaviour last night.

Robert tenses his jaw. "I'll be fine." He says, eyes flickering.

Clarissa nods, and then Tilly is calling for her help and she turns to leave before stopping. "The news about Aaron, it's great isn't it?"

And he gulps hard.

"It's great."

 

~*~

 

Aaron's biting hard down on his nails and Cain swots him suddenly with a towel.

"Oi. Daydreamer." Cain clearly hasn't got time for his shit and Aaron scowls at him before attempting to get back to this stubborn tyre.

It won't budge though and Aaron suddenly kicks at it.

"Will you _stop_ you flipping maniac." Cain drags him away from the car and then Aaron gulps hard. "If you think this is gonna mean you can go and see your lover boy then -"

Aaron sighs, word spreads like fire round here and he already knows that everyone's talking about him kissing some random bloke outside of the pub late last night.

"How about you just leave me alone?" He says and then even before Cain can say anything back he sees Vic and Adam walking towards the cafe. "I'll get you a coffee, sorry."

Aaron wipes at his hands and suddenly calls out for Vic to slow down a little so that they're walking in together.

She seems like she's still sad, like Adam's been comforting her all night or something.

Aaron doesn't mean to force her to talk but,

"Have ya seen Robert?" He's asking, a frown on his face and she nods, looks towards Adam and sighs.

"Not since he was trying to fight Andy yesterday." Victoria touches her head and sighs again.

Aaron gulps hard. "He seemed really upset." He whispers and Andy's in the corner of the room with a coffee and cream bun and he frowns.

"Poor him." He says, shifts just a little. "He was the one who lunged at me."

And that only makes Aaron scowl. He's never really had a problem with Andy but Robert seems to bring out all this ugliness in him.

"Yeah only because you were goading him."

It makes even Bernice tut in the corner of the room, sipping a coffee and picking at a lemon tart.

"Aaron, I know he's your Cupid but that's no excuse to defend his behaviour is it?"

Aaron sighs, wants to tell her to piss off but he's better now, better at controlling himself.

"He was upset!" Aaron says instead, and then he looks at Adam. "Cheers for letting me know it was his own mum's anniversary as well mate."

Adam sort of drops his face and Vic scowls at him suddenly.

The air is thick and yep,

Adam completely forgot didn't he?

"He'll hide himself away now." Vic says, as Adam goes to order for them after kissing her head.

It makes Aaron's heart clench.

"No, no he can't -"

Vic looks up at him. "You've got _Ed_ now. You're his last one. He'll shoot you and then run for the hills and I'll never see him again. You watch." She says, and she passes him with a sadness about her that makes Aaron's head hurt.

Because he's not _got_ Ed.

Yeah he likes him, yeah he makes him happy but -

Aaron's eyes flicker and he holds his breath for a second before he's pulling the door open and charging down the road.

"Oi! Where's my cofeee?" Cain shouts across the road and Aaron doesn't give a shit.

 

~*~

 

He wants to see him, he feels something charred building up inside him because he wants to know if Robert's alright and no one else seems to think what happened was that wild anyway.

Vic seems resigned to the fact that she's not going to see him again soon and Aaron doesn't want to fall into that category too.

Because he spent the whole of yesterday thinking about Ed, which was _fair_ but also clearly meant he wasn't there for Robert on an important day.

Aaron kicks his feet up and he holds the remote in his hand as he thinks about the fact that a few weeks ago, he literally told Robert to just piss off and leave him alone and _now_ -

Now he doesn't like the thought of that one bit.

He's trying to work out why, and he knows it's because they're mates, but there seems to be something deeper and -

"Feet off please." Chas hurries in, a smile on her face as she kicks at her son's boots. "Blimey Aaron they're filthy." He looks up at her and then down again. "Shouldn't you be -"

"On a break." He tells her, shuffles a bit on his weight and feels her literally staring into his soul. "What?"

She has a hand on her hip and she looks scared suddenly. "You - you seem upset love?"

It makes Aaron feel guilty, seeing her look at him all anxious over his behaviour is probably the worst thing now because he's put her through so much shit.

"It's Robert." He says, sort of just blurts it out and doesn't expect the eye roll he gets from his mother.

It's no wonder why he keeps things to himself.

"Oh _God_ , I thought it was something to do with Ed." Chas says dramatically, starts sorting washing near the table and Aaron remembers how ridiculously excited she was about being formally introduced last night.

Aaron scowls a little. "He was really upset last night." He almost whispers and she sighs.

"This _is_ Robert Sugden." She says, "Wings or no wings, that boy has always been trouble."

Only he's not a boy anymore, he's the wrong side of twenty and he's living a cursed existence and no one actually gives a shit about how he might feel about that.

No one.

"I suppose everyone says the same about me then." Aaron responds, arms folded and Chas tries to bang on about it being different but he doesn't care.

"Why are you getting all worked up over him anyway?"

And for a second there's silence and she literally just _stares_ at him.

And then her eyes flicker like she's worked something out and she drops her head before attempting to raise it again.

"Because - because he's a mate alright." Aaron says, too late almost.

Too late.

Chas doesn't even say anything and Aaron gets up to leave, suddenly too hot, when his phone starts flashing and Ed's sending him a text.

'Dinner later? ;)'

The wink face makes Aaron smile just a little.

Chas suddenly leans over and looks down. "Rob's your Cupid, _he_ is your potential boyfriend and soul mate thingy. So go. Leave Robert to wallow on his own alright?"

It's an instruction and despite everything Aaron finds himself nodding along.

 

~*~

 

He doesn't go back to work, instead he decides that sitting in the old cricket pavilion is a good place idea.

He props himself up against the wooden slabs and then moves inside as it starts to spit. He groans against it and then walks inside, pulls a cigarette out and puffs over and over again.

"Thought you were trying to give up?" Aaron hears and suddenly Robert's sitting in the corner of the room like he's trying to hide himself away from the world.

His wings are almost silver and he has a cut just near the wrinkles of his right eye.

Aaron winces a little and then chucks the cigarette out of the window before looking back at Robert.

He almost looks like a fallen angel or something and Aaron forgets how to breathe.

"I'm getting better." He says after a few seconds. "Down to one or two a day now."

And Robert smiles faintly, he's proud of him, and suddenly Aaron's so much younger in his eyes.

He's frail and mighty at the same time and he supposes that will never really change.

Aaron's always going to be this enigma and that makes him special.

It always makes Robert want to hate him.

He didn't expect to see him here like this, he was meant to be hiding away from both the Angels and the villagers.

Here's a safe haven but it also seems to be where Aaron goes as well and that only makes it odd.

"Good." Robert says, offers Aaron the weakest smile he can and then looks a way.

Aaron hovers slightly before sitting slowly down on one of the abandoned wooden crates. "I thought I wouldn't see ya for a while." He says.

Robert's eyes flicker. "Bet you were glad."

And he sees his behaviour the night before, he's pushed and told Aaron to go away or whatever.

He remembers it not being nice. He remembers wanting to take it back.

Aaron just frowns though. "Of course I wasn't." He blurts out quickly before gulping. "I didn't want that. Rob," his breath is steadily slowly. "You can talk to me."

Only Robert's wings start to curl at the tops and he brings his knees up towards his chest.

"Talk to you? About what?"

And his heart just _drums_ in his chest.

Aaron's bad at this, absolutely _shit_ but he battles through.

"Andy. Your mum - I -" he's suddenly petrified that he's crossed the line and he scratches at his eyebrow before sighing. "He shouldn't have goaded ya." He knows that for certain.

He knows that Andy is always mean whenever Robert is around and it's odd.

Robert can't quite believe his words. "You what?" He asks, looking straight towards Aaron and feeling his heart jump.

Aaron twists his lip. "Sorry, I didn't mean to speak out -"

"No. No - I mean - you're not going to call me out on being a dick? Lunging at him and -"

Aaron shakes his head, he's been that guy before, he's heard people judge him and he hates it. He won't put Robert through that.

Robert cowers again, eyes flickering. "He spoke about mum." He says. "My mum."

And the wind outside smacks against the small building, makes Aaron shudder.

He's not heard much about Sarah Sugden.

He knows that she was killed in a fire and that things weren't as they seemed. He knows that Andy was only a daft kid and didn't mean to cause any harm _but_ -

Aaron wants to throttle Andy for making Robert cry.

"I'm sorry, for not - it was her anniversary yeah?" Aaron's so bad at this, just looks at Robert and watches him nod his head.

"I always hate them." Robert sniffs softly, and he tries to hold in the sadness that seems to be unable to stop racing through him. "I usually just curl up in bed and forget about everything but -"

But this time he didn't, this time he had Aaron to be there for.

Aaron sort of gets what he's trying to say and suddenly feels guilty again.

"I'm sorry, about -"

Robert frowns at him. "You don't need to say sorry for _anything_ , you were living your life. That's all."

Saying it like that makes things easier somehow, it makes the fact that Aaron was too preoccupied to talk to him seem not that crushing anymore.

Aaron bites at his lip and moves the crate forward. "Still." He shrugs. "Maybe if I had then you wouldn't have -"

"I was always going to try and hit Andy." Robert almost tries to joke but it hurts.

Everything to do with Andy just hurts now and it's mad to think how close they once were.

Best friends and everything.

Aaron can't help but become intrigued, he gulps hard and builds himself up. "What really 'append between ya? How come he still hates you?"

They're good questions but they also make Robert wince against them just a little. "It's a long story." He says heavily.

Aaron nods, something inside him tells him not to back down from this.

He supposes that a lot of people have before and he won't do that to Robert.

"Better start then." He says, nods encouragingly and Robert just frowns as he raises his head and his wings twitch.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Robert gulps, the sun is still up and Aaron's probably got things to get on with.

Aaron looks down at his phone, and then up at Robert again. "Nah." He says.

And Robert smiles faintly.

 

~*~

 

He starts with the whole begging his dad to let Andy stay thing and Aaron feels something burst in his chest. The kindness of a little boy is suddenly pouring out for him to see and he smiles against it a little.

And then Robert's mentioning Katie, he's suddenly older and things get messy.

"I wanted her 'cause she was his." Robert shrugs, starts playing with his hands like he's a child and then he sighs. "The last piece to his picture perfect life puzzle. Then I fell for her." He remembers soft hands, soft kisses and laughing.

They were happy when they were alone.

They were.

"Andy found out." Robert is suddenly cold. "And she chose me," he's never been able to believe that. "And I screwed it up, cheated, was an idiot and -"

Aaron keeps staring at him, the sky around them is getting darker and he shoves his phone into his pocket and switches it off.

He wants to hear.

"It's okay, you don't have to -"

"Andy tried to shoot me. Shot my dad instead." And Aaron's eyes widen as Robert speaks slowly, has his head bent. "He was still so _bitter_. But so was I." He raises his head and Aaron is taken aback by how red and blotchy his face has become. "Because he took away _mum_. So I could take away her."

Aaron holds his breath against Robert's thoughts and doesn't know how to respond.

Robert doesn't give him the chance though.

"He tried again, a few months later. We wanted to settle it or whatever and - he hit me. We were playing chicken like idiots and he hit me." Robert remembers the _sound_ more than anything. The screeching and the feel of his own head banging against the steering wheel before everything cut to _black_.

Aaron gulps hard, "Was it a -"

"He meant to." Robert whispers, pulls his knees further towards him again and rests his head against the wall, almost turning away from Aaron. "He wanted me dead and then I was and suddenly he _didn't_ want that."

Andy was a mess. Robert remembers that much.

Aaron's eyes flicker. "Of course he didn't, he's your brother." He tries to say, tries to reassure and Robert just sighs against it. "I bet he -"

"He never said sorry you know." Robert sniffs, eyes watering now. "I reckon he thinks that I don't know he actually _meant_ to kill me." He shakes his head against the idea and gulps. "I walked back into that village with _wings_ and he just laughed. He wanted to _bury_ what he'd done and being a dick to me was making up for that somehow. If he was nice then - then he'd constantly know why he was being nice you know?" Robert frowns, heart racing because maybe he's spent all those nights thinking the wrong thing.

Maybe Andy just doesn't give a shit about what he's done.

Aaron shudders, "It makes sense." He offers and Robert stares at him.

He's still here, listening, and it's starting to rain outside now.

"You know some nights, I wished I was just dead." Robert's eyes glaze over, and a tear falls down his face. "Because no one would even care if -"

And that's when Aaron decides to jump off the stool and come towards Robert. He doesn't dare to touch but the heat of him makes Robert raise his head.

"Don't you dare alright?" And suddenly Aaron's almost as old as he is. He's wise and far from this reckless boy. "I'd care." He says, and his eyes are wide, blue, so blue and Robert just stares at him.

He breathes sharply in and out and then the wind smacks against the building again and makes the ground shake.

Robert suddenly turns white, he hasn't experienced cold like this for a while and Aaron's eyes are still wide as he looks at him.

"You okay?" Aaron whispers and Robert just rubs at his arms and tries to warm himself up but his lips are turning purple now. And -

"Rob," Aaron doesn't know what to do and then he's taking his coat off and holding it out for Robert to take. When he does though, he's still shaking and he's telling Aaron to leave him because he'll be alright. "No. No I'll -"

Aaron looks around the room in desperation and then Robert clings to the jacket.

He doesn't know what exactly is wrong with him, this hasn't actually happened before but he supposes it's freezing and he's been here all day and -

"It's alright Aaron." Robert looks away from him, can't bare how scared the younger man looks. He tries not to cry, holds his breath and then suddenly Aaron's lunging towards Robert and wrapping his arms around him.

The _zap_ or whatever it is between them is mind blowing, painful and _tense_ and everything hurts over and over again and Robert hasn't hugged someone for absolute years.

Not like this.

The blood rushes back up to his face and he can feel his toes again and Aaron just keeps holding him despite how much it hurts.

And Robert lets him before -

He pushes Aaron away.

"What are you playing at?" Robert accuses, panting hard and Aaron just looks so confused.

He can't explain what he just felt but it was so _much_ of something and -

"I'm sorry." Aaron blinks quickly, gulps hard and struggles to stand. "I was just trying to -" and he stops because Robert's teeth are chattering again. "Lets get back, I'll buy you a pint?"

And the rain is hitting the pavilion hard.

Robert winces. "I'll wait for it to die down a little." He whispers, and Aaron walks back towards him.

"I'll wait with ya." Aaron whispers, moves around and then sits next to Robert.

"You don't have to." Robert says, sort of still chattering and trying to suppress it. Aaron hovers his hand over Robert's and feels the older man draw in a breath before he nods.

It's enough, and Aaron slowly places his hand down on Robert's and winces against the pain until slowly, slowly it settles and they close their eyes against it.

 

~*~

 

Robert's first to wake a few hours later and he looks across at Aaron. He's a soft sleeper, mouth silently hanging open and the lines on his forehead completely disappearing.

And he's got his hand on Robert's.

Still.

Robert smiles down at it for a few seconds, before he remembers himself and drags it away harshly.

It wakes Aaron up, makes him almost jump and Robert blushes.

"I'm sorry." Robert says, and Aaron rubs at his eyes.

"What's the time?" Aaron asks, looks outside and sees the blackness of the sky.

Robert frowns. "Late. Maybe seven?"

And Aaron groans, suddenly remembers he was supposed to be meeting Ed. He yanks his phone out and switches it on, there's about a million messages.

"Did I keep ya? I'm sorry." Robert keeps saying and Aaron shakes his head. "Not even from Ed?" Robert dares to say and Aaron sees that the colour is back in his cheeks.

He suddenly doesn't know what to say.

"I haven't said yet but, I'm proud of you for loosening up around him." Robert just looks at Aaron's face and he isn't giving anything away. "I saw ya kiss." He has to say and Aaron holds his breath.

"Yeah." And suddenly he's shy.

Robert smiles a little and then stands. "You looked good together. Happy."

And Aaron's heart races because it seems like Robert's getting ideas that involve arrows.

"Cheers." Aaron says and he won't tell him that he blew him up to sit in a cold pavilion for hours.

"I should head up." Robert looks towards the ceiling and Aaron nods. "Thanks. For listening." He says.

And he goes.

Writes,

_'Aaron's a good listener. Aaron touched me and I didn't hurt us after a while. Aaron held my hand.'_

And then,

_'Aaron looked smitten when I mentioned Ed.'_

 

~*~

 

"Hey Ed, it's me. Erm. I can make it tonight you know? I'm sorry for - you know not answering yesterday. Something came up." Aaron's chewing his gum for dear life and then he hears his mum coming through the door. "Call me when you get this yeah?"

Chas moves passed Aaron and flicks the kettle on before turning back and crossing her arms over.

"I was trying to call you last night." She says. "Ed came looking for ya but you weren't here." She shrugs and Aaron gulps hard.

"You keeping tabs on me?" Aaron tilts his head and Chas widens her eyes.

"No. Of course not, I just was wondering where you'd gone that's all. He seemed under the impression that you were going out. Like you said." Her eyes on him and she's being all annoying.

So he grabs his coat and heads for the door.

"You weren't with Robert by any chance? He was missing n'all?"

Aaron turns, knows what she's trying to do and his expression gives it away.

She tuts and he scowls and apparently -

"You blew off hot Ed for mopey Robert?"

Aaron knows how it sounds, he's fully aware what he was doing yesterday. He just couldn't stop it.

"It wasn't like that. He was upset over his mum and Andy and -"

Chas rolls her eyes. "That's not any of your problem. You're meant to be a part of his job not some hang on -"

And the way she says it makes Aaron feel ridiculously insecure so he's flying out of the room before she says anything else.

Because she doesn't have a clue about him and Robert.

 

~*~

 

Robert is nearly crushed by Vic as she attempts to hug him.

She backs away though and remembers herself and Robert watches her give him this watery grin.

"Didn't think you'd show your face again."

And he didn't mean to scare her like that but he usually does and she always looks heartbroken about the prospect of not seeing her brother again.

He smiles a little, lounges on her sofa and then breathes out slowly.

"Yeah well, Aaron came and found me." The way he says it makes it sound like they had this romantic meeting when in reality Aaron and him tried not to freeze to death in a pavilion.

Vic holds her tea in one hand and a custard cream in the other and the way she widens her eyes makes Robert think she's going to drop one of the two.

"He said sorry for not knowing about mum, he shouldn't have said sorry." He frowns against it. "But he did and then he listened to the whole sorry story."

Vic gulps, shuffles down on the sofa and places a hand on her lip as she sips her tea. "That's - that's nice. He's not usually like that."

Robert blinks, almost stares into nothing. "Yeah well, it's a different story when he's with me."

And _yeah_ , that's not the wisest thing to say, and Vic seems to think so too because -

She goes to speak and then Adam and his giant floppy self comes hurdling in laughing his head off with Aaron behind him.

"Bet she was fuming mate. You blew him off yesterday. I think she likes Ed more than _you_ do." Adam's joking and Aaron sighs.

"Yeah mate, I know. I was only trying to cheer him up and -"

The door opens and Robert raises to his feet as Aaron stares at him in shock.

"Oh." Adam makes it awkward of course. "Uh, we were just -"

Robert gulps, "I should be heading off."  
He doesn't really raise his head because suddenly he's hit with this realisation that Aaron had foolishly chosen to stay with him and didn't have fun with Ed.

It means _too_ much and suddenly he wants to start getting his arrows working and do something about how he feels.

Put an end to it.

"We were going to have that cake I made?" Vic says, and she's almost testing Robert, he knows.

She's saying, stay and tell me what I just thought was bullshit nonsense.

And he gives in under the weight of it.

"You two can stop by and have some too. There's plenty."

And Aaron casts a look to Robert before smiling faintly and nodding his head.

 

~*~

 

The cake is a bit on the dry side but Robert smiles and calls it smashing. He notices that Adam just wolfs his slice down and lets out a soft sigh when he's done.

Apparently that's enough to make Vic aware that it went down well.

Aaron on the other hand, sort of just pinches at it slowly, takes dramatic gulps and looks all sketchy and Robert probably knows that he's awkward now that Robert _knows_ about Ed.

And the fact that they shared a _moment_ yesterday.

A weird ridiculous one.

"So. Ed." Vic leans over. "Mega fit. Athletic. I'd be jumping on him if he didn't play for the other team." She says, moving to cut Adam another slice and his face falls.

"Good to know." Adam says lamely and Aaron shuffles a little.

"You and him going good?" Vic presses and Aaron sort of wants to ask what the hell she _wants_ to here but he holds it back.

"Yeah." Aaron looks down at his face and there's still nothing from Ed. He hasn't answered the message he left him _ages_ ago now. "We're good."

"They look good together don't they?" Vic says and Robert wants to roll his eyes but instead he nods because she's so flipping transparent and she doesn't have to do this.

Robert sighs. "Reckon he might be the one." He throws out just to see Vic's face and she seems settled suddenly.

Aaron is frazzled but you know, who cares?

Vic stands, Adam following her into the kitchen as they wash plates or snog or whatever and -

Yeah the sound of kissing is heard and Robert blinks quickly as Aaron stares at him from where he's sitting.

"How comes you didn't say?" Robert says suddenly, his wings poking through his leather jacket as usual.

Aaron doesn't even have an answer.

"Was it 'cause you felt sorry for me? Was that it?"

And _no_ , it wasn't that.

"You needed me. I - it wasn't like I felt sorry for ya, I just didn't want to leave ya the way you were." Aaron tries to explain, face red.

But all Robert can gather is the pity drenched in his words.

It makes his eyes flicker and then suddenly Aaron's knocking his knee and looking all serious.

"I wanted to stay." He says and Robert just stares at him for a few seconds before Adam's coming back inside and Aaron jumps up and says he's going.

And Robert watches him go, watches Adam walk him out and chat by the front door and Vic just stands by the wall looking at her brother.

He breaks,

"What you _think_ , is wrong. And you know it." He points, and she sighs.

"Well I _thought_ I did."

Because he'd told her the truth ages ago, he's not capable of experiencing, evoking or expressing real human mortal Feelings.

Robert waves a hand out. "I was emotional and Aaron was there. Nothing else so just - butt out." He says and he flies out of the house before she can make him feel anything else he doesn't want to.

 

~*~

 

His head hurts from everything being too much and he feels his wings sag against the bed.

He's got a few hours before Aaron finishes work and he can resume being his wing man.

Not that he wants to, because Aaron's weird.

He was weird for staying last night and then lying about it and he was weird for pretending that he honestly wanted to stay in the first place.

Robert feels the door open and Tilly and Pearl arrive, they've got their eyes wide with concern and Robert supposes laying on his bed like this makes him look a little like a fallen angel or something.

Cursed or some shit and he feels it.

"What do you two want?" He asks, no heat just curiosity and then Tilly reminds him of their monthly Love In ritual.

It's pretty pathetic but as Cupid he sort of has to sit on this red throne and listen to _all_ the Angels and their research about who loves who.

It's usually a lot of unrequited bullshit but sometimes a story catches his heart and he asks Clarissa if he can move out of his realm and use his arrows for a good cause.

The last time he did it was with Ross and Donna.

They're happy, she's expecting and -

He owed her some happiness after the heartache he put her through.

Robert rolls his eyes and finds himself on the throne a few minutes later, some little angel steps forward and she's talking about Charity Dingle.

He almost wants to tell her to move on but then she mentions Vanessa the Vet and he supposes no one knows about their _dalliances_.

He mulls it over for a second and pictures Charity Dingle _happy_.

"I'll put it forward to Clarissa."

And they all clap and call him amazing and yeah it used to make him feel important but now he only feels numb against it.

 

~*~

 

Clarissa's door is closed when he knocks, and she opens it with a whisper.

Robert waits for a second before he comes further inside and sees her on her throne, grass tickling his feet as he approaches her.

He wants to tell her about Charity but the way she looks at him makes him think she's got more on her mind.

"Have I done something?" Robert asks, feels something drumming over and over in his mind and she sighs.

"I'm worried Robert."

And never is.

"Why?" He says, eyes flickering.

"Victoria seems to be under this mad impression that -" she looks away, her voice still soft and gentle but making Robert's heart _jump_.

"That what?" But he knows, he _knows_ what she's talking about.

"That you may have started to fall for Aaron?

And no one has said it.

So it hasn't been _real_ yet.

But -

Robert scoffs quickly, doesn't even let the thought fester. "She's got it wrong. He's with Ed?"

Clarissa stands suddenly and walks towards Robert, her wings turn a minty colour and there are specs of golden glitter on her face.

"I know that, and you know that. Don't you?"

Robert blinks. "Of course." He whispers, head slowly moving towards the ground and then he lifts it. "What have I got to do to prove that -"

Clarissa frowns. "Well, you _know_ what -"

"It's too soon." Robert suddenly blurts out, "Aaron's petrified every time I mention Ed being the one. It's too much for him. I can't shoot him yet -"

And Clarissa seems to understand that.

"You could just play Cupid that little bit more though." She moves a hand through Robert's hair and sighs. "Organise a date night or something nice. Considering you _don't_ feel anything at all?"

Robert knows what she's doing but he also knows that it is virtually impossible for him to feel _anything_ even along the lines of _affection_ for a mortal.

One who he doesn't share blood or a soul or anything with.

It's ridiculous really.

"Yeah. Of course I will. I'll get right onto it actually." He says, all assertive and he feels nineteen again and wanting to get this lovey dovey shit over and done with as soon as possible.

"Good." She tells time, produces a butterfly out of nowhere, beautiful with transparent skin.

Robert nods at her and then goes to leave before turning back round.

"Charity and Vanessa." He poses, Clarissa smiles and then nods her head.

"Approved."

And Robert gets his bow out.

 

~*~

 

The first thing he has the pleasure of seeing is Charity all but dry humping Vanessa behind the bar of the pub.

He also gets to see Marlon's gobsmacked face so there's that.

It makes him laugh and then Vic is pulling him to the side.

"That your doing?" She smirks, almost in awe of her brother and Robert is taken aback by her soft look of almost praise. "Never seen Charity look so happy."

And Robert smiles faintly. "Yeah well, I have no idea what you're on about."

She pours him a pint and tells him to come through to the back because she's on her break.

He sits down on the sofa slowly and looks at the car magazines messily sprawled out on the table.

Everything screams,

'Aaron's doing' and he smiles faintly.

"I wanted to say sorry for earlier." Vic gets out, playing with her hands and everything.

Robert frowns before he understands what she means and he sighs against it.

"I didn't mean to make you upset or anything. It was just an observation I suppose." And Robert's eyes widen. "A _wrong_ one obviously." Vic flaps her arms around and Robert forgives her instantly.

And they fall into small talk about nothing as she eats a sandwich and then Marlon is calling her back into the kitchen.

"I might stick around if that's -"

He doesn't even know why he's asking. He's staying and Vic just nods before walking away.

Robert relaxes down a little more on the sofa and sticks on Grand Designs before the door goes dramatically and Aaron is suddenly standing there in greasy overalls.

Robert could almost wallop him because -

"What are you doin' here?" Aaron's eyes are wide and he shrinks against the disappointment on Robert's face.

"You need to get out of those clothes." Robert suddenly stands and Aaron's eyes are even widen than before and his mouth goes dry. Robert suddenly knows what he said and he blushes. "Ed's going to be here soon."

And _maybe_ Robert sort of pushed the Angels into planting nice thoughts about Aaron into Ed's head.

Aaron doesn't get that though. "What?" He pulls a hand into his pocket and looks at his phone. "He hasn't messaged me -"

"Yeah well, he's on his way so ..." Robert waves a hand up towards the stairs and Aaron looks from left to right over and over again. "It's your chance to put it right."

Aaron makes this soft sort of smile appear on his face and he nods.

"Fingers crossed." He gulps down and yeah,

Fingers crossed indeed, Robert thinks.

 

~*~

 

They don't go far, end up in some bar in town and the lighting is warm and dim in the place.

Ed's understandable about everything and Aaron finds something in his heart pulling towards his kindness.

"You're - thanks." Aaron blurts out and blushes hard as Ed stares at him. "For getting it, I mean - I'm aware of how all over the place I am."

And it's not like he thinks he's some _catch_.

Ed's the catch. He's the successful, charming, kind rugby player with zero ego and tons of patience.

"Not _all_ over the place." Ed says, draws his hand out a little and Aaron holds it tightly.

And they smile at each other over the table before Ed leans over and Aaron kisses him gently before pulling away.

He's not into PDA and the redness of his face says as much. Ed smirks against it and then his eyes flicker.

"Another beer?" He says and Aaron nods.

He stays for another and then they're walking out of the bar laughing about something the bartender said.

"Yeah well, it's a shame you're gay isn't it? The cheek of her."

Because she's given Ed her number and Aaron felt a tug of something he thinks is jealously.

"I know, it's like she forgot I was sitting there with my -"

And everything becomes heavy suddenly and Aaron gulps hard. They both stop and Ed pulls a hand over his face in embarrassment.

"I mean -"

Aaron feels his heart race, "I know what you meant." He whispers softly, eyes widening and suddenly he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel.

He likes Ed. He likes so many things about it.

"Forget I even -"

"Shut up." Aaron says, and for the first time in too long he lets go and grabs Ed by his jumper.

He kisses him with a heat about him which makes Ed's hand start to wander and it's not long before they're breathless against a wall and Ed has his hands down Aaron's top and -

Aaron pulls away so suddenly that Ed nearly falls back. He catches his arm though, balances him and Ed looks towards the floor.

"Sorry I - I don't want to move too fast." Aaron stumbles out and there's already tears in his eyes. "I like ya."

And Ed raises his head at that. "I like you too." He says faintly. "A lot."

Aaron bites at his lip, expects Ed to tell him 'that's why I can't wait, let's just leave things'

But he doesn't. Instead he comes forward and kisses Aaron's cheek.

"I want ya, but - I'll wait?" Ed says, voice filled with grit. Aaron just stares at him and his eyes flicker and -

He wonders if Ed could be the one.

"Thanks." Aaron whispers and he feels this lightness travel through him.

 

~*~

 

His mum tries to peck his head about how it went and he brushes her off with talk about being tired.

He's on the stairs when he hears Charity teasing him and when he looks down Vanessa is there telling her to stop being mean.

He frowns at them a little, all soft and touchy feely.

"I'm just saying, Ed's clearly worn him out hasn't he?" Charity says, _again_ and Aaron could swing for her but decides to just quietly seethe in his room instead.

Only he can hear Charity and Vanessa fumbling in her room down the hall and shakes his head against it.

He suddenly wants space from it, from all these thoughts swirling through his head and he keeps thinking about the way they left things.

Ed waved him off with a smile on his face and a promise that they'd see each other soon and Aaron had genuinely wanted that to be the case.

Aaron moves a hand up and touches his lips, drawn into the thoughts of how it felt to be kissed by someone who cared for him, wanted him.

He keeps thinking until there's a knock on the door and Noah's standing there with a scowl on his face.

"Can I play Xbox in 'ere? I'd rather not here -"

And Charity lets out this squeal. It makes Aaron open the door wider and Noah smiles out a thanks before he's sitting at the bottom of Aaron's bed and they're playing Fifa.

They don't usually say a lot, there's love there, Dingle love, and Aaron wouldn't think twice about punching someone if they said anything bad about Noah.

But they're alike, have wild crazy mothers and they seek to get each other without having to say too much at all.

Only now though, Noah's saying so much and maybe thinking that it's polite to ask.

"So, is that Ed a good rugby player then?"

And Aaron tries concentrating on getting the ball to his player.

"Uh yeah I suppose." He shrugs before clearing his throat.

"M'mum says he's your boyfriend or something." Noah says, and something sticks in Aaron's throat.

"Yeah, or something." Aaron shrugs, tries not to think too much about it and what it mean and then Noah's thrashing him a few times. "Think we're done here mate." He says and just as he does he heads Vanessa going down the stairs. "You're safe to go."

And Noah passed him the controllers. "Thanks." He says before he goes to leave. "You think Ed could get us tickets to see him play?"

Aaron smiles almost faintly and then rolls his eyes. "Get out." He says jokingly.

 

~*~

 

The night creeps even faster than Aaron expects it to and before he knows it he's feeling his head fall back against the bed and it's probably time to get _into_ the bed and _sleep_.

He goes to move and then suddenly sees Robert at the edge of his bed. He's sitting there smiling at him and then he waves.

"Sorry, just wanted to check in before my shift ended." Robert says softly, sort of eager to know how it went, sort of dreading it at the same time.

Aaron shuffles a little. "It went alright." He says. "We tried out that new bar in town."

Robert's eyebrow raises. "Oh the one with the shit lighting?"

And Aaron smiles. "Yeah." He whispers, and then he plays with his hands. "It was nice."

Robert takes it in before frowning. "What?" He says. "You're hiding something, I know it."

Aaron just raises his head, draws his knees up towards his chest and gulps.

Robert suddenly feels this guilt build up inside him, he promised himself he wouldn't watch over the date and now he's starting to think that -

"He didn't - didn't _touch_ you or anything." And heat rises in his chest, up into his wings and they turn this murky red colour.

"Yeah." Aaron says and Robert's eyes widen. "Not like that, I mean. We were kissing, and - and he pulled his hand up my shirt. I just pushed him away." Aaron frowns, he didn't want to have to but he did and it ruined everything.

Him and his stupid self ruined everything like usual.

Robert gulps hard. "It's alright." He says kindly. "Look. Honestly, you're making steps in the right direction. You know you are?"

Aaron just twists at his lip and wills himself not to cry. "Am I?" He hisses, "Because I thought I was - and then he touches me and I lose it!"

The air is thick suddenly and Aaron hates how Robert knows exactly what to push and pull to get all of this emotion out.

It's almost unfair, Aaron almost hates him for it.

"You were just - unsure about - about where it would go if you carried on." Robert pulls a hand out and starts flapping it around. Aaron rolls his eyes against it, brings his knees to his chest tighter this time and he slowly shakes his head.

The moon is out suddenly, its whiteness pouring over Robert's frame and making him even more angelic than he already does.

"I wanted him, I - wanted to sleep with him I think." Aaron frowns a little, "I didn't feel guilt. I didn't think of Jackson." He says quickly and Robert struggles not to wince against his words.

"But if you stopped him then -"

"I know why I stopped him." There's something so definite in his tone and Robert frowns against it, shuffles a little further towards Aaron and tries to coax it out of him.

"Because of what then? You think he doesn't want _you_?"

Aaron shakes his head again.

"He won't when he sees -" and he didn't want to cry, he didn't want to but -

"Sees what Aaron? Aaron -"

"My scars! The deformed freak show he's been fooling around with for the past few weeks for absolutely no point at all."

And Aaron feels tears cascade down his face as he tries to bury himself down into the bed.

He tries, fingers shaking as his hands pull the covers over him but Robert is there suddenly and he has a hand on the sheets.

He stops Aaron gathering them up and has tears of his own pricking in his eyes because he knows about the scars.

He _knows_.

It's hardly easy to ignore them and they make him sad.

"Aaron." Robert says steadily and the younger man looks at him through his wet lashes. "You're not deformed, _don't_ say that okay? You're - you're amazing." He blurts out.

Aaron feels his heart do something funny and he looks away. "Shut up."

He almost squirms as he says it but then Robert shakes his head.

"No I meant it. And Ed, well he's lucky to have ya."

Aaron looks at Robert suddenly, sees their knees almost touching and he can't breathe right.

Nothing feels like it did a few seconds ago.

"You think?"

Robert smiles faintly, "You're the most amazing bloke I know Aaron." He says, forgets himself and everything else and just speaks his mind.

He'll regret this later.

Aaron keeps staring at him, and then down at Robert's lips and suddenly, so suddenly, Ed can't be the one and -

It happens so quickly that it hurts.

Aaron leans in, closes his eyes and takes a breath and Robert just leans away.

He clears his throat and something drains from his face.

He doesn't know what he's supposed to do, and suddenly he thinks Aaron's had too many.

He has, he _has_.

"Aaron -"

Aaron is suddenly bright red. "I - Robert, I didn't -"

"I should be going." Robert says, shakes at his hair and looks towards the window. "It's late." He whispers.

Aaron doesn't even look at him as he goes and something sort of bursts in Robert's chest as he tries restlessly to get to sleep.

He struggles to write anything in his book.

He knows he can't even begin to try and write Aaron's ridiculous accident.

So he settles for,

_'I need to get my arrows working.'_

 

~*~

 

Aaron's an idiot.

He's the first one to admit that and that's why he's deciding that he's going to absolutely forget about what possessed him the night before.

He's wiped it from his memory, it's gone and Robert calling him amazing and making him feel things isn't real anymore.

It can't be real.

Because he was drunk last night, and emotional over Ed and he didn't mean to do anything.

And it's not like Robert wanted him to do anything either.

So he's _safe_ to assume that there's absolutely no point at all in trying to think about it over and over again.

Aaron wraps the towel around himself as he thinks about it, stares at himself in the mirror and shakes his head against his thoughts.

"Get a grip." Aaron tells himself before Cain is ringing him simply to tell him to get his arse into work.

He sighs against it before getting his overalls on and ruffling his hair a little.

It'll have to do.

 

~*~

 

Cain's almost in a worse mood than he is and apparently it's because Debbie has gone on her holidays and taken the kids with her and Andy won't stop pecking his head.

But Aaron knows it's still about Moira.

He watches them talk tensely as he fixes the wheel of a car and he gulps hard. It's so clear to absolutely everyone that they're meant to be together, that they love each other or whatever but they're so stubborn and blind.

Aaron wills himself to never ever ever love someone that much.

He's thinking about just that as his phone starts vibrating against his thigh and Ed's ringing him.

Aaron hovers over the green sign for a second before pressing down and holding the phone to his ear.

Ed's got another game in a few days, he wants Aaron to turn up again and he's glad that it isn't awkward between them.

"Sounds great." He says. "Oh can I bring someone?" And Noah's going to be made up about this.

"Amazing." Aaron smiles as Ed says he'll work something out. "Thanks. I'll - I'll see you then?"

"Then." Ed says, finalises and Aaron smiles against it before hanging up.

Aaron manages to shove his phone back into his pocket before Cain's coming back into the garage. He drags his head down and then Andy's coming in, mouthing off about Debbie taking his kids without his permission.

Aaron wonders why he isn't bored of being so whiny.

"I could go to the police." Andy almost warns and that's when Aaron scoffs. "You got something to say?"

Aaron hasn't heard an issue with Andy for years but -

"Yeah. You." He says. "Dead boring."

Andy scowls. "Bit like your love life." He says, "How's my brother eh?"

And Aaron knows what he's trying to say, he knows he's getting at Robert being his Cupid and not what happened the night before but -

It makes him see red, he drags himself up and shoves Andy aggressively out of the garage and tells him to get lost.

"And _stay_ lost you idiot." He shouts and Cain scoffs at him.

He sips at a tea and Aaron scowls, would have wanted one for himself but whatever.

"Who rattled your cage?" Cain says, frowns a little and Aaron holds his breath.

Robert Jacob Sugden.

Victoria and Andy's sister.

Cupid.

Aaron shrugs. "Nothing." He says, "Fancy a sandwich from the cafe?"

And Aaron welcomes the silence as he walks there, he's already forgotten what Cain wanted and he'll have to settle for a bacon sarnie.

 

~*~

 

Robert is hiding from the Angels for a reason.

One reason only.

What happened last night.

He shakes a hand through his hair and sighs hard, his wings are sticking out over his leather jacket as he looks in the mirror and he suddenly hears the door open.

He cringes against the sight of flowers growing against his feet and he feels Clarissa coming through the door.

"I know what you're going to say."

Robert can't even bring himself to lie about what happened, Aaron leaned towards him, and his wings turned bright pink and he nearly leaned in and -

Clarissa doesn't say anything and he turns to look at her quickly.

"I know." Robert whispers, Aaron nearly kissed him. "Okay, I know what it looked like but -"

Make excuses.

Clarissa sighs, "You know what you have to do." She says. "Robert. This hasn't happened before to you."

And that's true.

He slowly sits back down on the bed and sighs. "I don't - I don't _feel_ anything like that. It's just -"

Things are confusing suddenly and Aaron didn't help. He didn't help at all.

"You need to shoot him Robert." Clarissa is so calm about it and he frowns at her.

"He's not ready." Robert shakes his head, "That's why he was in a state last night, 'cause he -"

Clarissa frowns at him, her wings suddenly golden and transparent. "You're forgetting your role Robert. Find love for them. That's all." She reminds him and everything feels heavy suddenly.

His eyes flicker and he drops his head before she's disappearing and he's daring to fly down.

 

~*~

 

Adam's chewing Aaron's ear off about Vic and he isn't even listening properly.

Until,

"Did ya here? I said I want to ask her to marry me."

And that's -

 _Sweet_?

It really is but they're so young that it makes Aaron frown.

"I know what you're going to say, but when you know, you just know and you shouldn't have to wait years until it's _correct_ to do." Adam's got his feet up on the sofa and he pulls them down quickly as Brenda pulls a face.

Aaron nods slowly. "Suppose." And that manages to steer the conversation onto him and Ed.

"How's it going? You and Ed the Shed."

Aaron sighs against it and apparently that's not what Adam wanted to hear so he sighs hard and slaps at Aaron's thigh.

"He - we - got a bit heated." Aaron admits and Adam pulls his face like he expected things to. "And I pushed him away." He admits, and for a second he thinks about telling him about what he nearly did with Robert.

He feels it building up in his chest but Adam is loud and brash and waves a hand up.

"Did you not want to?" Adam asks and Aaron did, and then he tried to kiss an Angel or a God or -

 _Not_ a God, that would do wonders for Robert's giant ego.

"I did. I just -" he gulps hard. "I do." He says, shrugs a little and Adam smiles faintly.

"Well then, I think you'll be getting very lucky soon." Adam is a ball of energy constantly and Aaron is thankful for him more than he cares to ever ever admit.

He even makes him forget about Robert as they get scowls from Bob.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's pretty proud of himself really because it's nearly half six and he's managed to go through the whole day without seeing Robert.

He's sitting in the pavilion, mainly because he wants a smoke and Chas smacks his arm whenever she seems him smoking one.

It's not as cold as Aaron assumed and he huffs out a sigh as he stretches back on the sort of makeshift sofa that reminds him of the days when he used to try and impress Vic here.

He cringes against it, stubs out his cigarette and stands slowly before buckling as he sees Robert flying down towards him.

He's got his eyes warm and soft and Aaron gulps hard against the beating in his chest in favour of a scowl.

"What you doin' here?" He asks, hands suddenly buried deep insides his pockets as he looks at Robert.

Robert's eyes flicker. "Thought I'd check in." He says and Aaron sort of can't look at him.

He's dragged back to what he did and why and everything is too much.

"Yeah well, nothing to report."

Well, he is going to a match soon with Noah.

He still wants Ed, feels a tug when he's in the room.

And then Robert comes along and manages to ruin it.

He _ruins_ it.

Robert nods, sits down on the stool and there's this absolute silence between them. It's soft at first and then stretches out into something horribly tense and Aaron can't handle it.

"I need to get going." He decides, keeps his head down as he walks towards the door. Only Robert stands and tells him to stop.

"Aaron, wait - I thought we could talk." Robert tries, only Aaron winces against it and sighs. "

"We _just_ have." Aaron explains, waves his arms around a little and Robert closes his eyes slowly before opening them again.

Suddenly he's meeting Aaron for the first time and he's shutting him out and -

"Aaron, don't do this." He says, shuffles on his feet and Aaron pretends he's clueless. "We - don't you think we should at least talk about -"

And _no_.

Aaron's eyes widen and he turns red, _God_ no he doesn't want to try and talk about _that_.

Aaron gulps, backs towards the door. "No. Look, just - I'll see you later okay?"

Only Robert keeps pecking his head, keeps making his heart _ache_ and he wants to go.

"Aaron, you leaned in to -"

And Aaron's shaking, digs his hands into his pocket and he presses himself against the door. "I was trying to flatter you." He blurts out, eyes wide. "You idiot."

And Robert gulps hard against it.

"You think I _actually_ wanted to? Just - just tryna keep ya on side mate." He's still shaking, _shouting_ now and Robert's face falls.

It falls because -

He believes him?

Aaron lets out this laugh, "Get over yourself Robert. I was - you were being _nice_ and I thought that a little kiss would make ya think that - I don't know." He puts a hand on his hip and then drops it. "Mum was right, you hating me wouldn't make ya care about who I end up with would it?"

Robert drops his head and Aaron's still babbling.

"And now I know you care so ..."

"So it was a test?" Robert dares to say over the sound of the wind blowing outside.

Aaron's eyes dart for a second and he feels tears build in his eyes. "Yeah. I - I just wanted to see if you cared."

"But I _didn't_ kiss ya?" Robert argues, lines forming on his face.

Aaron bites his lip and his breathing quickens. "Yeah but - you said things that made it clear."

"But -"

"Robert! How many more times? I _don't_ fancy ya, I didn't want to kiss you. As _if_." Aaron scowls, and Robert backs down.

He backs down and Aaron blows out a breath before he's pulling the door open and he's this ridiculous teenage with mountains of angst.

And Robert blinks slowly as he watches Aaron go.

He wants to call him a prick but he doesn't.

Instead he flys up and doesn't even bother to write anything in his book until,

' _It was a test. Keep calm and chill out Sugden.'_

 

~*~

 

He doesn't see Aaron until a few days later and when he does Aaron looks like he's shocked and relieved at the same time.

His shoulders melt down and he smiles faintly before clearing his throat.

"You been busy then?" Aaron asks, and Robert shrugs out a response about the Angels and needing his help and Leyla pecking his head about stuff.

Really, it's because Aaron makes him feel strange things and he gives him these weird tests for absolutely no reason and Robert would rather just watch him from the cloud sometimes.

Most of the time actually.

But then Aaron pulls him back down to Earth. Literally.

Aaron nods slowly, wipes a hand over his overalls and they stand there staring at each other until Charity and Vanessa walk past.

They're snogging and apparently it's their perfect passed time, even now when they've got their kids with them - both under five as well - swinging in between them.

"God, you've made them look like a little family." Aaron can't quite believe it but then no one can really.

The way Charity looks at Vanessa makes Aaron miss Jackson and that kills.

Robert shrugs his shoulders. "Just happy." He says, and then he kicks at the gravel and Aaron is staring at him again.

He does that a lot now and Robert hates it.

"Robert." He whispers and then Robert is slowly raising his head just so he can see Aaron's eyes. "Can we go back to being mates?"

He's holding a spanner in his hand, turning it over and over and holding his breath because Robert's looking at him like he'd rather do anything else.

"We are." Robert bristles, and Aaron doesn't want to get emotional _yet_ -

"I just - I think I ruined things and then I shouted at ya and - I don't want to be that person anymore." Aaron's saying, all mature and sorry and Robert thinks back to the boy he slammed the door shut and told him to stop overthinking things and just acted out for no real reason and -

"You're not." Robert says simply and Aaron smiles.

' _You're amazing Aaron.'_

Aaron nods out a thanks and then he's gulping hard again and causing Robert to speak.

"So, Ed?" Robert asks, "How is it going?"

And they text a lot, Aaron likes it, he supposes.

"Good, going to a game tonight actually." Aaron nearly forget with Robert standing here not meaning to grill him but almost grilling him.

Robert raises an eyebrow. "Ah, good. That's - good." He says and he lets out this slow breath before he looks up the road.

"I'm going to go see Vic." He points towards her house and Aaron nods.

"Yeah. Okay, I'll see you later?"

And Robert turns away.

Aaron sighs against what he feels.

 

~*~

 

Vic's pleased to see him of course, she's made him a cup of tea and they're sitting on the sofa, gossiping about stuff he doesn't really care about.

"You'd care if you bothered to show your face. Why'd ya not come down for a few days?" Vic looks like she's thinking it's because of her and it isn't.

He tells her that much but then she sighs.

"So Aaron then? Are you two not friends anymore? Because _honestly_ I knew from the second you tried to help him that you'd clash."

And clash they did.

And then they were mates.

And then Aaron was being a twat and weird and making Robert's head hurt.

"Yeah, well. I don't know, he's just - unpredictable." Because that's a good word for him, Robert shuffles down into the sofa and sips at the tea in his hand. "But he apologised anyway."

"For what?" Vic suddenly says and Robert's whole body says _lie_ , so he does.

"Being a twat. Keep up." And she leaves it.

"He's going out to a match later actually." Robert says and Vic's eyes flicker.

"That's good isn't it?" Vic says, cheeks rosy and Robert gulps.

"Yep."

"God Rob, you could be human again soon."

And that _still_ makes him giddy.

 

~*~

 

Some sort of softness starts to sprout between them, Robert can feel it and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do so he just sort of ignores it.

He's hugging a bowl of chips and has his hand on Aaron's phone and he's also laying on his bed and watching Aaron try and decide what to wear.

He's absolutely hopeless though.

Of course he is.

"Listen, how many more times mate." Robert says, and he's reading rugby rules off the phone. It's meant to be some sort of quiz on the game and Aaron's supposed to get the answers right. "Do I have to remind you that these are for _kids_?"

Apparently he doesn't, and Aaron swots him with his jumper for it.

"I know the basics. Bedsides, Noah knows more than me. He'll help. And I'm just watching, not having an exam."

Robert's eyes flicker. "Alright, just tryna help." And he's meant to sound uninterested and distance but it just makes Aaron feel guilty.

"Sorry." He says and Robert waves him off before looking at Aaron.

He's gone for a light blue jumper, checkered pattern running across it and Robert approves.

He smiles at him before he's squinting. "You seem nervous?" He says and Aaron is.

He wasn't going to go and tell him but -

"Ed said I could stay at his tonight considering the game finishes late." Aaron says, waves his hands around a little like he's flustered and suddenly his neck is red.

"And what about Noah?" Robert asks, tries to ignore what that means.

"Charity's being a parent. Picking him up." Robert doesn't say anything about that and Aaron settles on the bed next to him.

"Do - Aaron you don't have to do anything. You know that." Robert reassures only - "You _do_ though, don't ya?"

And his heart shouldn't hurt suddenly but it does and Aaron's eyes flicker.

"Maybe, I - I want him like that, I _see_ him like that." Aaron's babbling and he hates how talking to his very own Cupid about this is sort of impossible.

Robert feels everything in his heart suddenly ache but he smiles at him again and Aaron has to look away.

"You do what feels right, trust me, you'll figure it out."

And Aaron, he trusts Robert more than he ever will admit to the smug idiot.

It's basically snowing now and Noah's screaming and cheering and Aaron sort of wants the ground to swallow him up.

He's never seen Noah so animated and he's smile down at him if he wasn't so flipping cold.

Aaron's only when his Bin Bag coat - Robert is a dick for calling it that and Aaron can't forget the name now - and he's jumping back and forth on his feet as he attempts to keep warm.

He squints up and sees the screen and Ed's there in his shorts and muscles and Aaron's mouth hangs open just a little.

And then Ed's running fast, pelting down the grass and getting a try and yeah only Aaron jumps up with Noah and cheers as well.

Because,

Ed looks straight at him as he celebrates and Aaron feels _special_ and that really feels good.

He does, and he's thankful for that.

He's also thankful that it stops snowing and he gets a beer during half time, it makes all the cheers and the swearing around him more bearable and by the time the match is finished and Ed's team has won, he's in a reasonably better mood.

Noah's had the time of his life too so that's something.

"Cheers Aaron." He says, scarf tucked under his parka coat and a wide grin on his face.

Aaron smiles, waves a hand out as they wait for Charity to show up for him outside the grounds.

It's _late_ now and Aaron can't stop thinking about the fact that Robert can't show his face now.

"It's alright. Glad you had fun." He says and then he's spotting Charity's car. Only she's not inside it, Vanessa is and she's all smiley and happy and lets Aaron know that Charity is at home making them all tea.

Aaron's eyes almost widen, not just because it's nearly half eleven but also because -

"M'mum's cooked?"

Vanessa nods and then laughs a little as she talks through the window. "We didn't want to eat without ya, come on!"

And Aaron watches him go, watches Noah finally seem happy and settled and it's mad to think that love caused that.

The love of a good woman was able to change the ways of Charity Dingle.

Aaron can't help but be in secret awe of Robert, proud of the good he can do.

 

~*~

 

Ed's coming out of the changing rooms a few minutes later and pressing a kiss to Aaron's lips before they're walking to his car and going back to his flat.

It's what Aaron thought it would be, stylish yet that little bit clinical as well. It's got rugby trophies everywhere and pictures of family and he smiles at them all.

"It's a nice place." Aaron says softly, and when he turns around Ed has a beer in hand and passes it over. "Cheers." He says and then he's sitting on Ed's sofa.

"So, did Noah like the game then?" Ed says, hand gestures galore really.

Aaron shuffles upwards. " _Yeah_. Made his year mate." He smiles and then looks a little more serious. "You didn't have to do that. But - thank you."

Ed's eyes flicker. "Yeah, well I care you idiot." He says, knocks Aaron's knee and the younger man sighs.

"You shouldn't. Not about me."

And yeah that comes out of nowhere at all.

Ed frowns. "How comes?" And he's so cool and relaxed and Aaron feels safe against him.

He's also pretty fit as well.

"I'm a disaster mate. Damaged." Aaron says, gulps the beer down and then sighs. "Sorry."

"Don't have to be. You could always, you know, tell me?" Ed says, "I'm not pressuring you or anything -"

Aaron looks up at him and down at his lips. "I know, you wouldn't do that."

Ed smiles a little. "I'm a nice guy Aaron. Haven't you heard."

"Shut up." Aaron says, laughs just a little and then Ed is kissing him slowly and then Aaron is kissing him hard back and things are going *that way and Aaron, he wants it to and -

He pulls away and stands, drags his hand down for Ed to hold. "I need - I need to show you something."

And his heart drums in his chest.

"I - I used to - cut myself and I need you to -"

He expects Ed to look horrified but he isn't, instead he just stands and wraps his arms around Aaron and then he's kissing him so hard that Aaron nearly falls back.

"It's okay." Ed whispers, "Aaron, you're -"

'Don't say amazing, don't say -'

"You're brilliant. Gorgeous too." Ed says against his ear and Aaron rolls his eyes.

"Shut up." He says, only Ed holds him closer and -

Aaron's forgotten what it feels like to be like this with someone.

He thinks about it as Ed and him moan through their bodies pulling and pushing at each other and -

He feels special.

 

~*~

 

Robert has his hands in his pockets as he walks into the pub. It's after hours and he expects everyone to be gone, Aaron to be in bed.

He creeps up the stairs and then halts when he hears Charity and Chas.

"Yeah, back to his. Well - he left Noah, 'Ness picked him up."

"So, he went back to his. God. Oh God that has to be good then?" Chas giggles and -

Aaron went back to Ed's.

Aaron went back to Ed's and they're probably fucking each other right now and -

"Yep. Pretty soon babe, Roberto the Cupid will be out of a job!"

And maybe it's the way they talk as if he's not really anything to care about, or the stark realisation of the truth but -

Robert fights against tears all the way up to the clouds, can't believe he risked himself by getting down so late.

And then he's roughly pulling out his book and writing one thing down,

_'Aaron went back to Ed's.'_

And nothing else means a thing anymore, but he knows, he knows exactly how he feels now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know why you thought if you're still reading! Of course this is a giant slow burn but honestly Aaron and Robert are going to be together and making a lot of progress very very soon lmao!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert acts out and him and Aaron give in to temptation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

 

Robert blinks out the light which is being poured over his eyes and he cringes against the sound of a harp coming towards him.

Suddenly there's glitter falling down the sides of his room and Tilly is in front of him all but jumping on his bed in her excitement.

It takes him a second to realise what the hell she's so animated about and then she's producing the scene of Aaron and Ed in bed together.

It's live footage too.

Aaron wrapped up in Ed's big arms and then slowly smiling as the older man slides out of the bed and tells him that he'll make some breakfast.

He watches Aaron smile as he sits up in the bed.

He _watches_ it happen.

Something almost gets stuck in a Robert's throat and Tilly makes the video vanish with her hand as she smiles at him.

"Robert, you're getting your wings today then! All you have to do it shoot him don't you? Then you'll be -"

Robert climbs out of the bed and shakes at his head before gulping. "Yeah, yeah I suppose. I mean, I should go down and see him."

Tilly nods excitedly and then frowns. "Robert, are you okay?"

And that's a loaded question, one that makes Robert not know where exactly he's supposed to look. He doesn't know how he's supposed to feel either.

Well, he does actually.

He's supposed to be jumping around for joy at the thought of Aaron fucking the kind and successful Ed The Rugby Player.

He's _supposed_ to feel like that, he _does_ , he - he really _does_ -

"I'm fine." Robert says, starts getting ready to descend and then smiles. "I'll see you later okay?"

And then he's gone before Clarissa can grill him on anything.

 

~*~

 

Aaron comes into the pub at half twelve and Chas smiles at him like he's the best thing in the world.

She's grinning and Aaron's winces against her excitement.

"Pint?" She says, keeps her excitement contained as she pours him his drink and Aaron realises he needs to get in their first.

"Okay okay, yes I stayed 'round Ed's, yes you can call him my boyfriend now and _no_ I don't want to give details." Aaron blows out a breath straight after and he's red as Charity approaches with a smug smile on her face.

"God, bet you were at it like rabbits considering how long it's been since -"

And discussing his sex life is probably the worst thing in the world so he waves his hand out and watches Charity disappear as he sips his pint.

And when he looks up, his mum is staring at him with a weird look on her face. "What?" He's asking and she shakes her head.

"Just - well, for a second there I thought you wouldn't give Ed a try." Chas starts to wipe down the bar around Aaron and he frowns. "You know, thought you might have kidded yourself over _Sugden_."

Aaron loses grip on his pint and has to place it on the bar before it falls out of his hand. His mum doesn't even notice and he counts his lucky stars before she looks up and smiles.

"As if." He shrugs out. "We're just mates. That's all."

Chas makes a small sound and then sort of squeals. "Just think, he could shoot ya today and you'd never know."

Aaron's face falls.

_And I'll never see him again._

Why does everyone keep forgetting that?

 

~*~

 

Aaron's dislodging a tyre when Robert shows up.

"Fancy taking a break?" Robert asks, a soft smile on his face and for a second Aaron wonders if he is clueless about what happened last night.

"Uh - yeah I suppose." He's owed one considering Cain's gone AWOL. Aaron wipes his hands over his overalls and then Robert starts walking them towards the bench just outside the village.

"Think we've got a lot to talk about don't you?" Robert's eyebrow wiggles and yep this is unnaturally hard for him but that doesn't mean he gets to cave and just completely ignore what's happened.

Aaron makes a face and gulps as they sit. "Suppose." He whispers and then Robert's asking how it was and he pulls another face. "What sort of question is that?" He asks, and Robert holds his stare for a second.

"The sort of one your Cupid should be asking?" Robert feels his wings turn pink and he clears his threat Aaron bites his lip and tries to think of something to say.

"It was - good." Aaron can't even believe he's discussing this, he sort of feels guilty because Robert's not had sex for literally a decade?

Jesus Christ.

Robert gulps hard. "Was he good about - about you know, the scars?" And that's all he seems to care about knowing, if Ed was respectful.

"Good. Brilliant actually." Aaron kicks something on the floor and then he bites his lip again. "Put me at ease."

Robert nods, _that_ makes him pleased. "You like him a lot don't ya?" He whispers and he looks up and sees Aaron's almost got a pink fuzz around his head.

Ed always has one too.

It's becoming so hard to ignore and it aches.

Aaron suddenly realises what Robert means and he gulps. "I know what you're getting at." He says gravely and he can't think of anything worse.

Robert drops his head, wings start to twitch out of nowhere and he can't look at him.

"Aaron ..."

"My answer is no." Aaron blurts out. "Do you hear me? Robert, I'm saying _no_." He's nearly got tears in his eyes and he wonders if they make a difference to Robert but apparently they don't.

"Aaron, you don't get a say." Robert whispers as he looks up at Aaron's face.

He wonders if doing it quickly would make this even more bearable.

Just pulling the bow and releasing and -

Letting go.

Letting _him_ go.

Before Aaron tries to guilt trip him even more than he is now.

"Please, you're only going to make it harder when -"

"But I'm saying I don't want to be shot. As my Cupid you have to listen to me you idiot!" Aaron's nearly blubbering to be honest and he doesn't mean to be so angry but -

Robert winces against it and then sighs as he stands up. "I'm supposed to help you find love, and you have. You just don't know it yet, that's all."

And he goes before Aaron can say anything else.

 

~*~

 

Paddy walks in on him not exactly crying but his face is all red and puffy and he dives into the kitchen and fakes making a tea.

"Oh, I'll have one too." Aaron hears Paddy say and groans against it.

He makes it haphazardly, and throws a biscuit towards Paddy before he sits down and sighs.

"Well I wasn't expecting your face to look like this after a night with Ed the -"

Aaron moans suddenly. "Why is _everyone_ so obsessed with my flippin' sex life!"

Paddy's eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "That's not what I'm getting at - I uh, I -"

Aaron tenses and Paddy knows him too well to just ignore it.

"Is everything alright?" He's asking and Aaron hides himself away for a second before he lets out a sigh.

"Robert thinks I'm ready." Aaron whispers, has a hand over his knee and he tries to keep himself together and not lose it over the thought of Ed being _his_ , being in love with him _forever_.

Paddy sits slowly, rubs a hand pointlessly over his head and then sighs. "That's, and that's good Aaron." He says, only Aaron sinks further down in his chair and doesn't know what to say. "Aaron?"

"Everything will change." Aaron blurts out, eyes wide as he waves a hand. "And I don't want it to."

Paddy just frowns though. "Look at how _happy_ Gennie is, and David and even _Charity_ for God sakes! That could be you."

And Aaron knows Ed could make him happy, he knows that he could be happy like everyone else wants him to be but -

Something is holding him back.

"You wouldn't even _know_ any different." Paddy persists, and it's a good point.

He wouldn't know that he wasn't in love with Ed.

He wouldn't know that Robert even existed, but he'd -

He'd _feel_ it surely?

Aaron's eyes flicker and he gulps. "I get what you're saying, but I'm allowed to be freaked out." He manages to say, pulls his jumper over his hands and sighs.

Paddy nods, sips at the tea Aaron's made him and winces against it before pulling it away from himself.

"Listen, you and Ed. It felt right? You like him?"

And Aaron can't deny it.

"So, is this about Jackson?"

Aaron scowls just a little and he's thankful that it's not about him.

"No, it's not that, I -"

"Then what is -" Paddy's frowning and then Aaron's just keeping his walls up as high as they can go.

All he can think of is RobertRobertRobert.

"Nothing. Alright, I'm - I'm just a little -"

"Scared?" Paddy assumes and well he is, he's actually petrified but not because of why Paddy thinks.

He just nods and lets Paddy rabbit on about things being better soon.

 

~*~

 

It's probably some sort of sign that he comes down the stairs a few hours later to see Gennie in his living room.

She's flicking through a magazine and smiles warmly at him. She always does, even back when he was a little shit.

Gennie looks back down to the magazine and then puts it down, eyes bright and her yellow polka dot dress making Aaron's eyes almost sting.

Aaron just looks down at her and suddenly has a bit a million questions and she picks up on it quickly.

"Everything alright?" She's asking and he sighs hard before sitting opposite her. "I'm just waiting for your mum, we're off to hit the sales. I need some new plates and Nikhil is making sure that they're -"

"How did you know you loved him?"

And Gennie sort of just stares at him likes he's mad.

"I - uh, I just knew. He meant everything to me. Thought about him constantly -"

Aaron gulps hard. "So, one day it just worked out?" He asks and here's the point where he's hoping she remembers Robert, or at least something so _he_ has some home of not completely forgetting his mate.

Gennie smiles suddenly. "You know what's really funny, I actually don't remember all that much. That's a bit hazy, we just crashed together and it's lasted." He blinks against her words and then she's squinting. "Can't help but think I had help though." She laughs almost and Aaron's eyes widen.

"Really?" He says, heart thumping.

"Yep." Gennie says, starts playing with her hair and then touches her heart. "I say the Angels are always looking down on me though, that's what my mum said too." Aaron just gulps hard and she frowns a little. "Always feel _grateful_ in here." She's holding her heart still and Aaron knows that she's talking about Robert.

He smiles faintly at that and then Aaron hears her mention Ed.

"Is this about him? Just go at your own -"

"Pace. Yeah I know. Thanks." He says and as he goes to leave she squeezes his hand.

"It'll be alright."

And she's always saying that to him.

 

~*~

 

The sky is a silky navy colour, indented with silver crystals and Aaron finds it almost overwhelming as he looks up at it.

He supposes Robert is up there somewhere, he also supposes that he won't understand the beauty of the sky once him and Ed are _matched_.

And that makes everything turn cold inside him until he's hearing the sound of someone walking towards him and Robert is there.

"I come in peace." Robert waves a hand up, and Aaron cringes against how angry he was with Robert earlier. He was mean and harsh and he didn't mean any of it but he never does.

Aaron gulps hard. "Same 'ere, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to - _snap_." He waves a hand out and Robert looks towards the cricket pavilion and then back at Aaron.

"It's alright. I won't try and understand how it feels to not be in control but - just know that -"

"What? Everything's gonna be _alright_?" Aaron asks, because it all sounds so simple when it really won't be.

Robert kicks something against the gravel and then steps up on the cricket pavilion, has a hand on an old football. "Look, we could sit here mopping, _or_ -" he waves the football out in front of him. "We could play a game. Promise I've got a bit better than last time."

And Aaron shakes his head against it before he's raising to his feet and -

Robert _hasn't_ got any better.

Aaron beats him three times and then they fall down onto the grass, chests rising and falling over and over again.

"You're even _worse_." Aaron says, looks across at how Robert is pulling a face and shakes his head. "Idiot."

Robert frowns, feels his heart stretch out suddenly and he sighs. "I let ya win, didn't want you annoyed at me again."

And Aaron's face falls a little. "Sorry." He says again. "You know I didn't - I wasn't angry at _you_ just -" he looks over at Robert and sees that he's turning paler, freckles prominent suddenly. "Rob, you need to go up now." He says.

But Robert can't really hear him, things are moving hazily in front of him and he tries to keep his eyes open but he's used a lot of energy.

He feels Aaron shoving at him and the electricity sparks over and over again. Aaron's hands are stinging from the impact but he has to wake Robert up before -

Robert feels an Angels Whisper and suddenly sits up, he's got his colour back and Aaron's face is red and puffy and -

"Hey, hey it's alright." Robert mumbles. "Just a bit light headed 's'all." He clears his throat and rubs at his heavy eyes before Aaron's shuddering.

He suddenly wonders if Robert will be able to cope much longer the way he is, if this is a sign that his body is screaming out for him to just be human again.

Aaron smiles a little. "Just a few more days." He whispers, eyes soft as Robert gets to his feet and starts to hover.

Robert frowns, "What do you mean?" He asks, wings flapping.

Aaron struggles to bring himself to say it again, but he does. "Just a few more days and then -" his hands flap a little. "Then you can match me, be yourself again."

He doesn't want to get upset but he is.

He's ridiculously upset and it's almost embarrassing but -

"Alright." Robert actually smiles. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

And he goes up, gets his book out and can't help but struggle to write,

' _A few days. In a few days, I'll be human again. In a few days, Aaron will be in love with Ed for the rest of his life. In a few days, Aaron won't even know me.'_

 

~*~

 

He senses something as soon as he rises, he feels a sort of darkness burn inside him and he remembers the dream he had.

He remembers that Aaron was running and Robert had to keep trying to race after him, but he buckled and fell and this giant clock kept ticking.

It was ridiculous, and as Robert thinks about it his head aches just a little.

His head is still raging as he slides down the golden pole and sees Leyla sitting at her desk.

She's watching _Earth_ as she likes to plainly put it, smiling at her sister and David and then she closes the screen when Robert smiles at her.

"Oh, Robert." She says hastily, "Have you been down yet?" She's asking and he shakes his head, reaches over and grabs at her blueberry muffin.

"No, going down now." Robert crosses his arms over and then the swirly thing starts up again in his chest. "Feel a bit weird though."

Leyla leans over, ever the gossip and drama queen. "Oh yeah, how?" She's asking and he shrugs.

He can't exactly but his finger on it but it's like he senses this heaviness.

"Don't know, I'm going to find out though." He says, blinks quickly as Leyla turns to leave and he's looking down from the clouds.

He's just about to fly down when Tilly calls for his help and -

Apparently Samson's got his head stuck in something and she needs his assistance.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's a morning person for certain _people_ , so waking up to the sound of his mum shrieking downstairs only makes him frown in annoyance.

He's still in a bad mood when he's in the shower and for some mad reason his thoughts turn towards Robert.

He's thinking about him and the fact that he said 'only a few more days.'

It seemed fine at the time, it seemed more than enough time but now?

The thought of everything stopping, never actually knowing Robert to begin with is just -

It's madness.

After these months of constantly being around him to _nothing_.

Aaron turns the tap off with a grunt and climbs out of the shower, towel strong around his waist and then there's a knock on the door.

He yanks the door open as he finds another towel and rubs at his chest.

He expects Charity to be standing there asking how much longer he's going to be.

But instead Ed is there and he looks about as awkward as Aaron feels for a second before he's smiling.

"Fancy seeing you here." Aaron hears Ed say and he blinks quickly against it before he's trying to smile and watching Ed follow him towards the bedroom. "Your mum said it was alright to come up, I - I needed to see ya."

Aaron hears him talking, grabs the nearest clothes he has and then joins him to sit on the bed.

"Sounds ominous." Aaron says, impresses himself with the big word and Ed laughs nervously against it before he gulps hard and Aaron hears it. "Are you alright?" He's asking, finds a hand over Ed's suddenly and the older man looks up and kisses him.

It knocks Aaron back a little and he breathes steadily once Ed pulls away.

"I've - I've been promoted." Ed blurts out.

Aaron could almost laugh, if this is what he wanted to say then -

"It means I'm changing teams. Window transfer, higher position in the team - captain actually." Ed's babbling about shit Aaron doesn't understand and it shows on the younger man's face.

"In English now Ed." Aaron snaps a little.

"It means, I'm moving to - to France."

Aaron doesn't expect to be as suddenly upset as he is.

But the news creates all this distance and he moves his hand away.

Ed's just yet another name added to the list of people who leave him in the end.

Aaron stands, goes towards the window. "So, this is the 'it's been fun but laters' speech?" He says, tries to laugh.

But Ed stands and frowns at him, looks perplexed. "No. It's - the 'come with me' one."

And Aaron's eyes nearly fall out of his head.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's by the river, on his tip toes trying to look over and see the way the water manages to slide against the stones.

The water glistens, sparkles beautifully and he could smile if his head wasn't all over the place.

He didn't exactly say nothing at all as Ed stood in front of him.

Instead his mouth flapped open and he started playing with hands and he said stuff like:

'Big decision.'

'Call you later.'

And of course Ed was all weird and understanding as per usual.

Aaron has his hand firmly against the wooden bridge and he breathes out steadily.

He doesn't expect to hear the sound of a car beeping and Adam waving his arms around the place until Aaron sulks over to him.

"What you looking all moody for?" Adam asks, squints from the car as he looks up at Aaron.

He gets an eye roll back and then Aaron's biting his lip.

"Get in." Adam says, senses everything completely and Aaron nods before he's sitting next to him. "Guess what I just heard?" Adam turns the car off and Aaron frowns at him. "Chas screaming 'bout her kid going off to France."

Aaron's face falls, he wants to kick something only Adam manages to stop him.

"Listen, alright. She said she only walked by and -"

"Why does she have to eavesdrop on _everything_?" Aaron blurts out, everything just explodes in side of him and he wants to hide away.

They stay silent for a second and Adam looks over at Aaron. "Go on then, what did you say?"

Aaron just blinks quickly. "I bottled it sort of. Said I'd ring him later." He clears his throat. "He said he understood but - I just - I'm an idiot."

He's an idiot for not having an answer in his head.

He's an idiot for getting sweaty palms over the thought of someone actually liking him enough to want to go to France with him.

Adam doesn't agree.

"You're just taking time to, I don't know, process things." Adam moves his hands about. "This could be good for ya." He says more seriously and Aaron's eyes flicker.

Aaron gulps. "Yeah." He says softly, it _could_.

"Anyways, isn't Robert shooting ya anytime soon?"

And there's _that_.

There's the fact that he probably would be going to France regardless once Robert finishes his job.

Aaron nods slowly. "In a few days, we agreed."

And Adam's slapping his shoulder. " _See_. So it'll be fine. I mean, I'll miss you but -"

Aaron looks away, he'll miss everything and he can't get his head around the fact that he'll be moving to France for -

Ed?

The guy that makes him laugh, makes him feel special.

Aaron's still got this dent of something inside of him though.

This _emptiness_.

And it must be because of Jackson and absolutely no one else.

 _Not_ , anyone else.

Aaron's eyes flicker.

"You'll be amazing mate." Adam says, all misty eyed and yeah -

Aaron doesn't know why to say.

Again.

 

~*~

 

Robert's alone in the back room of the pub, feet up and waiting for Aaron to show his face.

He's got his hands deep into his pockets and he flexes them against the feel of the material before his eyes land on the picture of Katie and Andy on their wedding day.

Victoria's there, she's between them with a massive smile on her face and Adam's got an arm around Andy. They look so happy, so together.

Robert sort of hates that the most, how well his family seem to fit _without_ him.

They were beside themselves when the crash happened, when they thought Robert was dead.

But that soon disappeared, Robert knows that it did because Andy was suddenly Andy again and Victoria was too young to fully comprehend the weight of what had actually happened.

Robert shuffles on the sofa and moves his eyes away from the frame, he suddenly remembers sitting with Andy a few days after he'd flown down to Earth and everyone lost their minds.

He was only still a kid, and Andy kept saying he was sorry.

He seemed to realise that Katie wasn't worth anymore pain and Robert believed him.

He believed him and then -

Katie and him were engaged again and everything was back to normal and Robert had to 'deal' with it.

He's still trying to deal with it, but there's that.

Robert clears his throat, slopes further down on the sofa and then suddenly the door is being open and Chas and Paddy are coming through the door.

He expects them to tell him to get out but they don't.

"We saw ya come in." Chas waves a hand, gestures for Robert to sit back down and then Chas is scrapping the chair against the floor and sighing. "Look, I don't know if you've seen Aaron today ..."

Robert pulls a face. "No, not yet. That's sort of why I'm here." He moves a hand around and then sighs. "What?" He says, watches Chas look back at Paddy.

Paddy looks like he rather be anywhere else.

Chas clears her throat. "Listen, well - Ed sort of dropped a bomb shell on him today and he didn't really respond." She starts pressing her hands against her knees.

Robert sits up. "Are you going to tell me -"

"France." Paddy blurts out. "Ed's going to France for work, _permanently_."

And for a second, something light bursts through Robert and he suddenly thinks,

He can't shoot him if Ed isn't even going to here, has clearly given Aaron the elbow, doesn't want to -

"And he wants Aaron to go with him." Chas lets out.

And Robert's face falls.

There's this sudden -

 _Oh_.

"And - and what does Aaron want?" He manages to say a few seconds later.

Paddy slams a hand down on his thigh and it's meant to mean something maybe but he just looks weird.

Chas sort of tilts her head and sighs. "Well, he didn't seem _excited_ , didn't say no either but - look, this is where you step in. You need to shoot him, match him with Ed."

Robert starts blinking quickly. "But - but we agreed on giving it a few days. We made a deal that -"

"Things change!" Chas waves a hand out. "Look, if he goes, if he goes to France then Aaron's going to miss out. He'll want you to try again with someone else and that'll take longer and -"

She's flapping around and Robert stands suddenly.

"Look. Aaron can make his own decisions. My job is to match him with the right one, maybe this is a sign that Ed _isn't_." Robert frowns hard, can't see the logic in Chas' excitement.

" _Or_ , it's exactly the right sign to show that Aaron can't miss out on adventures. Robert, this is your _job_. I'm asking you to _please_ do your job." Robert blinks against Chas' words and then he looks at Paddy. He looks at how nervous and conflicted he looks.

"You'd really be happy knowing Aaron didn't make the decision himself?" Robert asks and Paddy goes to speak but Chas is getting herself involved.

"He isn't going to make the decision to be matched with Ed himself either but -"

Robert scowls, his wings turn red suddenly. "We made a _deal_. He just got his head around being with Ed and now you want him to go off to France with him?" He flaps a hand out and sighs. "This would mean losing Aaron."

He means for _them_.

Chas seems to know that already though, gets all misty eyed. "I _know_. But - it also means that he's happy, off exploring the world and - leaving all this sorry sadness behind."

And when it's put like _that_ Robert has to look away.

He has to look away and gulp hard and -

Start sharpening his flipping arrows.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's trying to find Robert, walking towards the cricket pavilion because that's where they usually find each other.

Only he isn't there and he sighs against the feeling pressing against his head.

Adam's left him now and Ed's already tried ringing him twice.

He let it go to voicemail.

Aaron turns back towards the village, head all down and mopey and he doesn't expect to see Victoria the next time he raises it.

She's got her arms crossed and a smile on her face. She looks almost smug and he frowns against her good mood until she's giving it away.

"Bonjour." Vic waves dramatically and he rolls his eyes, tries to walk away from her as quick as he can. Only she starts shouting and he feels like a twat for ignoring her.

He turns and she makes a grab for him, hooks their arms together and walks towards David's.

"You can spill about why you look so annoyed whilst you help me shop." She tells him, and he groans before she's shoving a basket in his face and loading it full of food. "So. What's wrong?"

And he doesn't want to go through it _again_.

"Nothing alright? Listen, I just - it's a big deal."

Vic's eyes widen. "Yeah, but also an _amazin_ ' one." She smiles and then she gulps hard.

The way she looks at him makes Aaron squirm.

"You're not - holding back on purpose are ya?" Vic's asking, a sudden hand placed on her hip and Aaron doesn't get what she's saying until she mentions Robert and still holding a grudge against him or whatever and he shakes his head quickly.

"No. God, no it's not that -"

And she smiles brightly again. "Good." She says. "Because you care about him don't ya?" And he nods slowly, his heart beats a little faster for it too. "So you'll want him to be happy too? You and Ed swan off for a life filled with pastries and - he gets to start living again, meet someone, make a family of his -"

Aaron's eyes widen against her mushiness. "Alright, I get it."

And he _does_.

He's just sick of _everyone_ telling him what the right thing to do is.

Now apparently it's the right thing to do because Robert deserves it too, doesn't deserve Aaron missing opportunities with good blokes.

Aaron shuts his eyes for a second and sees Robert struggling to catch his breath the night before.

It turned _everything_ cold.

He opens his eyes, watches Vic debate over the size and possible worthiness of a red pepper in her left hand and she's off in her own world, not caring about the conversation anymore.

And yeah,

He's pleased about that.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's trying to avoid Paddy and his mum and anyone else who somehow thinks it's okay to just have a say over his life and what he decides to do.

His head is frankly _fucked_ and one second he's thinking about how amazing getting out of here would be and the next, he's petrified.

Because he doesn't want to leave _Robert_ and it's so painfully inevitable now.

He keeps being petrified, and that only leads him to biting down on his nails like a mad man and kicking his feet against the cricket pavilion.

"You shouldn't bite your nails." He hears and the comfort which suddenly washes through him as he looks up and sees Robert is literally _everything_ and more.

He feels it almost radiating through him, and it won't stop until Robert's flying closer and sitting next to him.

Aaron suddenly can't even look at him, it's almost too hard because he knows that Robert must know and they're going to have to sit here and talk about it and that's going to only give him a bigger headache than he had before.

"So." Robert clears his throat. "France, you lucky git." He shoves at Aaron's shoulder and feels a zap travel through him before Aaron's looking at him with this wide eyed fear in his eyes. "Aaron, you don't need to be scared."

Only Aaron just pulls his knees up towards him and he feels himself almost cowering. "Don't I?" He shudders. "Robert, if I go then everything will change."

And it _will_.

Robert frowns. "Yeah, for the _better_." He says, "You'll be out of here and -"

"I'll be leaving Jackson." Aaron blurts out, and suddenly it's only been a fucking year and he's planning a whole new life with someone else.

He doesn't feel that fresh guilt though, this is different, this aches in a way it probably always will.

Robert can't even begin to try and say anything against that, there's just nothing _to_ say.

He shuffles a little, tries to lean closer to Aaron and then gulps. "He'd understand." He whispers.

Aaron just frowns though. "You're right he would. Everyone would _understand_ , but I don't want it to be that easy." He says, and he can't even explain himself. "How comes no one -"

Robert catches it though and something bubbles through him. "Easy?" He says suddenly. "Aaron, none of this is _easy_. Do you think I honestly like hearing you this scared and knowing that - that it's for the best in the long run despite how you feel _now_?" He's not meant to be so flipping angry but he feels like he's bubbling over and Aaron is just staring at him like he doesn't know what to say. " _I_ care. I don't want to see you go but - but it's for the best."

Aaron can't even speak, finds his mouth just gaping open and then he gulps as Robert stands up.

"Stop, stop saying it's for the _best_." Aaron's eyes are wet and they shouldn't be, he shouldn't be like this but -

"It is! Why can't you get that through your _thick_ head. You and Ed belong together and I -"

"All you care about is yourself, let's be honest."

And that comes out of nowhere.

That's a lie, but Aaron says it regardless because he's hurting.

He says it because of course he says stupid things he doesn't mean when Robert looks so upset and conflicted.

His wings are all droopy and transparent and he looks so visibly saddened that Aaron just wants to hug the life out of him.

He wants to hug him. That's all he wants but -

"I'm done. I'm done trying to - trying to put you first. Why don't I put _myself_ first for once eh?" Robert is just venomous because Aaron's got this wild ability to turn everything inside him black and mean and horrible and he truly wants to hate him for it.

He hates Aaron for a lot of other things though, like what he does to Robert's heart when it's against the strict laws of flipping nature.

Robert's mad, he knows it as he pulls out his arrows and then his bow and -

He's got shaky hands and Aaron's just standing in front of him looking petrified and -

If it was anyone else, he'd do this, he'd do it with no bother at all.

But it's _Aaron_.

"Rob." Aaron's chin is wobbling, eyes glassy and -

Robert's just this monster who _traps_ people into finding love.

That's all.

The arrows drop to the ground along with the bow and Robert heaves for a second as Aaron stands there.

He still wants to hug him.

Still.

The sun sets around them and Aaron tries to come closer but Robert bats him away.

"No, no stay away from me." Robert shouts. "You - you ruined _everything_." He says, and then he's running and Aaron -

All he wants to do is chase after him.

And then Ed is calling him again.

 

~*~

 

All he wants is to have a drink in a quiet corner of the pub.

That's why he rubs his chain and makes himself absolutely invisible to everyone as he keeps knocking back shots of something sickly.

He hates himself and all this heavy weight of having to _decide_ what is best for Aaron when he doesn't even know for himself.

Robert looks up towards the ceiling and practically feels the shaking of heads and tuts from the Angels because he's not supposed to be drinking this heavily.

Especially considering the moon is nearly up and he's supposed to be flying up up and away from the village any second now. He doesn't seem to care about that though, not even one bit. Instead he's helping himself to another pint and watching Chas work around him without even noticing his presence.

It makes him laugh a little before he's moving back towards his small little alcove and watching Aaron walk in, and then Andy is behind him and they look like they're arguing or something.

"Look, he just left. I don't know where he's gone." Aaron voice is strained and he wants to tell Andy to leave him alone.

"I thought he was gonna shoot you today?" Andy just doesn't have any tact about these things because Chas suddenly brightens by the bar at the prospect and Aaron just shakes his head. It makes Andy sigh in frustration. "He should get on with it, I don't want him around when -"

Robert suddenly rubs at his chain, too quick, too drunk, too whatever _this_ is.

He clambers to his seat from the small table and frowns at Andy. "Go on! Spread the good news then." He says, and he feels something inside him.

He knows that it's about him and Katie and -

"Katie's pregnant."

And that's wonderful that.

Andy's got absolutely _everything_ he's ever wanted and Robert's got to shoot the one person who actually made him feel like -

He falls back against the news, feels something almost break in his chest and that malice is there again.

It's there once _again_.

"Congrats." Robert starts clapping lazily and he can see Aaron staring at him from the corner of his eye.

He wants to tell him to stop looking like that, all sad and droopy and like he isn't going to get to be happy so soon. Robert keeps clapping and Andy just shuffles on his feet for a second before he's nodding his head.

Robert suddenly realises that Andy didn't even want him _around_ when he told everyone the news and he isn't even too sure why that hurts considering how damaged they are as so called brothers.

"And Andy wins again." He says, shaking his head and walking up to his brother. "How comes that gets to happen?" Robert feels all this deep upset just pour out of him and he cannot control it.

Andy's eyes just flicker. He so clearly doesn't want to do this.

"Robert. Just -"

"You know he tried to _kill_ me?" Robert turns his body round so that the whole pub is just staring right at him.

Charity looks like she almost feels sorry for him so he must look like a dick.

"That's _enough_." Andy suddenly bellows, like he's going to do something and Robert just shakes his head at him.

"Slammed into me. He knew exactly what he was doing. And then he was _sorry_ , he _cried_ and - and all was forgiven wasn't it?" Robert shouts, and his wings -

They're this crimson colour suddenly but Aaron also sees the specs of blue in between and he knows that Robert shouldn't be doing this.

He's hurting and he's not meant to be hurting.

He's meant to be _happy_ but how can he be when -

Andy clearly doesn't want to stick around and hear it anymore and he runs out of the pub like a child but Robert only follows him.

"Rob, wait -" Aaron's saying, he's thinking back to what Robert told him. How he had somehow ruined everything for Robert and he feels this deep sense of guilt.

"Oi. Stay here." Chas is practically ordering and Aaron slowly sits back down on the stool, starts shaking his leg up and down nervously.

Robert practically stalks Andy down the road and maybe he is after that punch he gets because when he _does_ get one -

At least he feels something he can properly name.

It's _pain_.

Andy's on top of him and he keeps punching and punching and Robert can't even breathe right and this all started because he dared to mention their dad.

He said,

"You shot our dad. You tried to kill me. Katie better watch out don't you think? She'll only be -"

Punch number one.

But he carried on, and Andy was visibly shaken but Robert only pressed harder on those buttons of Andy's.

And he earned another punch.

"You're nothing Robert." Andy says now, moving from Robert and getting to his feet and Robert lays on his back.

He doesn't even try to move until,

"Even your little boyfriend Aaron's leaving you soon."

And that explodes something.

Maybe it's the drink, and the sadness he feels, and everything else too but -

This force just _drives_ something between him and Andy and it knocks the older man back.

He basically knocks Andy out from this force of what exactly he doesn't know. He never even thought he had power like that, in the traditional sense but -

Vic comes out of her cottage with a panicked look on her face. "God, Andy!"

And apparently he's out cold.

"What did you do Robert?"

And nether mind how bloody and broken he looks,

Robert did that.

Robert holds his breath and then he's struggling to his feet before walking as fast as he can into some sort of hiding.

 

~*~

 

The weight of the moon is heavy tonight and Aaron looks up in some sort of amazement, he suddenly cannot get passed how strong it seems against the black sheet of the sky.

He should be in bed like everyone else but here he is sitting by the window and watching the aftermath of what happened before.

Andy's waving his arms about and he looks like he's been thrown backwards through a bush, hair sticking up and coat half hanging off his body. Aaron almost wants to laugh at the strength of Robert and then he loos down at his bloody knuckles.

Something so instantly tells him it's Robert's blood and everything just _halts_ in his body.

He's not sure of instinct is the right word to call it but he flys out of his room and down the stairs and manages to unlock the door before his mum asks questions.

He almost just can't get passed how heavy his heart feels for Robert and that's _wrong_ and stupid but it's not like he can actually do _anything_ about it now can he?

It's too late for that.

Robert's gone and ruined absolutely everything.

Aaron goes towards the bus shelter, thinks he sees what could be Robert's slumped shadow but it isn't. He sighs hard against the failed discovery and then realises where else Robert could be hiding.

It's where they usually both like hiding.

Aaron approaches the pavilion cautiously, feels the wind biting against his skin as he attempts to move his jacket further up his face and brace himself for another hit.

That's when he hears it, this soft sort of groan and it scares him into opening the door as hard as he can.

When he does,

Robert's literally slumped against the wall, panting hard and fast and looking like -

A fallen Angel.

He's got his hair pressed against his face, blood oozing from a cut above his right eyebrow and there's a bruise just under his left eye.

And he's still wheezing in pain.

Aaron practically leaps across the room and slides down onto his knees so that he can look at Robert better.

"Rob, Robert - Robert." Aaron's suddenly scared to touch him, doesn't have a clue what will happen if he does and everything starts to become overwhelming because Robert seems too out of it to even notice him there.

Aaron braces himself before pressing his hands on Robert's shoulders and lightly shaking him. The pain from their touch makes Robert suddenly raise his head and wince and then he's seeing Aaron's face and he almost wants to cry against it.

"'Ron?" He manages, every single part of him crying out in pain now. Because he's not supposed to be touched this badly that it causes effects to his immortal body.

But he let Andy _lay_ into him didn't he?

Robert half smiles. "I prefer Aaron mate." He says shakily, this warmness travels through him and he's only ever this soft with Adam and Vic and his mum. It scares him to admit it, especially considering Robert will be gone soon anyway.

Robert tries to smile but then groans again and Aaron looks once more to assess the damage.

"Come on, let's go get you cleaned up." Aaron says suddenly, rubs his hands together and winces against the pain of having to hold Robert up as he slumps against him.

Robert's got his face buried into Aaron's shoulder and he tries to breathe, Aaron's soft smell manages to settle him though.

Surprisingly it doesn't take too long to get back to the pub, Aaron sort of has to carry Robert the whole way there but it's this tense adrenaline which surges through him that makes it easier.

He just needs to make sure that Robert is _safe_.

If he is then everything will be alright. Aaron wills himself to keep thinking like that until they're met with an even greater obstacle. The pub stairs.

Robert groans as he sights them, feels like his body is going to topple over but somehow he finds the strength to stand upright and the look on Aaron's face is suddenly filled with deep concern.

"Hey, hey lean back on -"

Robert shakes his head, shuffles until he's holding the banister and he manages to shuffle up the stairs with Aaron standing inches away from him.

He has a hand on Robert's back, starts drawing circles into it slowly and the pain reaching his hands is worth the way Robert seems to relax underneath it.

Aaron watches Robert shuffle into the room and winces at how he slumps onto the bed.

"I won't be a sec, just getting the first aid box alright?" Aaron tries to sound reassuring but Robert still looks so unwell that it aches his heart a little.

Still.

His hands are suddenly shaking and he only realises that they are as he fumbles about for the first aid kit and drags it back into his room.

Robert's still hanging off the bed, and he's trying his best to try and sort his breathing out but it's too hard and he just has to cling onto the drawer.

Aaron's eyes flicker and then he slowly sits down on the bed, gulps hard against the winces Robert keeps letting out and then he shudders.

"Rob, come, let me - let me look." Aaron says, eyes wide and filled with this panic he wants to subside. It does a little when Robert finally looks his way and Aaron has to hold his breath.

It's scary to see a bruise already forming on the side of Robert's face and he sees his Cupid reach out to grab the mounds of tissue Aaron's bought with him.

Robert feels this need to spit out and when he does the tissue is covered with his own blood. It turns his flipping stomach and he can't even begin to try and look passed it and the feeling inside him that won't stop building.

He's just staring down at his own blood and Aaron's there suddenly to grab the tissue and bring the bin closer to him so that he can just get rid of the constant reminder of how badly Robert is hurting.

"Rob, look at me." Aaron says steadily, he's managed to stop his hands from shaking the way they were and he's holding out a clear bottle of what he supposes is disinfectant. He watches Robert look away, look wary, and then he tries to smile. "Come on, trust me eh?"

And Robert does trust him. Maybe more than he trusts himself.

So he nods half heartedly before leaning closer towards Aaron and letting him dab at his face until the blood isn't there anymore. He flinches and it makes the younger man frown.

"Sorry." Aaron blurts out, "Just a little more." And he's managed to soak up the blood and the way the cut above Robert's eye just keeps pouring.

And then he halts.

Robert notices, and something tells him that Aaron's finding all this blood and cuts too much and maybe he's thinking about -

Self harming?

Jackson's accident?

Robert pulls his head down too quickly and Aaron's hand slips, falls a little and he gulps hard.

"Sorry, just - a little too much blood." Aaron feels himself turning pale and Robert reaches a hand out and places it on Aaron's knee.

It sends pain through him sharply but it's worth the way Aaron smiles just a little.

"Thank you." Robert says heavily. "I - I should go now though." He says, tries to lift himself up from the bed but Aaron pulls him back down and shakes his head.

" _No_. No, Rob - hang on." And Aaron reckons no one has ever actually pinned Robert back like this and made him actually talk about the things he does. "Why did Andy do this?"

And Robert wants to hide. Because he usually does? Only his wings aren't going to be able to carry him in this state and that's all his fault.

And Aaron's here, hoodie thrown on and eyes wide with concern and he wants to know why Andy beat the shit out of him.

"You know he's in hospital?"

And Robert didn't know that. It just makes him want to hide even more because he's a monster.

He's a _monster_.

He groans a little and tries to tilt on his side before his eyes flicker. "No." He says. "I do now." And it's sort of hard to speak but he tries to and it works. Sort of. Aaron seems to understand him anyway.

Aaron sighs hard, realises how difficult it is to try and talk to someone who clearly doesn't want to be spoken to.

He's suddenly in Paddy's shoes and Robert is the younger him.

"Do you want me to go?" Aaron will if that's what Robert wants, he'll sleep in Noah's room, blankets on the floor sort of thing. He'll do that for Robert and that's weird and scary really because he doesn't usually put himself out for others like this, not unless he loves -

He clears his throat suddenly and goes to get up, only Robert speaks.

"I wound him up." Robert whispers, eyes droopy and face suddenly hardening. "I - I wanted him to punch me, to - to make me feel -"

 _Something_.

Aaron's eyes widen, and the way Robert is speaking is suddenly heartbreaking. It drags him back down onto the bed and he knows he has to just _listen_.

"From - from _this_ , from _you_ and this decision I have to make and -" Robert shouldn't be telling this to Aaron, he shouldn't be trying to offload. That's why he writes his thoughts down in that stupid book, so that Aaron never knows how much all of this is _stressful_ and a lot to fucking deal with and -

Aaron gulps hard. "I'm sorry."

And -

Robert raises his head. " _No_. Shut up, don't - don't say you're sorry. It's me. It's - I'm this mess." He shakes his head and Aaron wants to hug him again.

He wants to tell him that everything is going to be just fine.

Robert shuffles a little, "I let Andy do what he did because it distracted me from what I have to do to ya." He squints as he watches Aaron look away. "It's - it's _never_ been this hard."

And Aaron can believe that.

"And you hate me." Robert blurts out. "Deep down, what you said before - what I _did_ \- I'm _sorry_ \- I'm -"

Aaron frowns, comes closer to Robert. "It's already forgotten about." He says seriously, and he needs Robert to know that it's in the past, that he knew he wasn't actually trying to threaten him or anything like that. "I don't hate ya." He whispers. "I couldn't, could I?"

And he braces himself to say some ridiculously kind shit but Robert interjects.

Because of course he does.

"You should." Robert looks up at him, tears in his eyes so suddenly that it aches. "'Cause all he had to do is mention you and I flung him half way across the village."

And he sort of wants to say,

'Don't you see, you're my pressure point? You're what makes me go crazy?'

But there's no point in that because Aaron just looks away.

"You know, I went through his faze of thinking what I was doing was great. I was helping people but actually - I just trap 'em. I'm a monster."

Aaron suddenly scowls. "No you're not. Shut up."

And that makes Robert raise his head in surprise. "Didn't ya just see what I did to my own brother? What I was going to do to you?"

Aaron doesn't even flinch. "Yeah. But you've also been the only person who seems to understand me lately." He doesn't even want to get all emotional and yet -

"I mean Adam and Paddy do more than most, but you? You made me face my fears and - and be happy when I think about - about Jackson." He shudders and it doesn't take long before he's brushing a tear from his face. "Robert. You're _good_."

And he sees the way Robert's wings turn this soft baby pink colour suddenly and everything is too much for them to bare so Robert just looks away and then he's trying to get up again and wincing.

Aaron clambers closer and rearranges the pillows so that Robert can lay down more easily.

"You shouldn't have to do this." Robert's almost embarrassed and then he's thinking about the fact that he watches the Angles take care of the mortals. It shouldn't be the other way round but he's been an idiot and Aaron clearly feels sorry for him.

Aaron shrugs, tries to make light of it all as the darkness creeps in further into the room. "Well you're giving me Ed and France so ..."

And Robert's heart shouldn't do what it does.

It shouldn't almost _break_ , splinter.

"You decided to go then?"

Aaron's face falls a little, "Well. No I - I suppose I don't really have a choice though." He gets that, and shouting in Robert's face that he'll never forgive him and he's selfish isn't fair either.

He's only doing his _job_ , one forced upon _him_ all those years ago.

Robert nods heavily and then realises that he's managing to breathe just fine again. "I already feel a bit better doc." And it's Robert's turn to lighten the mood and create something soft between them.

It used to be soft, for about a day or two where they were mates who actually laughed around each other and had fun.

Now though, everything is just horribly _weird_.

Aaron rolls his eyes. "Not a doctor mate. Far from one." He shuffles on the bed and then swings his legs over so that they are on the bed too.

Robert smiles a little though, it hurts to do but he does it for Aaron. "Well, you're enough."

And it's a throw away comment but Aaron's heart literally jumps and he starts worrying if Robert could hear it so he brings his knees up to his chest and presses down hard.

"You alright?" Robert asks after a few seconds, trying to sit back a little and ease the tension building in his neck.

Aaron looks up awkwardly. "What ya said, it can't be true can it?" His eyes flicker as he speaks. "If I'm enough, then why did he do _that_ to me? And why did Jackson decide I wasn't?"

There's tears swimming in his eyes and Robert has no clue what to say for a second.

And then Aaron's waving a hand out and wanting to forget it but Robert pulls himself up a little.

"Because _he_ is scum who can't be changed." And Aaron watches Robert's wings turn red. "And - and Jackson, he just wanted to be free of his pain Aaron. Not of you. It was just too much to bare."

And Aaron sniffs and hates how he is still this messed up adult who used to be a messed up kid once upon a time. He hasn't changed, and there's still nights where he lays back and just thinks about _everything_ and it's exhausting and he cries his eyes out.

"But he loved you Aaron. Just like you loved him. And nothing can take that away can it?" Robert has his gentle voice on and he's happy to see that he's mastered it because of Aaron Dingle.

A few seconds go by and Robert thinks the subject is dropped but then Aaron is frowning a little. "Sometimes, I wonder if I ever even loved him." A tear falls down his face and this is something he's _never_ spoke about to _anyone_.

Robert frowns himself. "What do you mean?"

Aaron sniffs. "The whole reason why he ended up the way he did was because I _couldn't_ tell him I loved him." Now his chin is wobbling. "Because I had no _clue_ what that even felt like, to trust someone that much to - to love them. And then he was hurt and - _of course_ I loved him. I don't know, I mean - by the end I _did_. I loved him in my own way but - I never got the chance to love him in my own _time_ you know? Everything was _heightened_ after the accident."

Robert keeps listening, and Aaron gulps hard when he finishes. He looks across at Robert's bloody and bruised face and he knows he shouldn't be even asking but -

"How does it feel to fall in love, like slowly realise it. Not just - instantly?"

The question is heavy, loaded with everything suddenly and Robert can't get passed it.

"How should I know?" Robert asks, "I've not been in love for years."

But Aaron's eyes widen. "But you felt it before didn't you?" He's almost pleading for some sort of help and Robert is too involved to not help him.

He clears his throat and then he thinks of her.

He loved her back then.

Katie.

"It feels like - you're falling and you can't help it at all. Every time you see that person you - you just want to wrap your arms round them and listen to whatever they've got to say." Robert smiles almost faintly. "You just want to be around them, you're excited when you think about them too you know?" He looks up and Aaron's eyes are soft and there's still tears in his eyes. Robert shudders slowly.

"And you want to hate them. Because it's not fair how much you give them, how much they take from ya but then it's okay 'cause it's worth seeing them happy. It doesn't even matter though. Because they're worth it and there's just nothing you can do about it anyway." Robert looks up again and Aaron's mouth is hanging open a little.

Because Robert's wings are this pink pastel colour and they're glittering.

And -

Robert isn't even thinking about Katie anymore.

Robert drags his head down again and he's too embarrassed to even speak. He just wills his wings to go back to normal.

He keeps willing and then Aaron lifts his face up by his chin and smiles at him a little.

"Robert -"

He tries to say something but Robert gets there first.

"But that's just me." Robert shrugs. "How I felt about - about - _Katie_." He pushes it out.

Aaron nods. "Katie yeah." He whispers, eyes soft again and Robert nods.

He keeps nodding and then he feels this sharp pain rise through him suddenly as he tries to get up again.

He wants to leave Aaron alone now but his body won't let happen.

"Oi. Sit down." Robert hears Aaron order. "Your ribs, maybe they're bruised." He says and then he leans closer. "Let me see."

He wants to see and he looks like he won't rest until Robert does. So, Robert's unbuttoning his shirt and then Aaron's _helping_ him and _God_ if the Angels looked down now they'd think all _sorts_ of things.

Robert doesn't want to think about those things too. So he holds his breath against it and then winces as his shirt flys open and he sights a bruise yellowing on his right side.

Anger's the first thing that Aaron has to try and overcome.

"I can't believe he did this to ya." Aaron's saying, looking at the damage and the way Robert is clearly trying to fight against it.

He's failing miserably and Aaron hates it.

"Yeah. Well, he's in hospital because of me." He shrugs, bites hard down on anymore self loathing he feels as Aaron gulps hard.

And then the moon is shimmering towards the room and Aaron has to stop his mouth from hanging open as he watches Robert's body start to _glimmer_.

It won't stop either.

He's silver and Aaron's never felt like this before. He's in awe and Robert wants to hide himself away.

He tries to pull his shirt over himself and then Aaron shakes his head and pulls his hand away.

"No. It's - how comes it's -"

Robert sighs against it and then tilts his head up a little. "The Angels attempts at - healing me." He gulps hard as he feels them working as hard as they can for him.

He reckons it's Pearl doing most of the work when she should be asleep.

Aaron's practically mesmerised and then he's sighting a long scar across Robert's chest.

Maybe he stares for too long because suddenly Robert is self conscious and hiding himself away.

"Don't look." Robert says quickly, and the way he snaps makes him realise that he should at least try to explain. "Andy. It - what he did, the accident. It left that scar."

And sometimes he'll spend ages just looking at how horrible it is.

"It never goes away, just constantly there. It's awful." Robert admits, almost to himself and then Aaron's just falling.

He's losing any sort of self control and he places a hand down on Robert's bare chest and listens to his heart beat.

"Beautiful." He says and it's so uncharacteristically like him that he almost has to check if what he said actually came out of his mouth but Robert's face gives it away and his wings are pink and transparent at the same time and Aaron doesn't even know what that means.

But he doesn't care because there's this _pull_ and -

Robert gulps steadily. Aaron's touch isn't hurting him.

And maybe he's just letting _go_.

"Aaron -"

But Aaron just shakes his head, and there's tears in his eyes as he looks down at Robert's lips and up at his eyes. "Just let me - let me uh - I just need to -"

And he kisses Robert.

He kisses him gently on the lips and closes his eyes and everything should be absolutely aching but it isn't. Instead Robert's wings almost take flight and he has to rest his hands on Aaron's shoulders to try and stop from flying away from the feeling inside.

He shouldn't but he kisses Aaron back, kisses him _too_ and they're both this puddle of goo and -

Aaron pulls away, eyes still closed and a soft sort of wild smile on his face which is so very faint.

He doesn't think he'll ever stop feeling how he does right now.

"Stay." Aaron whispers, pushes his forehead against Robert's. " _Please_."

And Robert will probably turn cold again like he did that night in the pavilion but Aaron's here to help him and -

"I'll hold you all night if I have to." Aaron promises, and it means _so much_.

It means all the things that Aaron's not supposed to say.

Robert smiles, almost can't and he nods his head despite absolutely everything telling him that this is wrong.

But Aaron's kissed him.

He's just _kissed_ him and -

Robert knows exactly how he feels about Aaron Dingle and there's no denying it now.

He shuffles down into the bed and feels this coldness creep in because he's so far away from his home. But then Aaron's got his arms wrapped around him, and Robert's turned into the little spoon for some reason but he doesn't care.

Aaron rubs small circles into the palm of Robert's hand and the older man wonders if he's actually dreaming as the covers are thrown over him and Aaron settles.

"This - it doesn't happen. Ever." Robert whispers and Aaron nods against him.

He's talking about exactly how it feels.

Aaron shudders. "I'm scared of how you make me feel." He whispers. "How I can't control it."

And he can't.

And everything is just _pouring_ out between them and it's been a long time coming.

Robert feels something warm spread through his chest.

"I know the feeling." He says softly.

And then he feels his eyes dropping, and Aaron's clinging tighter to his body.

Everything is quiet suddenly.

Robert sleeps easy, tries to ignore this feeling inside him telling him that tomorrow this has to be _forgotten_ for both their sakes.  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed, there's 4 chapters left of this fic and I should be uploading them weekly so it won't be that much longer to wait now!
> 
> Of course there's more twists and turns and I have everything perfectly pictured in my head so if you can't wait between chapters or don't really like the direction it is going either just trust in me lmao or wait until it's all finished!!
> 
> Thanks for reading if you still are!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time runs out for Robert and Aaron's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed that the amount of chapters have decreased, only because of fact that it didn't seem write to cut bits to suit the chapters. This may be subject to change however! 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter and hate me for the end because I know you will!

 

He wakes to the sound of Noah running around trying to find his pencil case and he groans against it before turning round to see Aaron.

 _Aaron_.

Something warm spreads through him as he thinks of him but then it dies away because the bed is cold and Aaron's not there.

He's gone and Robert rolls his eyes against the fact that Aaron wouldn't want to face last night head on.

Last night, when Aaron touching him didn't hurt but felt like the most amazing thing in the world.

Last night when -

Everything just _happened_ all at once.

Robert looks down at his body, sees that the bruises are already fading. He smiles against it with relief and then looks towards the window.

He knows that Aaron's going to have to get his head around last night and how _scary_ it all is and Robert respects that.

He'll wait.

Aaron's worth that at least.

Robert moves from the bed and then catches his face in the mirror, it still looks torn and tired and he thinks of Andy suddenly.

He supposes he should go and see him. He supposes if he doesn't, Vic is going to never speak to him again.

Robert rolls his eyes against the realisation and then he's got his leather jacket on and shakes at his hair. He knows it's unheard of, staying overnight on Earth but he did that and it was because of Aaron and that only makes something swirl in his chest greater.

It's the pull of him and Vic which makes him fly out of the window and head towards the hospital.

He'll see Aaron later.

Heck,

He might even be able to kiss him.

 

~*~

 

The hospital room is clinical and cold and the first thing he sees when he walks in is Andy laying on the bed with his eyes closed.

He looks fairly okay, but he's also got his head wrapped up in bandage and he looks like one of the Mr Men.

Robert shouldn't laugh, he doesn't to be fair but it's a little difficult. Especially when Andy sees him and he instantly scowls.

"What you doing here?" Andy bites, and then he looks harder at Robert and sees the damage he's caused. Maybe that's why he pulls his head down quickly like he _knows_ he's also done wrong.

"Came to see ya. Check you weren't dead."

Andy scoffs. "Bet you're disappointed considering I've only got concussion and a sore head." He says, gulps hard and then Robert draws himself towards the bed slowly.

"I goaded you. I suppose I'm sorry." Robert is suddenly uncomfortable with using that word and Andy picks up on it.

He doesn't milk it for all it's worth or anything though.

Instead he sighs. "I went a bit too far." Andy admits and Robert's eyes widen because maybe he pushed the malice out of Andy last night. "I'm not saying you didn't deserve it."

Oh and that's Andy again.

Robert nods. "I don't even know what happened." He squints against the sound of the machines in the room. "You mentioned Aaron and -"

He just _lost_ his whole mind.

Andy shuffles on the bed again. "Didn't realise that he was such a -"

 _Trigger_.

Robert blinks quickly, and everything is heavy suddenly. "Yeah. Me either."

When Robert looks up at Andy he notices something different in his expression. "I don't want last night to happen again Rob."

And for once they're on the same page.

"I know." Robert says, "Everything just - when you told me about Katie I just -"

"This isn't about Katie." Andy says dismissively, even waves a hand out to prove his point further.

Only Robert could throttle him because he still doesn't get it.

"Of course it's about Katie." Robert snaps. "It always has been about -"

"The fact that you still love her? The fact that -"

And Robert's wings are red.

"You chose her over me!" Robert doesn't mean to scream the way he does but he can't stop himself.

Andy just stares at him for a second and Robert realises he has to explain himself.

"You thought you'd killed me, that I was _gone_ and you were sorry and upset and I thought we could put everything behind us. But then you chose to get back with _her_. The girl who caused it all. The girl who got between us and I had to just get over it."

There's light relief behind the way he finally says what he means.

"I didn't chose her over you, I just - I wanted to be happy." Andy frowns suddenly and the logic behind the hate Robert has felt for years seems to start to subside because Andy's just too much of an idiot to purposely try and hurt Robert the way he has.

"Screw what I felt." Robert whispers.

"You took her from me."

"And you took my life."

And they'll never be anything else to say to that.

Andy sighs hard suddenly. "We can't keep doing this." He says after a few minutes of unbearable silence. "Going around and around in circles. It's not worth it."

And Robert raises his head. "So what do you suggest then eh?"

"We act civil. You're getting rid of those wings soon and I don't want us to hate each other or for you to have to move away."

And Robert can accept that, he can.

"For Vic if not anyone else." Andy says slowly, eyes flickering a little as he looks up. "Please?"

Robert nods his head slowly, and then he has a hand on Andy's mattress. "Okay." He whispers and there's this heaviness which is drawn out between them as Andy looks at him.

"I never knew that - that being with Katie hurt you. I honestly didn't think you'd care." Andy's got his dumb farmer face on and he shrugs his shoulders.

And Robert is to blame for that in many ways. "You didn't know I loved her like I did." He whispers. "You didn't know that."

He reckons Andy probably never will.

Andy clears his throat and shudders. "We move on though yeah? It'll be you soon with someone on your arm just like before."

 _Before_.

Robert smiles faintly. "Yeah. Maybe I'll get a happy ending one day too." He whispers.

"You'd deserve it."

And this is almost too much.

"Yeah fuck off." Robert shrugs his shoulders, scoffs off this ridiculously out of place comment but then Andy raises his head and looks like he meant it.

"You know I prayed you'd be okay when you were in hospital." Andy's about as good as Aaron when it comes to talking about his feelings. It's practically a joke. But this, it makes Robert lift his head up and listen. "I was scared. And I prayed that you'd get to do all the things I wanted to do as well one day. Like get to love someone, be happy."

Robert breathes in deeply.

And everything slows.

"I was sorry. And I was upset and angry at ya and - I just didn't want you to die. But you weren't dead suddenly and I just wanted everything to go back to _normal_."

Robert sighs hard and then continues to breathe out heavily. "So you just - decided to act like a twat to me for years, to forget everything?"

Andy's eyes water and Robert doesn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry."

He's _sorry_.

Robert nods a little. "We start again."

Andy's eyes flicker.

"We start again."

Again.

Robert sniffs and there's a sudden break between them as they stare at each other. It's like they both manage to heal each other and the mounts of wounds between them which kept them from being brothers for all this time.

"Again." Andy says firmly, agrees.

Robert doesn't think about hugging him or anything but they do smile at each other for a second or so longer than they should.

And everything settles in Robert's chest.

 

~*~

 

"Just thought I'd come and see you." Aaron's not been here for a while because of Robert.

Because of the person who made him feel like everything was worth something again, that he didn't have to sit here and be sad and wish his life away.

The wind picks up and Aaron sits on the damp grass before looking at the headstone. There's dirt in the corner of the sides and he starts to rub it away with the back of his sleeve. It slides off easily and he smiles for a second before sighing.

"I'm sorry it's been a while. I'm meant to be moving on." Aaron nods, eyes flicker suddenly and everything rushes up inside of him. "I think I might have, because - because what I feel for him. It's not going away and I've tried."

He's really _tried_.

"Because last night he stayed, and I kissed him. And it didn't hurt, to hold him. It didn't hurt and I started thinking about -"

'I could want this forever I think.'

"Apparently, it's not even possible." He says, shuffles a little. "Me and him. But I want it to be." And his eyes glaze over until he's trying not to cry. "But if I tell him that then - then he won't get to be human again, if he doesn't shoot me with Ed then he's stuck and I don't want him to be."

His head aches and he wants to go and find Robert and hold him like he did last night, just fall into his arms and melt and not have to think about anything else.

Sense stops him though, he stays where he is and sniffs a little.

"It's a mess." Aaron admits, kicks the grass a little and then touches the cold stone. "I just want him to be happy. Like I wanted you to be?"

And look how that ended.

He feels like a stone just settles in his stomach as he hears his thoughts and then he gulps hard. He's bristling against the cold and then he feels someone sit down beside him.

For just a second, he think it's Robert and he smiles contently before he sees Adam and he has to clear his throat.

"Anniversary or something?" Adam's looking sorry for not remembering until Aaron shakes his head and tells him he just wanted to have a quiet word with him. "I suppose this is 'cause of Ed. You getting cold feet or something?"

Aaron cringes. "It's not like we're getting married."

Only Adam scoffs. "Might as well be, you're getting _matched_."

And everything just feels so suddenly heavy that Aaron finds it hard to actually breathe right.

Adam pushes at Aaron's shoulder. "Oi. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be amazing for you."

And _everyone_ keeps saying that.

Aaron nods his head a little.

"Where's Robert got to? I haven't seen him in your shadow today."

Aaron feels his stomach swirl. "He's not in my shadow." He says too quickly and Adam rolls his eyes.

"Not anymore soon." Adam seems flipping excited and then he picks up on Aaron's mood. "What's going on up there?" He points to Aaron's head and Aaron stays silent. "I'm worried about ya."

"Don't be. I'm fine."

He's fine and he wants everyone else to know that.

"Don't go telling my mum I'm not." Aaron snaps his head up and Adam nods his head along before he sighs.

"Do me a favour though, speak to Robert." And Aaron doesn't get what Adam means. "He needs to know where your 'ead is at before he shoots ya."

And Aaron winces against even the thought of Robert not getting to be his.

Not now he's gone and fallen -

"Okay." Aaron whispers before he looks back at the headstone and sighs.

 

~*~

 

It's not this sudden realisation or anything, Aaron just realises that he knows exactly what he wants and that's Robert.

Somehow.

Any way possible really. He'll try.

He's done with trying to lie about what's clearly been building up inside him for absolute weeks.

It hurts to lie like that, makes everything ache inside his chest.

He's attempting to calm himself down as he moves towards the back room, he's waiting for Robert to fly down and then he sees Vic.

She's got a hand on her hip and looks a little frazzled.

"Have you seen him?" She's saying bluntly. Aaron frowns a little. "My idiot brother."

"Isn't he in hospital?" Aaron quips and she doesn't look like she's in the mood for this.

"Very funny." Vic says bluntly before practically forcing Aaron to follow her into the kitchen whilst she sets some plates down. "He put Andy in hospital and now he's disappeared."

Aaron gulps hard.

"He could be hurt or something." Vic worries her lip and Aaron holds his breath. "What? Do you know where he went?"

Aaron's always been a shit liar.

"He was with me."

And apparently that means something massive because her eyes widen like she flipping knows what happened.

As if she's always had this inkling or something.

"With you?" Vic whispers, and he drops his head, face reddening suddenly. "Aaron. Don't tell me -"

"Tell you what?" Aaron says, suddenly this chavvy mouthy teenager is back and he's daring to be bold.

Vic gulps, goes to the effort of making sure the door is shut so that Marlon doesn't come bumbling in.

"Aaron. Don't ruin things for him." Vic looks like she's pleading with him and he doesn't know what he's actually supposed to say to her.

"What does that even mean?" His heart is thumping and -

"You _know_ what I mean. I see it. I see the way you look at each other and I try and tell myself that it's not actually possible because it _isn't_ but -" Vic holds her head for a second and then sighs. "I see it."

Aaron goes to speak and then drops his head. It's enough apparently for Vic to sigh hard and be made even more aware.

"Have you told him how you feel?" Vic almost demands to know and Aaron shrugs a little, because last night was something. It really was. He shakes his head though and Vic sighs again.

"Well it's pretty clear anyway, and you're only going to _mess_ with his head even more."

Aaron pulls his hoodie over his hands and feels tears in his eyes suddenly. He wills them to disappear.

"You think I wanted this?" He hisses, then drops his head. "I kissed him last night and this morning I left before he even woke up when all I wanted to do was be right next to him." Aaron shudders, rubs at his face so that Vic doesn't see him crying but it's pointless.

She just tuts, crosses her arms over. "He _stayed_?"

Aaron looks down. "I had to check he was okay after his fight with Andy. You know - - make sure because - because I care so much Vic and I hate it."

He remembers waking up half way through the night and feeling Robert shudder so he wrapped his arms around him tighter.

Vic raises an eyebrow and Aaron can tell she wants to reach out and hug him and call him mad for feeling like this about her stupid brother but -

"Aaron if he doesn't match you, then he's stuck the way he is. God if he could match you with _himself_ he probably would but he _can't_." Vic looks suddenly like she's only a small girl. "Aaron, you've got _Ed_. He has no one and -"

"He could have me." Aaron's chin wobbles, and he doesn't have the strength to stop the tears from falling down his face.

Vic frowns softly. "No he couldn't." She says sadly.

And maybe Aaron's always going to be doomed like this when it comes to feelings, relationships.

Just maybe.

"You have to let him down gently."

Aaron whips his head up at that. "What? Pretend like last night never even -"

"Ed. France. Your whole life ahead of ya." Vic flys a hand up. "Aaron, Robert will be even less than a forgotten memory as soon as he shoots you. So I'm begging ya, please just - look towards your future and don't try and hold him back for your benefit."

She looks sorry as she finishes and Aaron kicks at the counter as she turns to leave.

 

~*~

 

Robert is avoiding flying up like the plague honestly.

He's left Andy's room and he only wants to go where Aaron is.

He feels this giddy sort of rush radiate through him as he flys towards the pub and then looks at the backroom.

Aaron's not there but Chas is. She's crying and looking at old baby photos of Aaron and Robert doesn't know if he should leave or not.

He hovers though, sort of against his better judgment and then she notices his presence and he makes himself visible.

"Sorry. I just wondered where Aaron was." Robert says, plays with his jacket a little as she speaks about not having a clue.

He goes to leave and she wipes at her face.

"What's happened to your face?" She asks and he holds his cheek awkwardly before shrugging.

"Scrap with Andy." Robert says, gulps and Chas puts her head down. Robert bites at his lip before turning around.

"Don't go telling Aaron that you saw me in this state." Chas orders and Robert smiles because it must be a Dingle thing, not wanting to worry each other.

"Promise I won't." He hesitates to leave as he hears her sniff and lean forward to get some tissues. He gets there first and hands them to her kindly.

The gesture looks like it creeps her out and he goes to leave before she starts talking.

"He was so innocent here, look."

She holds up a picture of Aaron. He looks about five years old and he's wearing a pair of pyjamas, the top cluttered with trains.

Robert's heart flips against it and Chas smiles.

"And then I ruined him. Again and again, and I let him down." Chas shudders. "That's why, I'm grateful for you being here."

And Robert was not expecting this when he walked through the door.

What he _was_ expecting was to see Aaron and sort of discuss last night and what it all meant.

Robert is stunned into sitting opposite her and she smiles at him.

"I know I've hardly been the _most_ welcoming but - you're making him happy again. By helping him find his person. Ed."

He doesn't know why that's such a dagger.

Okay well he _does_ know but it shouldn't hurt his much.

It's almost unbearable.

Almost wilts his wings.

Robert brushes it off and smiles back at her faintly.

"All he deserves is a fresh start you know." Chas explains, a hand falling over another picture of Aaron, a little bit older, feet lodged in sand and a grin on his face. "Ed will give him that. In France."

Robert clears his throat.

"You are still agreeing to it aren't you? You said a few days and -"

Basically his time is almost up, that's why she's trying to say.

If he didn't have any sense about him, he could tell her that her son kissed him last night and wrapped his arms around his Cupid until they both fell asleep.

He could tell her a lot of things about Aaron and how ridiculously unfair it is to feel all of this stuff for someone who will never ever be able to _fully_ grasp it.

And that's what hurts the most.

This divide between the two of them.

The fact that whatever messed up feelings they have for each other is sort of awfully heightened in a heartbreaking way.

Robert suddenly pales, under the interografion from Chas he wills himself not to believe that any sort of _genuine_ emotion can be felt between them.

Because Aaron has _Ed_.

Robert smiles faintly. "Yeah. I said, didn't I?"

Chas' shoulders relax. "Just checking we're still on the same page." She wipes her eyes. "About Aaron's happiness coming first."

And Robert nods, eyes glazing over suddenly. "There's not any other page to be on."

Especially not the 'it's clear that we've fallen for each other and have to talk about this and I can't bring myself to shoot you with Ed and never see you ever again' page.

That doesn't exist.

That _can't_ exist.

 

~*~

 

He's just sitting there thinking when Aaron walks in and looks at him all wide eyed and confused to see Robert sitting there on his sofa.

He doesn't know what to say and for a second they just stare at each other and Robert is suddenly aware that he *should say saying.

He should start it off shouldn't he? Before Aaron says something he doesn't actually mean.

"Hi." Robert whispers, and his face has cleared up from yesterday already Aaron realises. He's also trying to smile but it doesn't meet his eyes.

Suddenly Aaron's back to where they were last night. He's kissing Robert and it's feeling light and good to do and nothing else actually matters.

And then they're falling asleep and touching Robert like this is more than bearable. It feels like he's coming *home and nothing can honestly describe that feeling.

Nothing.

"I think we need to talk." Robert says, and he wills himself to keep things cold between him and Aaron. If he gives anything away then all of this could crumble and Aaron won't get his new fresh start away from this all.

Aaron suddenly feels like a kid and nods his head before sitting opposite Robert and looking up at him.

"Aaron, we have to forget what happened okay?"

And Aaron expected this, deep down he thought it may be coming but it hurts so much that he has to look away.

Because how is he supposed to just forget like that?

"Forget?" He whispers, and Robert nods his head. His wings droop down and when Aaron looks at him a feather drops towards the floor so suddenly that it catches him by surprise.

Vic said the same, Vic seems to think that them attempting to stay the way they are isn't going to be good. Instead it's going to cause Aaron to be miserable and for Robert to never be mortal.

He doesn't want Robert _stuck_ like this.

He couldn't bare it if that was the case.

He really couldn't.

But -

"Rob, last night wasn't a -"

He's trying to breathe right but suddenly Robert is waving a hand up and telling him to stop talking.

"It wasn't a mistake, I know." He says heavily, pulls his hands together and gulps. "But Aaron, you need to trust me."

And he does, he does trust him. He also can't deny the fact that the way he feels about him is so scary that sometimes he can't breathe right. Last night proved that. It proved absolutely everything and Robert held him in a way that -

Robert looks up and sees a pink glow above his head and stands suddenly.

"Aaron stop thinking about it." He snaps. "Don't you get it? You and Ed, you _belong_ together. You're getting matched and -" Aaron looks up at him.

"I don't want to be matched with _him_." He shouts. "Because I -"

Robert backs towards the wall. "Don't say anything." He says, pleads almost and he has his hands out in front of him as Aaron looks up at him and shudders.

He hears it, he hears all the fear in his voice and the regret.

And -

"I kissed ya Robert." Aaron whispers, bites at his lip and remembers. "And I saw you, you - you didn't run from me."

He didn't.

He couldn't.

Robert thinks of Chas, he pictures Aaron in France, living his best life and being so gloriously happy and content and with someone who can love him and -

"It needs to stay in the past." Robert whispers, shakes his head. "I'm sorry if - if I gave you the wrong idea." He dares to do that, make it all Aaron's doing and he watches the younger man frown.

"No." Aaron whispers, and he stands, walks straight towards Robert and holds him by the wrist.

Nothing hurts at all.

"Look. We - we don't hurt each other Rob." He whispers, "Robert that has to mean _something_."

Maybe.

God maybe.

Aaron holds Robert closer towards him and dares to touch his face but then Robert says something he doesn't mean because it'll work, it has to work and -

"All I want is to be mortal. Don't stand in the way of that Aaron."

It makes a tear just roll down Aaron's face and he drags himself away.

He feels like someone's just kicked his stomach and he gets it. He gets that last night meant so much to him and not _enough_ for Robert.

"Fine." Aaron whispers, his heart aching so suddenly. "I - I thought that - that maybe we could be enough together. Me not being matched with anyone and you not being mortal."

Robert frowns. That would never ever work.

It couldn't.

Maybe they didn't hurt each other when they touched anymore but the energy difference between the two of them would always be this crippling weight.

Unavoidable.

"I'm gonna go see Ed." Aaron whispers, and he just wants Robert to say something. He wants him to fight and say something so that he knows it wasn't all in his head after all. "And then you're going to shoot me and - I'll be glad to never see your face again."

Robert looks up and his eyes are red raw as Aaron's face grows red and puffy.

"I hate ya." Aaron says, wipes at his face so suddenly and then he's gone and Robert clutches at his chest before he slowly feels himself falling towards the ground and -

No human has ever ever made him sob the way he is now.

 

~*~

 

He's not heartbroken.

It's okay. Everything is absolutely okay.

He keeps telling himself as his knuckles turn white against the cabinet in his room and he tries not to cry.

Everything seems to ache and he wants to shout and scream at whoever is laughing at him up there.

Because he goes and starts developing all these overwhelming feelings for the _only_ person he can't possibly feel anything for.

He wants to talk to someone, tell them that they're an absolute dick for doing this to him. For making just everything hurt inside him in this cruel way.

It feels differently to when he thought he had blown it with Jackson one of the first times they'd argued. That was horrible, for Jackson to reject him and his apologies.

 _This_ though, it has no sense to it. Not really.

Because what he feels isn't actually possibly so either he's going mad or he doesn't actually have a clue what this sort of feeling is.

He thinks back to how Robert had described what proper love. He remembers how pink his wings went, how they started to flipping glitter.

That couldn't be just in his head? It couldn't.

It has to be, he realises.

He's got Vic on his mind telling him not to ruin things, to get his happy ending so that Robert can get his and it hurts how they can't find happiness with 'each other.

But it's not even like that's what Robert wants.

"I hate ya." Aaron says, hands shaking as he looks at the picture of Robert on his phone.

He'd taken it after they had played football whilst the moon watched them.

Robert was as red as a flipping tomato and Aaron couldn't resist. He'd taken a picture of him when he wasn't looking, hair flat and sticky against his forehead and breathing out quickly.

He looked beautiful.

And Aaron couldn't deny it.

He still can't, and he still hates him.

He _wants_ to hates him so much.

 

~*~

 

Somehow he manages to get himself down to the rugby track and he wills himself to kick his sadness out of him and grab this opportunity with both hands.

He shakes his hands a little, gulps hard as he catches Ed racing up and down the field. It's late, the sky is dark and there's a bitterness in it which makes him look down instead of up towards the grass.

He decides to wait until he hears a whistle and the boys start jogging back towards the changing rooms.

Ed seems to spot him from where he is and he stops what he's doing and just stares. Aaron stares back at him and then he feels his shoulders relax as Ed comes towards him.

"Thought I'd scared you off." Ed says, and Aaron tries to get his head around the fact that only yesterday Ed dropped the whole France bomb shell on him.

So much has happened since and he can't seem to do anything about it.

"You hadn't." Aaron reassures, eyes flicker. "Can we go somewhere? To talk."

And Ed leads them towards a bench just outside of the field and plays with his hands before he looks up at Aaron.

"I like you. A lot. I wouldn't be asking you to come with me if I didn't." Ed says, and Aaron watches him for a second, everything so conflicting inside of him as he holds at his hand because -

Ed doesn't give him butterflies.

"I know." Aaron says eventually, and he likes Ed. He's just painfully aware that what he feels for Robert is so much more, in every sort of way possible.

And there's nothing he can possibly do.

But he's got someone in front of him who seems to honestly care about him in a way that Robert doesn't or won't admit to.

Ed smiles faintly and then looks more serious. "If you came here to bin me off, say no then I get it." He says, nods a little even like he's already trying to wrap his head around it.

Aaron frowns, "No." He says suddenly. "Look I'm not saying it's a no." He shrugs and Ed takes that.

He stands and Aaron sees that he's still got his rugby ball in hand.

"Come on, let's see how good you are."

And okay, running around a field with Ed for a bit manages to be some sort of light relief.

He's forgetting about Robert The Idiot and the way everything hurts still and he falls onto the grass with a thud.

"God, that's tiring." Aaron pants out and Ed smiles at him before laughing.

"You only kicked the ball in the air and ran a bit." Ed explains and it sounds like nothing but honestly Aaron found it hard to breathe.

He rolls his eyes against it and then feels something light travel through him.

Ed makes him laugh sometimes.

Ed could make him happy.

He could.

Aaron feels like he's on the edge of a cliff or something and there's sand at the bottom to cushion his fall.

Only Robert is begging him not to fall, deep down, deep deep down he's begging him.

But Aaron can't hear any words coming out of his mouth so he leaps off and Ed catches him and he's safe in his arms. There's no denying that he makes the sand easier to fall into and -

"I'll come with you." Aaron blurts out and Ed frowns for a second before he gets it and then he's sitting up and his eyes are all wide.

"You mean it?"

And he does. "Yeah. I mean - yeah I do." He wills himself to sound certain, clears his throat and smiles a little and then he's feeling Ed press a kiss to his lips.

And Robert feels something inside his chest break as he watches from above.

 

~*~

 

He's barricaded himself in his room and he's under the covers.

It's not even that late and he's not written in his book yet but Robert is done for the day. He's really just absolutely done and he'd rather sleep away the day than have to see Ed and Aaron bounce back from their wobble.

And that's what they did.

Bounced back.

There's a gentle knock on the door followed by a harsher one and he wills them to go away until Clarissa is there with a sensitive look about her which is supposed to reassure him.

It doesn't.

"I want to be alone. Okay, just leave me alone." Robert feels like a teenager as he speaks, as he feels her warmness travel towards him and when he looks up from the pillow he can see her standing above him.

"Oh Robert." She says sadly and there's still this warmth about her as she pulls a hand across his hair and sighs. "I told you this would be hard."

Robert wants to say something sensible but he can't. Instead he snaps out from the bed and stands there shaking his head.

" _Hard_?" Robert shouts, and his head is spinning. "Clarissa, tell me what's wrong with me. Because - because what I feel for him isn't -"

"Possible." Clarissa stresses, and he watches her head look hazy and confused in front of him. "Darling. Some things just have to be."

And he drops his head, feels his eyes watering. "I fell for him. So quickly. I feel and - I don't think I'll be able to ever get over this."

But Clarissa has her eyes wide and filled with all this strength suddenly.

"Of course you will. Once you shoot him, everything will be over. And you'll be home again, isn't that what you've always wanted?"

And before him _yes_.

Before Aaron barged into his life - or he barged into his more like - all he wanted was to be normal again.

And then Aaron smiled, he smiled and Robert felt everything get caught up inside him and nothing was the same.

"Not anymore." Robert snaps, hands clammy and eyes wet, and his heart feels like it's going to explode. "Not if - if staying with Aaron is an -"

"It's not an option Robert. We both know -"

"I know!" Robert shouts, and his wings shudder so suddenly that feathers start to fall. "It doesn't make it hurt any less though does it?"

And Clarissa for once doesn't have an answer.

"He was the first person who actually cared about me, actually give a toss about how I feel. And then it's all gone just like that. I have to forget, just like that."

Robert feels something explode inside of him.

"I know it seems hard now. But Robert, there's nothing to be done."

Robert sniffs, eyes sore and red.

"He's just going to go. Just like that." He can't get passed that fact and neither can Clarissa can't either.

She just nods her head sadly and Robert tells her to go and she does.

He falls into this horrible miserable slumber and he tells himself that he won't stand by and watch this happen for a day longer.

' _I'll shoot him tomorrow. And everything will be over.'_

He writes, wills himself to believe it.

 

~*~

 

He has a dream, Aaron's there and he's packing his bags for France and Ed is all over him.

He's managed to absolutely forget Robert and what happened between them and how much it meant.

Ed is kissing his neck, and Aaron doesn't seem to mind about how full on it all is.

"Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." Aaron mumbles and suddenly Robert sees himself there and he's shooting Aaron.

He's watching his body fall to the ground a little and then Ed's holding him up and oh -

There it is.

Aaron's eyes practically form hearts and Robert's seen this before. He's seen it with Gennie and David and Kerry. He knows that it'll wear off in a few seconds but for now, he's stuck looking at Aaron looking at Ed like he's never loved anyone else in the world.

Robert practically leaps from the bed he's in and pants hard, he's got a hand on his forehead and he's trying his hardest to calm down when Clarissa is knocking on his door.

He can't even begin to see her today, doesn't even want to try and engage in talk with her but she comes in regardless.

She smiles a little. "Today you'll be free Robert." She says softly, "You'll be free and everything will be okay again. You can start living."

And living _without_ Aaron is the bit she seems to miss.

He supposes he still hates him for how cold he was the day before so he decides to hang low for the day.

He's thinking about that being their last conversation though and something actually breaks in his chest because -

They can't be it?

They have to say goodbye before he matches him and Aaron never sees him again.

Robert hovers by the pub, shuffles on his feet up and down and side to side for a few seconds and debates whether or not to go up the stairs and say hello. He's stopped short of his ideas though when Chas comes out to clear glasses or something and she spots him.

"Oh. Hi." Chas says, smiles a little and it's unnerving. "I suppose I should be saying thanks." She shrugs.

Robert's eyes flicker and then he gulps hard. "Aaron's decided to go with him after all then." He says, makes out he wasn't watching over him make the decision last night. That's just creepy now.

Chas nods brightly, clinks the glasses in her hands and then looks up towards his bedroom window. "He's already packing."

And Robert's face drops. "Packing?" He asks, because surely he's not going away so soon.

Surely if Robert suddenly changed his mind about shooting him today then he'd have the time to do it tomorrow or -

"Yeah. I know. He's left it a little late bless him. Why don't you go up and help?"

Robert doesn't move, just stands where he is and then Chas frowns at him.

"When's he going?" Robert whispers, feels his chest expand and tighten over and over again.

Chas' eyes flicker. "Erm. Late tonight I think."

Robert clears his throat, "Oh wow. That's - that's quick." He says. "Good thing he sorted it out then."

And Chas suddenly looks wary. "Yeah. Good thing." She nods and Robert backs himself against the wall as he tries to walk up the stairs.

"I should, you know go and -" Robert feels his head slap against the brick and Chas holds back a laugh as she watches Robert race up the stairs and then he passes as soon as he gets to Aaron's door.

He decides to knock and Aaron doesn't answer so he knocks again.

This time nothing happens and he sighs hard before opening the door himself.

He sees Aaron sitting on the bed looking down at his phone and all his clothes are sprawled out in front of him like he's a teenager who can't make his mind up about what to wear.

The sound of Robert coming inside the room makes Aaron practically jump out of his skin and he chucks his phone on the bed because Robert catching him looking at a picture of him on his phone is too embarrassing for words.

Aaron quickly rubs at his face and then tries to look up at Robert and struggles.

"Packing then?" Robert's voice is tight and he doesn't trust himself to say anything else.

Aaron dares to look up at him and tries to harden himself. "What are you doing here?"

And that's a good question.

"I didn't want to leave things the way they were." Robert explains, still has his back against the door as he speaks.

Aaron scoffs. "If you cared about me even a little bit then you would have." He waves a hand out and seeing Robert now is just making everything harder.

Robert's wings droop. "Of course I care about you." He snaps, and he looks at Aaron for too long so he suddenly has to look away.

Aaron catches his breath. "Well then why are we doing this?" He says and there he goes again putting his heart on the line only to be trampled on.

Robert just stares at him and his mouth is gaping in this awful way. Aaron instantly feels sorry for even trying to do this but then it passes because -

He's not going to get another chance like this is he?

Robert gulps. "You know why." He says plainly, has to look away a little as he speaks.

Aaron shudders. "I know what you say, I know what you keep saying but I know that there must be a way out of it." He says, and he moves the sleeves of his jumper right down, right over his hands.

Robert wants to scream suddenly, wants to tell Aaron that if there _was_ a way then he'd be the first to make sure it happens.

It's almost insulting for Aaron not to think he would.

He nearly tells him as much and then thinks better of himself and gulps against everything.

"It's because you wouldn't want to anyway would you?" Aaron snaps. "Even _if_ there was a way."

And he's wrong but Robert just keeps his head down because telling Aaron how he _really_ fees with real words _aloud_ is probably the cruelest thing he could do right now.

Aaron looks back down to his clothes and grabs a hoodie before attempting to fold it into a bag and then stopping himself suddenly.

The weight of what he's doing is too much to bare.

"Suppose you're shooting me tonight then." Aaron doesn't even raise his head. If he did then he'd be crying and Robert would see.

This fear just races right through him and then Robert nods his head.

"Yeah." He admits, there's really no point lying about that is there? Robert leans further towards the door and Aaron frowns up at him.

"Will it hurt?" Aaron says, and Robert's heart _lunges_ forward so suddenly that he has to catch his breath.

" _No_." Robert promises, shakes his head as he does so. "I promise ya, it won't hurt. I wouldn't -"

"What? Break my heart?" Aaron spits and when he looks up Robert suddenly looks down and everything is so horribly heavy.

Aaron hears Victoria's voice in his head and then hears Robert telling him he wants to be mortal.

He's wanted that for nearly a decade or something like that and Aaron's come along and tried to guilt trip him into thinking differently.

He sort of hates himself for that. He really does.

And Robert probably hates him too.

"Aaron," Robert says heavily and it's filled with so much suddenly. It's filled with this sadness and this anger and this heartbreak and everything he's ever wanted to say and Aaron almost cries against how awful this all seems to be.

"Bye Robert." Aaron says, so final.

Robert's eyes flicker. "I'll see you later. I'll - I'm not leaving it like -"

"Just go." Aaron says and Robert just can't breathe.

"You're - you're going to have such an amazing life Aaron." Robert has something stuck in throat and it only gives in once he's backing out of the room and hearing Aaron slam something against the door in frustration.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's got his hand against Jackson's headstone and he smiles down at him a little like he's suddenly grateful or sorry or both.

"It's for the best." Aaron's whispering, eyes flickering and there's this sadness in his tone that he can't let go of because he's a matter of hours away from leave this sorry place behind. "Robert's said all this stuff." He pulls a face and gulps. "And it's like he genuinely thinks everything is going to be okay."

There's a gentleness about everything he says and then something _jams_ through him and he shudders.

"I had to say goodbye." And something is caught up in his throat against how he feels, there's this feeling growing right in his chest and it's all because of Robert. "Never - never see him again. Lose - lose my best friend."

And he won't tell Adam but that's exactly who Robert was.

Is.

 _Was_.

Aaron shakes at himself and manages to keep his head down, eyes dry. "For a shiny new start." He whispers, and Robert could absolutely never be *his fresh start could he?

Because the world didn't work that way and he didn't get just anything he wanted.

And because Robert Sugden had a plan and a life and beauty about him that Aaron was always too far away to ever _dream_ of grabbing ahold of.

Aaron blows out a breath. "I'll be okay though." He says, because eventually this sort of hole in heart that Jackson made and Robert _healed_ before _making_ again, will seize to exist.

Surely.

He smiles down at the headstone again and there's tears in his eyes that he stubbornly wipes away.

"I'll have to be okay."

And that's a completely different thing to say.

 

~*~

 

There's a madness about staring down at arrows and knowing you'll have to use them in a matter of hours.

They're small, golden, _sharp_ and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with them for now.

He's hung right up in the clouds and Clarissa's standing right behind him with this look on her face.

She's frowning, looks almost sad and Robert tenses around her words.

"It'll be over in no time." Clarissa whispers, hands gentle over the floor and growing flowers by his feet. "And then you can come back up here and - we can throw you a party before you lose your wings tomorrow morning. First thing."

Robert shudders at the thought of what she's going on about. He's seen the parties and the balloons and the celebration. All the Angels rally together and everyone cries and waves goodbye and it's so _happy_. "Celebrate losing Aaron?" He's saying, cold, distant and that's exactly how he's got to be if he wants to keep himself together.

Clarissa doesn't say anything until he turns around and looks at her.

"You've been waiting for this moment for so long -"

"And now it means nothing at all." Robert shrugs suddenly, because *Aaron is the one who means everything to him now, not the chance of being human and alone once again.

"I know this has been so hard on you Robert, but there's honestly nothing that can be done."

Nothing at all.

Absolutely nothing.

Robert winces against her words and then shakes his head slowly.

"I have to go." He brings the arrows up towards him and then moves to turn away but Clarissa holds him back.

"Everything is going to be okay."

And for a second Robert almost sees him mum smiling at him, he almost wants to reach out and hug her and then he thinks better of it all and slowly just nods.

"I'll see you later." Robert says, and then he flys down once again.

For the very last time.

 

~*~

 

The sky is filled with a darkness about it by the time Robert watches Aaron having a pint in the pub with Cain.

Everyone seems to be having a great time, joking about Aaron finding the one and everything finally working out for him and Robert absolutely despises it all.

He feels like he's going to cry against it as he watches Cain buy Aaron another pint and smile at him, actually flipping smile.

"I'm glad everything's worked out for you." Cain says, punches at Aaron's arm and then looks at his nephew more seriously. "And if anything happens, you just let me know."

Aaron scoffs against it, tries his hardest to smile but it's pointless and his mum must realise because it doesn't take long for her to drag him into the back room and frown at him.

"You mind cheering up?" She's smiling, only playing but there's a seriousness in her eyes that tells Aaron he's worrying her again.

He nods his head and looks down at his phone, he's expecting a text from Ed telling him he's close by or something but he's more bothered about Robert.

Of course.

He was supposed to show up and say goodbye properly and he's sick of raising his head every single time the door goes only to be disappointed.

Aaron holds his breath for a second and then his eyes flicker.

"Mum," he says, like he's just a kid. "Do you think - think it's ever actually possible to get over someone?"

And it's this heavy weighted question and he doesn't know what he's expecting her to say but he just cannot imagine not thinking about Robert one day.

"Of course." Chas says, frowns a little. "You move on love, you do."

It's not like she's a relationship expert on anything but Aaron tries to believe her.

"Is this - about Jackson?"

Only it's not.

He's made this soft peace with the boy he loved and what they had and how it's gone now but it was _good_ whilst it lasted.

Only it's about _Robert_.

"I -" he goes to speak, tell her the truth and then Marlon's popping his head around the door and telling him that Ed's showed up.

Robert watches from above, knows so suddenly that the moment is now and everything inside him burns with this feeling of absolute dismay.

He doesn't want to, he can't, he doesn't want to.

He follows Aaron towards Ed outside, and he's got a taxi parked up and everyone's helping Aaron with his bags and crying.

Especially Chas.

She's an absolute mess and Aaron smiles at her, he knows this is all for the best, he's so aware of that and it's painful.

"I'm going to miss you so much love." Chas squeezes at his cheek and he doesn't even flinch away from her. He smiles a little and then he's got tears running down his face suddenly. "You're going to have the _best_ time away from here, all the sad memories."

Aaron blinks quickly, "There's some good ones too."

He was with Jackson here.

He got his first job here.

He met Robert -

Chas nods, and then suddenly Paddy is coming towards him and he's bright red. He removes his glasses and punches Aaron's arm.

"And you'll make a million more." Paddy almost promises and Aaron just nods.

Paddy's never been wrong before, not about important things like this.

"I'll come back at Christmas." Aaron tells his mum, attempts to not start crying again as she suddenly hugs him tightly and hears Adam attempting not to get emotional right beside him.

"You'll be back in a few _weeks_ mate, finally going to ask Vic the big question." Adam's whispering into his ear and Aaron's eyes widen. "Life's too short." He has this nervousness about him but he's still certain.

And he's right.

And life is too sure, it is.

Aaron's face falls at that and he thinks about the fact that if there any other way he wouldn't be leaving Robert like this and they'd sort it out together. Only it's impossible so just he nods his head and hugs him tighter.

There's something growing in his chest and as he turns to look at Ed he's never felt so conflicted.

"You ready?" Ed says, a smile on his face so innocently.

And Robert's heart is beating out of his chest, because he wanted to say goodbye properly, alone, just him and Aaron but -

It's too late for that. It's too late for any of that and he has to -

He pulls out the bow and arrow with an awful ease about him and suddenly Aaron's perfectly within sight. His eyes are blurry and wet and his hands are shaking a little but he's still going to do it.

Aaron suddenly looks straight in front of him, and he can't see Robert but he _can_ see a feather falling towards the floor.

It makes him gasp, eyes wide and -

Robert lets go.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun ....


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert fails to cope without Aaron. Aaron faces reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS FINALLY HERE

  
There's not this sudden change. The world keeps spinning just fine and time continues to exist but Aaron's eyes flicker in this soft way and he looks at Ed _warmly_.

"I'm ready." He says, holds his hand tightly and Robert lets out this awful sob because he's _gone_.

There's this realisation he cannot escape from and it's glaring at him as he sees how Aaron is looking at Ed. There's a pinkness about him and he can hear the Angels clapping excitedly and -

Robert doesn't want to stare for a second longer.

He doesn't want to _exist_ so suddenly either.

He stares at Aaron climbing into the car and the way he's a little unsteady on his feet but that's to be expected. He's in love now, that's sometimes a side effect.

Robert's missed how that feels.

He really really has.

There's a hole in heart now; gaped open and filled with this awful sadness and he _watches_ the taxi leave.

And then he tries flying away from the scene but the sight of the arrow which fell against the road after hitting Aaron, stares up at him.

He grabs ahold of it, feels it vibrate and sparkle in his hand and then holds it towards his chest.

And Aaron, he drives away from the village and the world has the audacity to just keep spinning without a care in the world for the state of Robert's heart.

 

~*~

 

Robert decides to stick two fingers up to the idea of a party to celebrate his work over the years.

Instead he helps himself to a bottle of something and his hands slips and -

He nearly kills Chas because she didn't expect to see Robert Sugden in her backroom.

"Blimey." She's not crying anymore, face red and puffy though and she looks confused as Robert tries to leave. "I didn't see you saying goodbye."

Robert clears his throat and all of _this_ is too hard to even begin to confront.

"Didn't have anything else to say." Robert mumbles. "I shot him. It's over. I hope that makes you very pleased."

Only her face doesn't look pleased at all.

Robert dares to wonder if she looks - concerned?

"I am. Very." Chas says, and then there's something soft about how she looks at him. "Are you?"

"I couldn't be happier." Robert doesn't miss a beat and he hopes that's enough to stop her from looking at him the way she is but -

It doesn't work.

"You did the right thing. Not being selfish."

And she _knows_.

She clearly knows and Robert shrinks himself away against it, shoulders hunched and head tilted.

"Then how comes it feels _this_  wrong?" Robert's hands shake against the bottle he's holding and his eyes are stinging and he'll wake up tomorrow without his wings and this _whole_ life to lead but it won't be enough.

He'll know that.

He'll always know that.

His stomach flips as he speaks and then he holds everything back and shudders before passing Chas and leaving.

 

~*~

 

He's not supposed to be drinking, he's not supposed to be knocking back bottles of anything he can find and crying his heart out like this but here he is.

He's sitting in the cricket pavilion and holding the arrow towards his chest still and just shaking with how absolutely awful it all feels.

And his wings are still in place, because apparently when he wakes up _tomorrow_ they'll be gone.

They mock him, hanging low and grey and reminding him of exactly who he is and what that means.

He's going to be human again tomorrow, he's going to be mortal again and it's the start of his new life.

A brand new shiny life and Aaron will be miles and miles away enjoying his and that's exactly what was supposed to happen. He was always meant to watch Aaron fall in love with someone and it was never going to be with _him_.

He closes his eyes and tries to imagine meeting someone who would love him. He imagines moving on and getting married and knowing that Aaron is doing the exact same thing elsewhere. He can't picture it, he just _can't_.

Because Aaron's always going to be what he should have had. He thinks about what would have happened if he didn't die, he would have met Aaron and hated him and they'd have been enemies until they were kissing.

Maybe he would have stopped Aaron's pain of losing Jackson?

Maybe he would have been his first love?

His whole body turns to jelly at that and this anger rises straight through him and manages to completely trash the pavilion as he cries and loses his absolute mind over a million what ifs.

Again and again.

Robert shudders against the feeling racing through him as he holds the arrow in his hand and stumbles out of the pavilion.

He's near the pub when he sees Charity and Vanessa flying out, laughing about something and kissing and then -

Gennie has her arms wrapped around Nikhil and she's so in love and -

David has a family, he's happy and Robert is so proud that he's made that possible but it also makes everything blacken in his heart because all he wants is to feel that.

Above absolutely everything else, Robert has finally learnt his lesson maybe, because he knows what love means.

He knows how precious it is and how quickly someone can _fall_ because it's happened to him now and maybe it serves him right for Aaron leaving for a new life with a new love but that doesn't stop the way everything starts to ache uncontrollably.

Because he'll be human, he'll be mortal again but he'll still be _alone_ won't he?

Robert keeps stumbling about as he gets towards the bus shelter and suddenly his eyes flicker again as he looks at the arrow.

"I want love." Robert whispers, slurs almost and his skin is paling. He can hear the Angels whispering for him to come up now but he refuses to listen. Instead he has tears streaming down his face. "I want you to love _me_ Aaron." And suddenly his hands begin to shake and -

He shoots himself.

 

~*~

 

Aaron has this sickly sweetness running though him and it gives him this awful headache as he sits next to Ed in the taxi and smiles.

"We can check in and then go get something to eat, yeah?" Aaron hears Ed speak, feels him lean forward to kiss him and -

_Robert._

Suddenly there's almost this explosion of something ripping through him and he's pulling himself away.

This pink haze is parting and he shakes his head against the way Ed is reaching out for him.

"Ed I can't." He says, keeps shaking his head and there's only Robert forming in his mind over and over again.

He wants him, he wants Robert Jacob Sugden and -

He's in love with him.

He can't _leave_ him.

Not for Ed, not for France.

"You can't - can't what?" Ed's confused and has every right to be only Aaron feels something inside him _pushing_ at his heart and telling him to turn back.

"I can't come with you." He says.

Ed's face falls. "How comes?" His voice is tight like he's trying not to become emotional.

Aaron bites his lip. "I'm - I'm in love with someone else."

Someone _else_.

Robert is suddenly everywhere and this feeling explodes in his chest over and over again. He hears himself, and how short he's being but he can't fight against it because his heart _aches_ suddenly.

He just wants _him_.

And everything else seems to follow in this awfully quick way.

Ed goes, confused and hurt and upset and Aaron's standing on the pavement with his bags by his side.

He knows, so suddenly, what has happened. He feels the ache of the arrow and it probably means that it hasn't worked. He shouldn't _feel_ what has happened, he shouldn't _know_ either.

But he does.

And knowing it hasn't worked seems to make him run all the way home.

 

~*~

 

As soon as Aaron steps foot into the village he senses that something is so very wrong. It just races through him and he can't breathe against the fact that he feels all this pain suddenly growing in his chest.

Suddenly he feels something in his throat begin to close and it's like he knows something has happened.

And then he sees.

Victoria's this sobbing mess of a woman and Adam's her close and Robert -

He's bleeding out on the floor.

"Rob?" Aaron's voice trips over himself and he staggers towards where Robert is laying.

He's pale and still, almost rigid, and his freckles are bright against his skin.

His wings are splintered and _broken_ and -

"Robert, I came back." Aaron shakes at Robert's body a little and then suddenly he's sighting the arrow. "Oh God."

It's bloody and been thrown towards Robert's side and -

He shot _himself_?

Aaron feels like he's going to be sick against it, and there's tears running down his face over and over again. "Rob - I came back because it didn't _work_." He hears Vic crying, she's still crying and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do because Robert is just not moving.

"Is he dead?" Vic cries into Adam's chest, shoulders vibrating and Aaron frowns.

"No. No - no that's - no he can't be." Aaron's eyes widen and he suddenly opens Robert's mouth and presses down on his chest, blowing air into him as he pushes down. "Come on - Robert -"

"He shot himself. He was that - that desperate for love." Vic whispers and it's loud enough for Aaron to start crying even harder against Robert.

"It's you. I'm in love with ya." Aaron slides a hand down Robert's cheek and presses a kiss to his face suddenly as he sees Andy run towards them. "Please - _please_." His head spins and spins and he's so tragically too late that everything burns inside.

He keeps crying, and Robert keeps his eyes closed and no one knows what they're supposed to do.

"I love you." He says, and he finds his head falling into Robert's lap.

 

~*~

 

Aaron opens his eyes and suddenly there's this unbearably bright light appearing out of the corner of his eye.

He hears the sounds of trinkets and winces a little before he's opening his eyes even wider and seeing a woman staring at him.

She's got _wings_ and Aaron can only think of one person.

"Where's Robert?" Aaron's frowning against the pain growing in his chest and it won't stop.

"He's okay." The woman says, and her wings flicker as she keeps staring at Aaron with this unreadable look on her face.

Aaron pulls himself up and his chin wobbles. "Where am I? I - I need to help Robert." And that's the only thing that matters, after all this time, he just needs _Robert_.

He always has done.

"You can't do anything about that yet."

" _Yet_?" Aaron huffs out a breath, gulping hard and crying. "But I love -"

"I know exactly how you feel. I'm Clarissa." Clarissa has a hand on Aaron's suddenly, "And I've been waiting for you for a while now."

Aaron's mouth hangs open in this awkward way and all he can see is Robert laying nearly dead on the road and he has now idea what she's on about.

"Waiting for me?" Aaron whispers, "I don't get -"

"There's a lot you don't get." Clarissa says, clearly trying to be kind but it just makes Aaron frown at her. "About you and Robert. There's a lot I didn't know right up until he shot himself and you felt that pain. Just now."

Aaron did feel something, this ache as soon as he arrived on the scene and saw Robert's broken body on the floor. He knew, he was so aware so easily.

Clarissa sighs a little and then gulps hard, waves a hand flying up towards the ceiling and then it rests back down on her lap. "Listen Aaron, you're aware that Robert's soul is intrinsically linked to Cupid's." Aaron nods slowly and Clarissa looks like she's bracing herself for something. "And yours, it's intrinsically linked to Psyche's."

Aaron's mouth closes suddenly and he's frowning against what on Earth she's talking about.

It seems to be big though, because she suddenly sits and Aaron nearly jumps out of his skin as he watches the Angels circulate.

"What are you talking about?"

And apparently, him not having a clue about mythology makes this less dramatic than it should be.

"Aaron. Psyche is married to Cupid. They're bonded lovers?" Clarissa's wings nearly take flight against the redness in her face. "And that means, Robert was always destined to fall in love with *you and -"

"I was always destined to fall in love with him?" Aaron's eyes are more than damp now, he's this mess of a man and there's just nothing he can do about the way he feels like he's going to faint if he doesn't get to hold Robert right now.

"If I had known this was _possible_ , I -"

Aaron raises his head. "You let him carry on, watching me with _Ed_ and you knew that -"

"I didn't think it could actually be possible." Clarissa whispers, gulps hard and her wings, transparent and bright, seem to sag a little. "There's this old wives tale about the last soul being Cupid's descendant to have for his own heart if he wishes. But like I say, I didn't actually think it -"

"But it _was_. It was and - and he was so _alone_ that he _shot_ himself." And that fact races through him so suddenly that he feels sick. "Because he wanted someone to love him."

And Aaron did.

He _does_.

He's ignored it for so long that it began to ache and become too much to bare and everything inside him is so suddenly full of regret.

"I should have told him before. I should have - have _never_ lied to him about how I feel." And Aaron finds himself rocking back and forth in this horrible way, he can't possibly do anything about it and Clarissa reaches out to touch him.

"It's not too late."

And Aaron's head raises up suddenly. "What - what can I do about it then?"

Because Robert was _lifeless_ wasn't he?

Clarissa leans forward. "You have to prove yourself, just like Psyche did. You have to prove that you're enough for Robert."

And that is more than Aaron can get his head around.

"I'm not." He knows, and deep down there's all this blackness about him. "I'm not enough for anyone, am I?" Because him and Ed weren't anything serious but as he stepped out of that taxi he wasn't enough to make Ed forget about his job. "I'm not good enough." And his eyes water.

They fall down his face and Clarissa manages to catch them and dissolve them in her hand. Aaron's almost in awe and then she smiles at him.

"Robert fell in love with you about three times after meeting you Aaron." And suddenly she produces a book, Robert's book, and Aaron's reading everything he's ever written.

It makes something twist in his chest and he doesn't know what to say until he's crying again. "What do I have to do?"

And he'll do anything to get Robert back.

 

~*~

 

Clarissa's somehow been able to pause time and Aaron feels her guiding him over the scene in front of him.

Robert laying on the ground with Vic and Adam standing over his body. He sees himself as well, head in Robert's lap and sobbing.

It sends a shiver through him and he has to fight against it until he's suddenly at the back of the pub and Clarissa is smiling at him a little.

"You have to listen very carefully to me Aaron. Robert is trapped, he's stuck between where I am and where you are. You have to prove yourself by bringing him down to you." Aaron doesn't know what to say, just keeps his mouth hanging open and he gulps hard.

"How can I do that? I don't even know if he's alive?"

Only he _is_.

Apparently.

"He just needs something, something to bring him _back_ and I realise now - it's you. This was always going to happen because it was always going to be you." Clarissa's eyes are suddenly wet and Aaron frowns against her emotions. "You have to go before it's too late Aaron. You have to - to find him and make him wake up -"

And she doesn't know how he's supposed to do that but apparently Aaron should know.

"He's the love of your life Aaron."

Aarons chin starts to wobble uncontrollably and he struggles to try to do anything about what he's just heard. His head drums suddenly. "Love of my life?" A tear rolls down his face and he didn't think he'd ever have one of those. He gave up after Jackson left him. His body tingles against how it all makes him feel and how soft Clarissa smiles at him.

"You'll figure it out. And when you do, he'll be mortal. Just like you."

It sounds simple, it sounds like Aaron just might have the ability to make it work but he also knows that he's never ever been enough for anyone.

And he doesn't have a clue where to start.

He's searching for Robert's lifeless self and has to try and will him back to life and it didn't work a few hours ago but apparently it should work just fine now if he tries hard enough.

Because now he's under this realisation that him and Robert are what? Soul mates, linked, meant to be or some ridiculous fate sort of shit that are suited to fairy tale.

He doesn't know what to do until he's reliving the places they've been.

He's in the garage and Robert's nowhere to be seen.

"Robert? Please - I need you to come back with me."

His voice echoes, he shuts his eyes and when he opens them again he's in the cricket pavilion and Robert is lying there on the floor.

He's bruised and pale and Aaron is on his knees holding him up so suddenly that he shakes.

"Rob - Robert, I knew I'd find ya here." Aaron whispers, eyes soft and warm and he has tears falling down his face. "Me and you, we're meant to be aren't we?" He shudders against everything he feels and looks at Robert.

He's beautiful, he's known that since he first clapped eyes on him.

"You have to come back with me. You - you can't leave me." Aaron buries his head into Robert's neck and feels his head begin to spin under the softness of Robert's scent.

And then Robert is suddenly opening his eyes, jolting and he feels like he's in this alternative world as he sees Aaron smiling at him.

"I love you. I love you Robert."

Robert hasn't heard right, he mustn't have heard it right. He frowns a little and there's something swirling in his chest all of a sudden.

"Am I dreaming?"

Aaron shakes his head and then frowns. "Well sort of." He says, almost laughs and then twists his lip. "I'm here to bring you back with me."

Robert's heart beats out of his head. "No, no - not like this. It doesn't work like this." He shudders a little, eyes wide and Aaron's not got the time to explain everything.

He hears something around him tell him that time is running out, that he needs to hurry up, pull Robert back before he disappears into the clouds and dies yet again.

"You have to trust me." Aaron holds at Robert's face, presses a kiss against Robert's forehead and smiles a little. "We'll be okay, yeah?"

Robert's eyes flicker delicately. "Aaron, no." His vision blurs and everything feels a little hazy as he hears his heart drum against his chest. "You need to get out, you need to leave me here." He whispers, and it's dark and cold but Aaron's worth more than this.

He's worth more than _this_.

"Listen." Aaron sniffs a little. "I know I'm younger, and - I'm impossible and stupid but I need you."

And he's always needed him.

He's told himself that he needed him because he was doing a _job_ but it's more than that. It literally always has been and to try and say otherwise is ridiculous.

But that's what he _did_. Over and over and over again.

Robert shudders against what he's hearing and his tears are wet against his face. All he can see is everything falling away and he's too weak to fight the way his eyes begin to close.

"No. No don't - don't close your eyes. Keep them _open_ for me." Aaron pats Robert's cheek lightly and the older man keeps struggling because when he closes his eyes he's floating further away from Aaron and closer towards a soft sky.

"I need you so much." Aaron pulls a hand through Robert's hair and he can't help the faint smile spreading across his face. "So, please - please come back to me. Because I want to be enough for you." He whispers, soft, slow and then suddenly he leans down and kisses Robert on the lips.

Once and then twice and,

"Robert, I love you." He pleads and Robert's eyes open.

 

~*~

 

Aaron jolts awake and finds himself in Victoria's living room sitting on her flowered seat with a pressed cushion under him.

The lights are this soft amber colour and he's holding Robert's hand who is laying on the sofa, stretched out and eyes closed shut.

"You're awake." Vic appears out of nowhere, passes Aaron a cup of tea and smiles a little. "You were talking in your sleep a little."

He takes the cup and then frowns at her. "I was asleep?" Aaron mumbles, and then he looks straight down at Robert. "Is he okay?" He suddenly says.

And he needs to know if it's worked or not.

Vic nods. "Just sleeping." She pulls her arms right around her. "He's still pretty out of it." Vic shudders a little. "He gave us all a scare though, he really did."

Robert's shirt is ripped open and his skin is sparkling like it did the night Aaron first kissed Robert.

" _You_ most of all." Vic says, and she's got tears in her eyes. "You were -" there's this nervousness in her voice and she frowns. "I've never seen you like that. I mean with - with Jackson, I didn't see you reacting first hand." She frowns, "I didn't think you'd react so -"

Aaron's chin wobbles. "I've been denying how I feel for so long." He blurts out, shakes his head a little as he speaks. "Seeing him here like - like _that_ -"

"But you and Ed were -"

"He could have shot me a million times but it still wouldn't have worked." Aaron shrugs. "Turns out it was always going to be me and him, no matter how stubborn we are." He has a faint smile on his voice and Vic stares at him.

"I didn't think it was possible. I mean - I knew you felt something for him but I didn't think it was this strong." Vic says, and Aaron doesn't know what exactly to say.

"Took me a while to get my head around the idea." He admits, bites his lip and then he's squeezing Robert's hand a little before a tear falls down his face. "I let him think I didn't love him? Because I didn't know what it properly felt like, not after Jackson but -"

Vic hugs him a little, crosses the room to do so and Aaron hugs at her shoulder before she's pulling away and telling him she's giving him some space with Robert.

He just stares down at him and sighs. "You opened your eyes, you came back right?" He whispers against Robert's hand and then suddenly he hears him.

"Aaron?" Robert whispers, eyes closed and his heart beating out of his chest. There's a blanket of soft sky and he can't breathe against the vision. "Aaron? Please - Aaron don't leave -"

Robert's trapped, in between the sky and the earth and all he wants is for Aaron to not let go of his hand.

"I'm here, Robert. I'm here." Aaron says suddenly, hands flying towards the back of Robert's neck as he shakes him a little. "Open your eyes and see for yourself."

And Robert does, can only smile as he sees Aaron over him with a watery grin on his face.

"You came back to me?"

Robert nods slowly. "I came back to you." He's sleepy, has a hand falling through Aaron's hair as he smiles at him and suddenly Aaron cannot control absolutely everything he feels all at once over and over again.

It feels like it's been _years_ since he held Robert this close to him.

"Clarissa - she - she said I could find ya, because me and you are -"

Robert holds Aaron's face. "I know." And he's been in his own battle, fighting against this thing inside him telling him to give up and not try to get back to Aaron. "Connected." And nothing inside them fizzles as they hold each other, they're almost _one_.

"I'm sorry." Aaron blurts out. "For being a coward, for - for not telling you how I felt." He says, all this guilt rising through him because Robert was _lifeless_ against the road only a few hours ago and his world felt like it suddenly had grounded to a halt.

"You didn't know - that it was _possible_." Robert tries to hold at Aaron's hand tighter but Aaron pulls it away suddenly.

"You were so _low_ that you - you shot yourself." Aaron's so blunt that Robert has to wince against it and he's back there. He's back to being this sorry excuse of a man who is so sick of being this way, so sick of being unloved and unwanted and -

He's losing it and reaching out for a bow and yeah in his alcohol induced state he thinks shooting himself with an arrow will make him _loved_.

Finally, perhaps.

Just finally he'll be _loved_.

"I didn't know why I was thinking. I wasn't trying to hurt myself ." Robert says slowly, coming to the realisation that back then all he wanted was _love_ and not death or whatever he had managed to put himself through for a few hours. "I wanted you to love me." He admits and he can barely look at Aaron now.

He's ridiculous and inadequate under how breathtakingly beautiful Aaron is.

And that hurts Aaron everywhere because he's always loved him, and he buried it, without even wanting to at first and then suddenly he was doing it knowingly because somehow it made things less complicated. But now, Robert is laying there with a whole in his chest that only the Angels handy work could fix and it's all his fault.

He breathes out slowly, and keeps his eyes on Robert in this oddly _daringly_ brave way.

"I do."

And Robert raises his head a little in disbelief, feels the colour in his wings come back and his heart _drum_ away. "But - but - Ed -"

Aaron shakes his head. "It didn't work you idiot." He's not sure how much Robert knows about, sniffs a little. "I came back because it didn't work and I wanted you." Robert faintly remembers hearing Aaron over him, shaking him and _trying_. "It's me and you, it's - it's always going to be me and you."

It makes Robert catch his breath.

"Always?" He blurts out, eyes damp.

"You're my best friend." Aaron starts. "And I tried being with someone but it didn't work. Because Ed wasn't for me. You are." He has tears rolling down his face and Robert feels his head _spin_ now. "And you came back -"

"Enough." Robert blurts out suddenly, feels his eyes grow tired under how much all of this so suddenly means and Aaron just frowns. "You were - were _enough_." He tries to smile through how heavy his whole body feels because he can suddenly see Aaron's face in his mind and it's _him_ bringing him back here.

It's only Aaron.

And Aaron's shoulders roll forward as he starts to cry on Robert's chest.

"I want you." Aaron whispers gently, "I want you so much and I shouldn't have ever tried to deny it."

Aaron's brave and bold and Robert is madly in love with him.

"As a friend?" Robert has a hint of something in his voice and Aaron shakes his head.

"No, not as a friend." Aaron says, and yeah okay they are best friends but this is so much more and he knows it.

He holds Robert's face and stares down at him, this mess of blonde hair and green eyes. He nearly lost him, watched him practically _die_ right in front of his eyes and now he's smiling up at him.

He saved him, somehow.

And he proved his worth.

"Don't leave me." Robert whispers suddenly and Aaron shakes his head.

"Not ever okay?" And he slips himself down on the sofa, it's awkward and squished and Robert is so overwhelmed that he struggles to settle under the weight of it all.

Under the fact that all along this was supposed to be how it ended, and the way Aaron is gently rubbing a hand over his chest, and what everything _means_ now.

"Tomorrow, everything is going to change." Robert whispers. "I'll wake up and - and I'll be human again." He's scared, scared of what it's going to feel like to be _himself_.

Aaron looks up at him. "You'll be you, without the wings. And you won't have to leave once it's dark outside anymore."

There's something so childish about the way Aaron speaks that makes something become clumped in Robert's throat.

"I don't have to leave." He whispers back and Aaron's smiling under it, this warmth spreading through him. "And you, will you still be here tomorrow?"

And Aaron's never been so certain of anything before.

"I'll be here tomorrow." He promises, feels Robert envelope him further in this embrace and hold him even tighter.

And everything is still so heavy, because there's this stark realisation between them that won't go away.

They're flipping meant to be.

They're meant for each other in this certain sort of way that can't be broken.

Despite being young and ridiculous and absolutely nightmares, they _fit_?

It's enough to make them fall asleep holding hands under it all.

And Robert only dreams of Aaron's smile all night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so nervous about this chapter is taken lmao so please let me know. I don't know when I'll finish the last chapter but just know that although it has a direct continuation, it also includes a bit of the future too!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron adapt to their new lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS THE LAST CHAPTER AND I AM EMOTIONAL SO GO READ!!

  
When he wakes, Aaron is staring at him in this beautiful mesmerised sort of way and he's clearly almost stunned against what he sees. Robert almost frowns a little against it and then he sees the tears building in Aaron's eyes.

A knot builds in his stomach and he wonders if this is just a dream, if Aaron's really left him. Or if this is _reality_ and Aaron's going to leave him now, that's why he's crying, because he doesn't want to hurt him. His mind keeps running and running as he looks at him.

And, he's back to the morning after they kissed and spent the night together in Aaron's bed. He woke up alone and disappointed then and now -

Robert frowns at him until he feels this lightness about him and he suddenly realises that his wings are _gone_.

"They're -"

Aaron suddenly holds at his shoulders and he doesn't know what to say for a second or two. "Gone. You're - _human_ again Rob."

And it feels like Robert's fucking alive for the first time in absolute years.

He stretches himself further and there's this ease about him that Aaron seems to be in awe of still.

"I'm me again." He whispers lightly, almost to himself a little.

And he never thought it would be like this, he never thought that he would be able to have _Aaron_ and _no wings_ at the same time because it defies absolutely all logic.

But apparently when you're assigned to your soul mate or whatever, things seem to work out in the end.

After all the tears and chaos.

Robert's eyes flicker in this soft sort of way and he doesn't know what to do with himself. All he can see is Aaron and everything _else_ seems to melt away under the way Aaron's sitting on the sofa and following his every move with this nervous look on his face like he's unsure what to say or doesn't want to put a foot wrong.

"You still want me?" Robert whispers out of the blue almost, his voice is light and he's trying to joke but something deep within him is starting to churn because he can't deny that things are _different_ now.

Aaron nods his head. "Of course I do. Look at ya." He whispers, hands falling through Robert's hair gently. "I love you Rob."

And his body tingles against it and then against the way Robert's eyes almost sparkle with joy.

"Now don't make me say anything like that for at _least_ two days." Aaron's still Aaron, still this awkward ball of adorableness and Robert feels like he's been in love with him for years.

"It's you and me." Robert says, gulps hard and suddenly he gathers Aaron up in his arms and kisses him.

He keeps kissing him, breathless and soft and -

Aaron's still not over the fact that Robert came back to him.

Robert holds at Aaron tighter and then suddenly hears the sound of coughing pulling Aaron away from him.

He feels about sixteen when he sees Victoria standing by the door with Adam who seemingly cannot get over the shock.

His mouth is open and Robert blushes hard as Aaron detangles himself.

"The wings are -"

"Gone. Yeah." Robert clears his throat. "And me and Aaron are -"

Victoria looks like she's about to cry. "Madly in love?"

And she's so flipping embarrassing.

But also annoyingly spot on so nothing's changed there.

Aaron looks at Robert shyly, between gentle blinks and this rushing feeling within his heart swirling around and around and _this_ is what love gets to feel like.

"Something uh - something like that yeah." Aaron says, playing with his hands and Robert's eyes practically merge into hearts.

 

~*~

 

It doesn't take long for his mum to find out and she wanders over to the cottage before Aaron can get to her.

"I can disappear? Give you two space." Robert says as he spots her coming towards the door, he's got an old t-shirt on and Aaron's pawing at it a little in this soft clingy way.

Aaron frowns. "No. Stay here." He says slowly. "I want to face her together." He whispers, blushes under how soft he sounds.

Robert scoffs. "She's not a monster." He jones and then Aaron arches an eyebrow. "Alright, you know best." He waves a hand up and apparently they're an old married couple already.

Aaron's got a hand in Robert's as she comes through the door of the cottage and he can't read her expression straight away.

So Aaron jumps in first.

"I know what I want. It's not Ed or - or anyone else okay. It's Robert, it always has been okay?"

Aaron shudders a little against how fast he just spoke as he watches his mother just frown at him. She's probably ridiculously confused right now and sort of has the right to be.

"I thought you'd be in France right now, not here." Chas says, eyes flickering a little and Robert looks at Aaron.

"Maybe give us one second." Aaron mumbles a little and Robert squeezes his hand before slipping out. Aaron blows out a breath. "I came back for him."

Chas raises an eyebrow. "How romantic." She says and Aaron just frowns against it bedside despite everything, he wants his mum to be happy for him. Chas picks up on it, crosses her arms over and then shakes her head. "I reckon I've always sort of known. The way you looked at him. It was different from - from the way you looked at Ed."

And Ed had been helpful, useful even and Aaron was grateful for him but it didn't run as deeply as what he felt for Robert.

That was this constant, this tide of something strong and unbinding whenever he looks at Robert. He's not sure it'll ever go away really.

"He nearly died last night mum." Aaron's chin wobbles and he has to catch his breath against it. "I thought - it was happening _again_ and I hadn't told him how I felt." And everything seems to collapse in his chest, all at once, again and again.

He's apparently this emotional mess of a man and Chas suddenly _gets_ it.

"You really love him don't ya?" And as she speaks, she suddenly has this softness about her.

Aaron nods and feels everything inside him turn to jelly a little as pulls his jumper over his arms. It's suddenly mad to think how much he proved his love for Robert just yesterday.

Him, the reckless, volatile mess of a bloke who doesn't know how to admit his feelings.

"That's why I came back. He shot me and I didn't work." Aaron says, catches a bubble on his jumper and smiles faintly.

"Because it was him you were supposed to be with?" Chas asks and then comes comes towards her son. "And his wings, they've disappeared n'all." He could almost laugh at how she says it. "You did that."

Aaron feels something swell in his chest and his mum's almost proud of him, he can tell.

"Suppose I did." Aaron admits, chews at his lip a little as he speaks.

"He makes ya happy. So he makes _me_ happy."

Aaron nods. "Great." He whispers, and then Chas is pulling him into a hug and kissing his head. He tries to squirm against it but then sees Robert in the corridor with a thumb up and a smile on his face and -

Aaron can't think of a time where Robert will ever stop making him feel like _this_.

 

~*~

 

The whole village are fully aware and Aaron's already explained what happened about four times to Paddy who doesn't seem to get his head around it all.

But apparently Alicia thinks it's like something straight out of a fairy tale and Aaron's too macho to admit how much it made his heart flutter when he heard.

"So all along you were destined to be." She's explaining with her hands over the counter, eyes wide and almost gooey. "And you didn't have to shoot him to make him fall in love with you."

Aaron blushes under the weight of it and nods before turning back towards the pub where Robert spends most of his time now.

Aaron finds him in his room, just sitting on the bed quietly with his head down and there's something vulnerable about him. It almost _radiates_ out and shines directly at Aaron.

"Hey." Aaron whispers softly, he's still not good with this so he punches at Robert's knee lightly to try and get his attention, "What's up with you?"

And Robert has this look on his face that makes Aaron instantly join him on the bed and feel something bubble in his chest.

"You say you love me." Robert starts.

"Yeah, 'cause I do." Aaron frowns, "More than -"

"But what if you don't."

Aaron's used to Robert being insecure about his place in his family, with Vic and Andy and his _mum_. But this is brand new and he doesn't know what he supposed to say.

Robert doesn't look like he's finished speaking anyway and Aaron's thankful because he needs a little more out of him.

"You saw me dying, and you wanted me alive. It was _heightened_." Robert doesn't even look up as he speaks but Aaron's already aware of what he's talking about.

He freezes against the conversation they had a few days ago in this room where he told Robert that all his feelings were heightened for Jackson after the accident.

Aaron drops his head a little. "That was different." He whispers, a hand eases towards Robert's. "Rob, you know how I feel about you. This is just your mind trying to -"

Robert still feels like he's being punished for something and he's not sure _why_ but maybe because he cheated his way out of completing his list and properly shooting every single person.

"I'll let you down Aaron. I know I will. And us being _destined_ , it's going to end up hurting you even more. I know it." He isn't even sure where his head is at right now but it's dark and scary and he's loved Aaron for so long now that it's only terrifying to admit to.

Aaron holds Robert's knee and sighs. "I know you love me too? I know that - that we're young and stupid and you haven't had someone love you in _so_ long. But I also know that you're not going to leave me, and I'm not going to leave you am I?"

He's so certain of that, and he's not certain of most things but he doesn't see himself ever choosing to run away from Robert.

He punches Robert's knee lightly and it makes the older man lift his head.

"Look at you, you're _fit_." Aaron shrugs and Robert turns bright red against the complement. " _And_ you're my best mate."

"Who you want to sleep with?" Robert says and then his eyes widening and his hands turn clammy because that's not something they've done yet.

Aaron chews at his lip and it's not like he's not ready but there's this swirling feeling starting in his stomach as Robert tells him to forget it.

They've got time apparently.

Only Aaron pulls a hand down on Robert's chest and it shakes a little. "Let me show - show you how I feel." He says gently and Robert's eyes flicker.

"Are you sure?" Robert says, hands shaking as he holds at Aaron's face.

Aaron nods his head a little and smiles before diving towards Robert and -

Okay Robert hasn't had sex in a _very long time_ so to say him absolutely losing his mind is an understatement to say the very flipping least.

And Aaron loves every single second.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's panting hard on Robert's chest and feels the older man kiss him hard on the mouth before breaking away.

"You uh - had fun then." Aaron's this absolute beauty and the smirk on his face makes Robert's chest swirl.

"I did yeah." Robert kisses at Aaron's shoulder and he smiles as he clings tighter around Aaron's protective frame.

There's this beat of silence between them before Aaron twists at his lip. "This doesn't feel real, after - after everything." He admits, combing through Robert's hair and thinking about how much has changed so quickly.

"You mean the whole going round and round in circles thing?" And Robert is fully aware that him and Aaron love each other so much that they'd probably do anything for each other. That's why they got to the point in the first place, Aaron settling for Ed because it meant Robert could be mortal and Robert watching Aaron fall for someone else because he deserved true love.

Aaron nods. "Yeah that." He whispers, frowns a little as he kisses Robert's naked shoulder and feels the older man nods against him. "We really hurt each other didn't we? Because we were so stupidly stubborn."

Robert frowns against how much he cried over Aaron time and time. "Yeah we did. Now though, it feels like we've got our whole lives ahead of us." He says. "We _do_."

Aaron doesn't know how to sum up how he feels so he suddenly kisses him, kisses him hungrily and soft at the same time and he never thought he'd get _this_.

"And it's always going to be us two isn't it? Despite how stupid I am - or how ridiculous you can be." Aaron says and Robert pokes out before flipping Aaron on his back and staring over at him.

"I promise." Robert whispers, and there's so much certainty in his voice. "I love you. I always will." And Aaron grins at him, knows it's all true as he feels Robert's lips on his, dives into the feeling with open arms.

 

~*~

 

Robert's struggling.

There's no easy way of saying it but he's struggling to adapt to life as a human and what it all means and him and Aaron have their first proper fight over it.

He's got a job in town, boring and stuffy and Aaron's told him that he'll work his way up in no time, that it'll all be okay soon. Aaron says that a lot lately, he also says that about Robert's sexuality and dealing with it.

Because Andy's been okay with it, he doesn't really get it per say but he's been nice enough and so has Vic and that's almost worse.

It's worse when Aaron has his hand on Robert's lap and trying to be a good boyfriend.

"I need some air." Robert explains as he jumps up, feels himself needing to escape suddenly and Aaron frowns at him.

"I'll just get my -"

"No, you stay here, finish your pint." Robert says, doesn't even look back and he finds himself on the pub bench looking up at the black sky.

He fills a pull within him as he remembers a past life when things were different and he could escape before things became hard or too much. He closes his eyes to remember and then when he opens them he sees Aaron waving a hand out in front of him all adorably.

"You can talk to me you know." Aaron whispers against Robert's skin, feels like he's matured so much since he's been with Robert like this. "I know I'm shit at -"

"You're not shit." Robert says, delicately holds Aaron's hand and then he looks up at the sky again.

Aaron suddenly feels this punch to his stomach. "Missing it then?" He says, and he's regretting the way he downed his last pint before chasing after Robert.

Robert's caught off guard suddenly and blinks quickly against the hurt Aaron has in his eyes.

"I've seen how distant you've been." And it's only been a few weeks but maybe Robert's already regretting coming back. "The shine has worn off already hasn't it?"

Robert frowns. "What are you _talking_ about?"

Aaron just shakes his head. "You." He blurts out, hands waving a little. "I'm trying to be as - as understanding as I can here." He whispers, "I've always been bad at doing _this_ properly but if you're not going to talk to me then how am I -"

Robert stands. "You don't have to worry okay?" He tries to hold Aaron's hand and then presses his chest against the younger man's. "I just - this is all so much to get used to." He tries and Aaron is trying as well, he's trying to listen but he can't get passed the gnawing of doubt in his mind.

"You miss it. Just admit that you miss having an escape." Aaron says, sadness and anger there suddenly and this has been brewing for days between them. It's like they care about each other _too_ much to just let anything lie. So they explode like this into splinters of embers and it hurts.

"Admit I'd like an escape from _this_? Yeah okay fine I miss it."

He doesn't mean to say that, and Aaron's face falling suddenly makes it even more clearer in his mind that he's an absolute dick.

"Aaron, I didn't mean that." Robert says, eyes watering and this fright in his voice because he _loves_ him but how is he supposed to be who Aaron wants him to be if he hasn't even got his own head around it yet.

Aaron nods his head a few times. "You can sleep somewhere else tonight." He says, pushes passed Robert and it would still be easier to hate him but he doesn't.

He's incapable.

 

~*~

 

Robert hangs around Vic's like a wounded animal for a couple of hours whilst she tells him off basically and he tries to get his words out.

"You're both as bad as each other at this." Vic says, shuffles Robert along and sits beside him on the sofa before passing him her biscuit tin.

"At what?" He says, looking towards the tv and trying not to hate himself too much for how he reacted to Aaron's insecurities.

" _Talking_. Being together, properly." Vic apparently thinks she's a relationship counsellor just because she hasn't had to have an argument with Adam for a few days. Robert is almost insulted and then he listens. "I see it, you're both so terrified of hurting each other that you don't speak. You and him though, you're together for ever right?" She says it in some sing song way and Robert knows she's referring to them being bonded or whatever.

Robert nods his head loosely and then clicks his neck. "I don't want to lose him over this." He admits softly and Vic holds at his arm a little and pecks his head until he sighs. "I'm having a hard time being myself, without the wings and - I'm bisexual now so -" He loses his train of thought and looks at his sister. "I just don't want to scare him away if I tell him how I feel."

And he feels like Aaron's the only thing keeping him sane because everything else is moving at a hundred miles per hour and he can't seem to stop it.

"This is Aaron, the bloke who lost his mind a couple of weeks ago 'cause you went and hurt yourself." Vic says. "He'll want to know."

So Robert tries to tell him, a few hours later when it's too late for him to use the front entrance of the pub.

Aaron's in a ball on his bed and Robert kneels down a little as he catches his eye.

"My head's a mess but I love you Aaron."

Aaron's eyes flicker and suddenly he's got tears in them. He feels like the doubt that had drummed into him for all these hours is slowly subsiding.

"Do you regret us? Me. Meeting me and -"

Robert holds his hand, clutches it against his own and shudders. " _God_ no you idiot." He panics and Aaron just frowns at him a little. "I'm not used to this, someone caring about me the way you do." He drops his head and Aaron feels his heart jump as he looks at the man in front of him with this leather jacket and floppy hair and sad eyes. "I didn't mean what I said, I promise."

Aaron tentatively pulls a hand through Robert's hair. "I know." He whispers. "I get scared too." He says. "After Jackson, hearing that you're the love of my life just -"

Robert yanks his head up and everything inside him turns to jelly as Aaron speaks. It makes Aaron halt and he blushes as he carefully pulls Robert towards him on the bed and smiles at him.

"Yeah. Just you apparently, forever. The love of my -"

Robert feels absolutely everything inside him burst and he kisses Aaron hard and fast and it doesn't take long until they're falling into each other and releasing everything that was pulling them back.

It's even _later_ when Robert rests his chin on Aaron's chest and gazes up at him lovingly. "I hate fighting with you." He says, "So much."

Aaron nods his head slowly. "I'm sorry for being so insecure, not understanding that - all of _this_ is new to you."

Robert just shakes his head and sighs, clutching Aaron's body closer towards him. "Just need to get used to being a good boyfriend, you know, someone who can love you properly, share things. I don't know." He shrugs and it's painfully obvious that they're actually just idiots who are going to grow into loving each other even more than they do now.

"You already are a good boyfriend." Aaron defends him strongly. "And even _before_ , you listened to me about Gordon and - and all of that." He admits, "I can tell ya anything." He knows that with a beautifully easy confidence.

Robert melts underneath the praise and smiles at Aaron. "We're going to _nail_ all of this being a couple and in love thing aren't we?" He says and something so suddenly catches in Aaron's throat because yeah okay there's an amazing strength in realising that after years of people leaving you, there's someone, in your arms right now who won't _ever_ leave.

"You need to stop being so soft." Aaron mumbles suddenly, tears in his eyes as Robert leans up and kisses his lips. "You'll make me cry _again_." He says, and there's a lump in his throat. "I've cried too many tears over you Sugden."

Robert smiles faintly. "Good, happy ones though? Got to make up for all that time I didn't let you know how much I cared about you and didn't -"

Aaron rolls his eyes against all the rambling and places a finger against Robert's lips. "We've got the rest of our lives for you to make up for it." He promises and his body turns to jelly under the weight of his words. " _Cupid_." He's playful with it and Robert smirks.

"You're right _Psyche_ ," Robert whispers back, kisses at Aaron's neck softly before holding his hand.

And he gets exactly what he means about being with Aaron for the rest of his life. He's unsure about most things but not that, and you could call it ridiculous considering him and Aaron have only been together for a matter of weeks, but he knows.

He knows deep down exactly what this is and how his life will be shaped by colours and patterns decorated by Aaron's love for him.

In another other life, any other world he'd be here laying naked against Aaron feeling like his heart hasn't got enough space to ever love anyone this openly ever again.

"The rest of our lives."

 

~*~

 

"Will you actually get a move on." Robert slams a fist down against the bathroom door in frustration and Aaron pretends he hasn't heard him as he quickly washes at his face.

Yeah they're running late but that's only because Robert is an absolute drama queen and has to have Aaron practically hold his hand whenever he's picking out something to wear.

It's stifling outside in this unbearable way and Aaron's hair is already sticking up in all sorts of places as he opens the door and drags Robert towards him.

He's still getting used to the fact that this is their bathroom, in their flat which they own.

It practically sends shivers down his back and smacks a kiss against Robert's mouth as he stands in nothing but a towel hugging his waist which nearly drops as Robert dips his hand down.

"No." Aaron pulls him away and God any other Sunday morning he'd be more than up for it but it's Vic and Adam's wedding blessing and with him being best man and all that, he sort of has to make sure he isn't late.

They'd gone and eloped a year ago and everyone had missed out on the big day so this is take two.

"Come on." Robert is the most determined bastard ever and Aaron very nearly drops his towel and gives in but the sound of Robert's phone ringing breaks them apart.

"Later." Aaron promises, a kiss against Robert's ear as he passes him and the chance of something *more just oozing out of him as he goes.

Robert twists his lip and looks at him as he gets ready and something sort of locks in his chest suddenly. Aaron's different now, he smiles for no reason, works out healthy and has this beautiful gentleness about him now.

"I'll have trouble trying to restrain myself if I see you standing up there in a suit like that." Robert tells him, he's wearing nothing but a pair of pants himself and Aaron smirks at him as he sticks his leg in his trousers.

"Hmm, yeah? From what, getting down on one knee yourself?" Aaron laughs and Robert's eyes nearly pop out of his head before Aaron's doing all he can to backtrack. "Uh - I mean - I meant down on -"

"Two?" Robert shakes at his hair and Aaron nods slowly as the air between them settles into something they can endure.

Robert laughs a little and then kisses Aaron. "Yeah, exactly." He says.

And Aaron's left getting dressed by himself and stupidly reflecting on the three years they've had together that seem to have flown by but lasted so long at the very same time.

He catches sight of the photo of them in Amsterdam on his birthday last year and catches his breath against how happy Robert looks. There's certainly a lump in his throat as he thinks about the fact that Robert _got_ there, the bumpy road to trying to be happy within himself actually led to something good and Aaron is stupidly proud and grown up about it in this soft way.

Grown up and mature and the sort of couple who has dinner dates with Vic and Adam which usually consist of pizza and beer but the sentiment is still there. That's _them_.

And that's _mad_.

But so is the fact that getting flipping _married_ isn't this scary thing in Aaron's eyes anymore, it feels like the most beautiful thing in the world but Robert does _not_ have to know anything about that.

God no.

"Oi. Hurry up." Robert pokes his head around the door and Aaron smiles at him a little.

 

~*~

 

The ceremony is all soppy and beautiful and Aaron gets _soft_ and drops a hand on Robert's lap and squeezes his hand a little as Vic stands there reciting these vows.

And then they go back to being their normal selves as soon as Chas comments on how lovely they look sitting there in their suits.

"All happy and in love." He hears Chas say all proudly to Paddy and somehow he's become this grown up that she still treats like a kid. He rolls his eyes against it until Robert elbows him and tells him to be nice.

And Aaron keeps being nice until they get to the recipition and Adam's begging him to dance.

"I'm alright mate." He says, slips Adam's hand away as it tries to tug at his tie. "Go dance with your bride." He waves a hand around and Adam pouts before looking at Robert.

"I thought you made him softer?"

Robert sips at his beer and smiles up at Adam because yeah everyone says that Robert tamed the wild manic teenager and Aaron made Robert this caring friendly bloke.

In short, apparently they bring out the best in each other.

"Sorry mate." Robert says over the music and Adam kicks Aaron's leg before disappearing.

There's a moment of softness between them where Aaron strokes a hand over Robert's lap and Robert drags a hand over Aaron's chair protectively.

And then Victoria is appearing out of nowhere drunk and sobbing about how Aaron and Robert are each other's True Loves or something ridiculously soft.

She's hanging off a girl Robert has never seen before and smiling at the two of them.

"He had wings and everything and then somehow, for _some_ reason he fell in love with Aaron, who was - quite frankly a rude idiot!"

Her tongue is loose yet true and Aaron's left thinking about it as he watches her dance and has a hand in the crisps bowel.

"You had a good heart." Robert says, champagne in hand and bending down to kiss Aaron. "Why I fell for you? That's what your thinking about right?" He's a little tipsy and it's been three whole years and he's still so bloody in love with the sap that it aches sometimes.

It hurts to think about the fact that Aaron was nearly taken from him once upon a time, that _he_ was nearly taken from Aaron.

So he _doesn't_ think about, instead he tends to think about the future and all he sees is _AaronAaronAaron_.

Aaron nods a little and Robert has a hand on his face and it's like no one else is in the room.

"Because you were strong and brave and _fit_." Robert declares and Aaron blushes under the weight of Robert's words and the music is too cheerful for him to overthink like this. Robert seems to get that, drags him up and pulls him outside in a swift swoop.

"I was an absolute wreck back then." And Aaron before Robert as Aaron likes to label it, was this ridiculously sad and lost boy, angry and a complete right off. "And yet you -"

"Saw how amazing you were?" Robert frowns and then holds a hand towards Aaron's chest. "Just like - like you saw me, looked at me like I was more than just some bloke with wings who would make you fall in love." He frowns, hugs at Aaron's waist and smiles as the younger man gazes at him in complete awe.

"I love you so much."

And there's an honesty so raw and absolute in the way he speaks, Robert is nearly knocked back against it.

He knows that him and Aaron won't ever leave each other but that doesn't mean they won't drive each other up the wall and they _have_.

They fought for days about wanting to buy a place of their own, both of them too worried and scared they were moving too fast.

And before that they had Robert's sexuality to deal with, him having to explain his feelings to Andy and Vic and tell them that he was bisexual.

At times it felt like it was never ending but three years later they've literally grown up with each other in different ways and that easy yet messy sort of love still remains.

Always will.

Robert nods his head. "I love you too." He says, "Especially when you're standing there in a suit." He waves a hand out and Aaron bites his lip.

"Take me home." He says boldly and Robert sticks a hand out even further for Aaron to grab ahold of.

 

~*~

 

Aaron's practically pounces on Robert as soon as they're through the door and he is so out of breath an hour later that he's pulling his trousers on and walking down the stairs because he's in need of a glass of water.

"Hmm, don't be too long." Aaron's clingy, soft, absolutely *gone for his best friend.

Robert smiles by the door. "I promise I won't be." He smiles, and then he's down the stairs and by the sink.

He sips at his glass of water before wiping at his eyes and looking towards the pile of letters near the messy cupboard.

He groans against the fact that his respectable accountant job includes a lot of ridiculous letters about clients. He doesn't see any of them though, one letter in particular shines out and it's gold and glittered and too quickly is in Robert's hands.

He opens it with ease and then holds his breath,

' _Dear Robert,_

_I have to start by saying how incredibly proud I am of you and how brave you have been over the years. You've loved Aaron in a spectacular way, and I am in awe of your strength against everything that has been in your way. Yet, I'm not surprised in the slightest._

_I must admit, I had suspicion from the minute you met Aaron that he was more than just your last person. The way you two sparked when you touched was too strong to ignore and despite knowing it wasn't possible, you defied the odds in the most dramatic way possible didn't you? You even managed to surprise me._

_I'll never forgive myself for how dark your mind went that night when you shot yourself and can't tell you now sorry I am for not doing anything sooner. I should have done more for you, tried to find out about Aaron's soul before it was too late. But I had the pleasure of seeing Aaron's deep love for you come alive and my fears of his readiness to fully accept how he felt seemed to melt away so quickly as I looked down._

_He did every single thing he could to bring you back and it worked and I have watched you go from strength to strength with every passing day. The minute you lost your wings you became you again, stronger, better, more loved than you were when we first met._

_You matured into this man capable of understanding love in this deep and unwavering way and for that, I believe all those years of loneliness have been worth it for where you are now. Happy, settled, with a family and a whole life to live with Aaron._

_So please don't hold back, don't waste any time because sooner or later he'll find the box Robert and he'll love you even more for it, you'll know by his answer._

_I promise._

_Remember I'm watching, always._

_Always proud._

_Love from,_

_Clarissa_

_Xx '_

His eyes are damp by the time he's finished and he shudders against the fact that he has spent every day wondering how she is and if she still cares about him.

He holds the letter towards his chest as he takes a moment to soak in her words and then re-reads a certain sentence three times.

It makes him go up the stairs, heart beating out of his chest and he finds Aaron kneeling on the bed.

His hair is soft and forgotten, curled against his forehead and his boxers are tight against his skin and -

He's got the ring box in his hand and a grin on his face, it spreads wider and wider and -

Robert is going to spend the rest of his life with him, married, kids, dogs, the absolute _works_ if he'll let him.

He'll love and look after Aaron in this life and the next.

"Aaron," he rubs a hand through his hair and walks towards the bed awkwardly. "Will you - I mean, I know it's not been _years_ but would you -"

And Aaron's going to spend the rest of his loving and loving after Robert.

"Yeah."

And absolutely nothing else matters as Aaron wraps his arms tight and Robert's neck and bounces them up and down a little in excitement and makes the older man turn to goo.

Because it's not his wings that go crazy and flutter like mad nowadays, it's just his heart and he's only got Aaron Dingle to thank for that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long progress, and I have absolutely loved writing this fic. Thank you so much for all the comments and lovely messages this fic has received. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought about the ending! <3333

**Author's Note:**

> if you have any questions about the premise, just leave me a comment and i'll get back to you! 
> 
> other than that, i hope you enjoyed the first chapter! there's plenty of more to come!


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